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Thread: Airport pick up

  1. #1

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    Airport pick up

    Hi, my girlfriend went on holiday for about a week and she's upset that I can't pick her up at the airport. Before she left, I already mentioned that I have a dinner with colleagues the night she arrives. The dinner was organized few weeks ago, before she even booked her trip. If I go to pick her up, I would have to skip dinner or at best spend about 1 hour there. Am I being unreasonable?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    No, you are definitely not in this case but it may be that this is a manifestation of a deeper grievance. Is this the first time you decline to make her a priority? Does she often complain about you not being there for her or not helping her out and on which occasions? She is either a spoiled brat or you may have been neglectful in other ways. Which is it?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How long have you been dating? How old is she? She must not travel too much if she's never used airport transportation before and expects friends and family to be at her beck and call for that.

    Why won't any of her friends or family go get her? Or is this some sort of power struggle or you have to prove your love, devotion, bf value, whatever, this way?

    How did she get to and from the airport at her travel destination? If they have taxis and ride services there surely they exist where you are, no?
    Originally Posted by Menomek
    Before she left, I already mentioned that I have a dinner with colleagues the night she arrives. The dinner was organized few weeks ago, before she even booked her trip. If I go to pick her up, I would have to skip dinner or at best spend about 1 hour there.

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    It’s true that there is this romantic notion around being picked up at the airport. It absolutely makes you feel a little ‘extra’ loved and that people were looking forward to your return. I travel quite a bit and I’ll admit that I do love it when people offer to pick me up. It’s a lovely gesture.

    That said, most adults understand that life is not like the movies and sometimes there are other things going on. As adults, we are self-sufficient and find other ways to solve for problems.

    I agree with Clio. Either she is being high-maintenance or this is a trend in your relationship. If you regularly don’t make her a priority or neglect her or she generally feels unloved, this is another piece of “evidence” of a pre-existing feeling. Only you know which one rings more true.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    How important is this dinner? Meaning is this something important to your career where you just have to be present or is this just dinner?

    If it's just dinner, you are basically telling your gf that even though you haven't seen her in a week, you couldn't care less and would rather go hang with your work buddies than welcome her back. This isn't about the logistics but the emotional message you are sending, which is "I don't value you."

    If it is important for you to be at that dinner, you need to explain to her why and then do something special later. Let her know you've missed her.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    You don't need to explain anything. Your girlfriend's a grown woman who can get herself home. I'm not aware of an airport in the world that doesn't have a taxi lane, and I've traveled through quite a few 3 - 4 gate airports.

    If the notion of value in your relationship is contingent on a partner ducking a social commitment to needlessly make a however hour long round trip to and from the airport, I'd bow out sooner than later.

    I've always picked up friends and girlfriends alike if they happen to be flying in at a time I can swing it, assuming they didn't decide flying into O'Hare or LAX at 5:00pm on a Friday would be the perfect time. I've appreciated when they've been able to do so for me. But it's a courtesy and a luxury. Your default assumption and expectation should be getting yourself home.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    You don't need to explain anything. Your girlfriend's a grown woman who can get herself home. I'm not aware of an airport in the world that doesn't have a taxi lane, and I've traveled through quite a few 3 - 4 gate airports.

    If the notion of value in your relationship is contingent on a partner ducking a social commitment to needlessly make a however hour long round trip to and from the airport, I'd bow out sooner than later.

    I've always picked up friends and girlfriends alike if they happen to be flying in at a time I can swing it, assuming they didn't decide flying into O'Hare or LAX at 5:00pm on a Friday would be the perfect time. I've appreciated when they've been able to do so for me. But it's a courtesy and a luxury. Your default assumption and expectation should be getting yourself home.
    Agree. I'd never expect a boyfriend to give up on already planned social commitments (it doesn't matter if work or his buddies) to go pick me up at the airport. Assuming that he'll meet her afterwards or the day after and do something together and assuming she's not disabled, I don't see what the fuss this is about. It's nice to be picked up, but makes no sense to be ad when someone can't pick us up.

    Also, every airport (and believe me, I've lived in a very isolated place with an airport that flies one or two planes a day maximum) has transport options, like taxi or even bus. It's not like she's stranded and has to spend the night at the airport for lack of transportation.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    Agree. I'd never expect a boyfriend to give up on already planned social commitments (it doesn't matter if work or his buddies) to go pick me up at the airport. Assuming that he'll meet her afterwards or the day after and do something together and assuming she's not disabled, I don't see what the fuss this is about. It's nice to be picked up, but makes no sense to be ad when someone can't pick us up.

    Also, every airport (and believe me, I've lived in a very isolated place with an airport that flies one or two planes a day maximum) has transport options, like taxi or even bus. It's not like she's stranded and has to spend the night at the airport for lack of transportation.
    I agree with this and it's for vacation! If you haven't seen her in a week maybe you can meet up briefly after your dinner when she is home.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Getting someone to pick us up at the airport is an indulgence, or a luxury. The 1970s have come and gone. Unless one is arriving at such a place as presents security risks (such in countries wherein one might be asked to bribe customs, airport police etc just to get out)... expect to transport yourself. Period. Always unless offered otherwise.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Is your girlfriend very young? To me, it seems that the younger the person, the more attention they need to make them feel secure within the relationship. A lot more than those of us a bit longer in the tooth anyway.

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