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Thread: Unexpected Lovesickness

  1. #1

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    Feb 2019
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    Unexpected Lovesickness

    Hallo Zusammen,
    Hier trifft mich etwa mit so unerwarteter Wucht, dass ich schockiert bin.
    Ich bin geschaeftlich viel unterwegs, lebe weit weg von Deutschland im Ausland, und habe vor fast 10 Jahren eine Frau auf einer Auslandsreise kennen gelernt. Damals war ich in einer Beziehung, habe kaum Gedanken an sie verschwendet, wenngleich es fuer sie Liebe auf den ersten Blick war (was ich damals aber nicht wusste).
    Wir sind per Email in Kontakt gekommen und haben ihn nie mehr abreisen lassen, es war aber immer ein Entfernung zwischen uns und es hat Jahre gedauert bis wir uns gesehen haben.
    Vor 1,5 Jahren sind wir endlich zusammen gekommen, wenn auch in einer Fernbeziehung. Sie kann nicht weg wo sie ist, ich kann nicht weg wo ich bin, und so sahen wir uns nur alle 2 Monate oder so. Es war nie genug, fuer beide nicht, aber wir hatten eine wunderbare Zeit. Natuerlich auch viel Traenen, viel Sehnsucht, viel Trennungsschmerz und der Wunsch nach mehr.
    Auf ihren Vorschlag hin, haben wir uns nun getrennt, uns aber versprochen weiterhin umeinander zu kuemmern.
    Ich weiss, das da ein Kollege von ihr ist, der sie mag, sie auch ihn, und ich habe vermutet, das er zumindest einer der Trennungsgruende ist.
    Sie hat es verdient jemanen um sich zu haben und ich darf keine Ansprueche haben, wenn ich nicht fuer sie da sein kann. Es scheint auch so zu sein, dass die beiden zusammen kommen oder es schon sind.
    Ich habe das erwartet, goenne es ihr, um muesste damit ok sein da sie mir versprochen hat, mich nicht fallen zu lassen und sich weiterhin um mich zu kuemmern.
    Es ist nun das 1. Wochenende nach der Trennung, das der Kollege bei ihr verbringt, ich sehe sie ganz wenig am Chat, und die Vorstellung das er mit ihr zusammen ist trifft mich wie ein Hammer.
    Ich habe ihr immer gesagt wie sehr ich sie liebe, wusste aber offenbar selbst nicht, wie sehr. Ich habe unendliche Sehnsucht, Schmerzen, ich vermisse sie und wuerde am liebsten allen hinschmeissen, zu ihr fliegen und sie mitnehmen.
    Weil ich das nicht kann, weiss ich nicht wie ich da je drueber wegkommen kann.
    Ich schaue mir Bilder an, hoere die Lieder, die unsere waren und lese alle chats der vergangenen 1.5 Jahre. Keine Ahnung wie ich mich auf meine Arbeit konzentrieren soll.
    Was kann ich nur tun?
    Ich fuehle mich so hilflos, so ueberrollt von dieser unfassbar grossen Liebe, die ich offenbar verloren habe ...
    :-(

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    It would be appreciated if you could translate your post into English. This is not a German site. No-one can help if they have no clue what is posted. Thanks!

  3. #3

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    Feb 2019
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    I am sorry.
    It was in German language. I think, I have to write in English.
    Will do that and repost.
    Sorry.

  4. #4

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    Unexpected Lovesickness

    Hi Together,
    Something hit me with a force, I was not expecting and I am shocked and donít know what to do.
    In my business I am traveling a lot, I life far away from my home country Germany and I met almost 10 years ago a woman on a business trip. I was in a relationship at this time and didnít had much of a thought about her, although from her side it was love on the first view (which I didnít knew at this time)
    We got in contact via email as she contacted me and we never lost contact again but it took years to meet again.
    Finally 1.5 years ago we came together, still on a long-distance relationship. She cant leave the country she lives, I cant leave where I am, therefore I just flew in every two month for 2 days, 4 days, 1 week, etc Ö It was never enough for us, for both if us, but we had a wonderful time every time we met. It was like
    trilling days every time, deep love, full devotion. But of course also a lot of tears, a lot of desire, pain when leaving and the wish for more.
    I always felt guilty that I cant give her what she deserves, she accepted, appreciated what we had, but I could see it could not stay like this forever.
    On her proposal we broke up last month, but we promised to continue carrying emotionally for each other.
    I know, there is a colleague of her around, she likes him, he her, and I assumed, that he is at least a part of the reason to break up.
    She deserves somebody around her all the time and I cant claim her as I cant be at her location. It looks like, they are coming together or maybe they are already and he is a good guy. I expected this, I grant it her so much and it should be ok for me as she promised to continue care about me.
    Its now the first weekend after the break-up where this colleague spends the weekend at her. I see her just frequently on the chat and the imagination that he is with her hit me like a hammer.
    I always said, that I love her, but probably didnít even knew by myself how much. I have so much desire, pain, I miss her and I would like to leave everything here and just fly to her to take her with me. Because I cant, I donít know how to handle this.
    I look at picture of her, listen to songs of us (Celine Dion Ė Because you loved me), reading all chats of the last 1.5 years and have no idea how to concentrate on my job.
    At least, I didnít bother her online. I just sent her the lyrics of ďBecause you loved meĒ without any comment ...
    What shall I do?
    I feel so helpless, overran from this incredible big love I might have lost Ö I look at picture of her, listen to songs of us (Celine Dion Ė Because you loved me), reading all chats of the last 1.5 years and have no idea how to concentrate on my job.
    What shall I do?
    I feel so helpless, overran from this incredible big love I might have lost Ö
    Last edited by NADHYT; 02-10-2019 at 03:21 AM.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This long distance situation is not viable and she did you a favor ending it. This way you both can move forward and find more suitable local dating partners. You may miss the connection, however it mat be time to ask yourself why you do not have a local girlfriend. Try to stop reminiscing this much and start getting on dating apps and dating local women. Many LDR are based on a great deal of fantasy about the person, since there is not enough time together to really know them. Btw, get the google translate app for your phone...very useful for traveling.
    Originally Posted by NADHYT
    Finally 1.5 years ago we came together, still on a long-distance relationship. She cant leave the country she lives, I cant leave where I am

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You cannot do anything, it isn't possible for you to be together due to the distance.

    As difficult as it will be, you're going to have to find closure with this. You will drive yourself crazy listening to that song and reading all of your chats.

    If she wants to end things so she can find someone else, I think all you can do is respect that. It's unfortunate, but I don't think you have any other choice with the distance and her wanting to see other men.


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