This is a long story and my first post so I'll try to explain as much and as best as I can. I'll include a TL;DR
Back when I was a Sophomore in HS (i was 15), I met this girl on Facebook who went to my same school. We chatted each other up, met at school, hung out, and after a month, we were an official couple.
We were together for 3.5 years (from 15-18), off and on.
During our relationship, I was very much in love with her considering she was my first everything and the only person I had ever connected with at this point in my life. We always hung around each other, talked every day and had many things in common, days went by fast and it was never boring.
Our relationship ended when I found out she was cheating on me. Her friend had informed me and I was pretty crushed. Crushed to the point where I wasn't eating or leaving my room. When I confronted my girlfriend, she never admitted to her infidelity and had made it seem like I was going through her phone or social media to find out the information. We obviously broke up when it happened but after a week of not talking to one another, I made the move to talk to her again and just be friends. We ended up fooling around for about 4 months until I realized she was avoiding getting back together because she was seeing someone else she was interested in. Feeling hurt and stupid once again, I cut ties with her completely and never made the effort to talk to her again.
SO
3 years after breaking up and not having any contact with each other, I get a message from my ex through my social media.
The message, in short terms, said, "Hey, how have you been? I know you might not wanna talk to me but something was telling me to check up on you. I wanna make sure everything is okay. I wanna apologize for being a in the past. I'm definitely not that way anymore.. but yeah, just checking up on ya."
Upon receiving this message, I was conflicted on responding. I spent 3 years getting over my ex and growing as a person to help me with the issues she left behind. One part of me wanted to not responded, but another part of me was curious. So, I asked my sister, her husband, and my sister-in-law for advice. My sister and her husband both advised me to not respond, while my sister-in-law suggested I message her to see what she wanted and what her intentions were.
Going with the lather, I responded.
We talked, caught each other up on where life had taken us (me being 21, constantly needing to be busy while happy; her being 23, a mother while unhappy) and we exchanged another form of communication (Snapchat)
She messaged me almost every day to make small talk, or tell me about her dreams she was having of me and I kept her at arms length away because I wasn't interested in having her too close to me once again.
Eventually, I agreed to meeting up with her for drinks. That night, I tried to drink my nervousness away and ended getting drunk but still being able to know what I was doing. I ended up kissing her that night leading us to pull over and make out for a few minutes before she insisted that I was too drunk and needed to be taken back home.
After, I apologized for my behavior and she reassured me it was okay because she wanted it.
We met up again and we ended up hooking up in her car. We met up another time in her car and talked and kissed, which the next day she said she felt like she was falling for me all over again.
The most current time we met up, she brought her daughter along and I was shocked/nervous. But, I have had much experience with babies since I helped raise my 3 nephews so I flowed with hanging out with them both while in the store.
Through all of this, she has said she wants to be with me because she thinks I'm the one, that I would make a better father to her child than the actual father, has said she misses my family and wants to meet them again, has told her mother and sister about talking to me again (both of them in full support), has confessed that she had missed me all this time we were apart and that she was very sorry for everything she did and she was different now, said she feels she was young and stupid with her past mistakes knowing it wasn't right and knowing it's not excuse.
For me, in the beginning I was going along with meeting her and kissing her because I did like the feeling of when we kissed. It was like when we were younger and I got the same exact feeling that I had never gotten with anyone else. When we ended up hooking up, I felt horrible and guilty for her boyfriend, but I also felt good because I did miss her and I wanted more. I cant say that I'm falling for her again (maybe I am and just being a douche) but I do care deeply for her and I want her to be happy. When I met her daughter, it was when things took a big turn for me.
It went from fooling around to meeting this little life that was too adorable and made me feel a weird way while I was with them both.
I really did enjoy spending time with her and her daughter, but again, I felt completely horrible afterwards because of what exactly we were doing.
Now, things have gotten to the point where I am having feelings for her that I don't think I can keep a secret from anyone else because I do want more. They have gotten to the point where I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure no matter what.
I confronted her about not wanting to be a side piece and that I didn't want to continue this if she was still going to be with her boyfriend because I was going to get attached and love not only her but her daughter as well. She replied with that she wanted to be with me and wanted me apart of both of their lives and that she was sorry but she was using her boyfriend for a way to move out of their current place (his parents' house) and to have a stable place for the baby since she didn't have a job or ability to do it on her own, saying she didn't want to use me. She then said it would take a while for any dramatic changes to happen and if I was feeling like I didn't want to be apart of it, she would totally understand.
With all of this, I've come to terms that it could be true that we may be the one for each other because we do click very well (that's a big thing for me since I don't 'click' with many people in my life), and that I can see a future with her and the baby and we both have expressed we're really happy when we spend time together.
My big problems are the boyfriend situation and my family.
I'm unsure if I should jump ship now before I dig a too deep hole for both of us, or continuing what we're doing and just enjoy our time together before whatever decisions happen.
TL;DR
My ex of 3 years cheated on me and came back into my life 3 years later. We mess around, have feelings for each other, she wants me to be the step daddy but she's still with her boyfriend until she has a stable place for her child. What do I do? Do I leave or ride out the wave until it dries up?