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Thread: Airport pick up

  1. #21
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    What I'm thinking is OP feels guilty, on some level he may feel he should have picked her up but simply did not want to. And feels guilty about that.

    Regardless of the dinner.

    I don't know, he's been quiet hasn't said much since first post.

    So I could be wrong, just what I'm sensing from this whole thing, and that this runs a bit deeper than simply not picking her up at airport.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think he's looking for validation that he's not a bad guy. *shrugs* He didn't do anything wrong but she's clearly making him feel bad for not jumping through her hoop. I wonder if she makes him feel bad often. Does she regularly want him to give up things he's planned to accommodate her spur of the moment decisions?

    Op: What is your relationship mostly like? Was this a one off or does she often test you like this and expect you to drop things planned for her or was this a one off and you're feeling guilty for not doing what she asked?

  3. #23
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    But again TWT, where are you getting "she" is clearly making him feel bad for not jumping through her hoop?

    All he said was she is upset, which could mean anything from voicing a slight disappoint, to causing a huge argument and guilt tripping.

    Could it not be possible that his guilt and bad feelings come from within himself?

    For not picking her up and feeling he should have, as her bf?

    This would not be uncommon, if that's the case.

    Bottom line, we need more info!

    OP can you return and clarify how "upset" she was/is, did she argue with you about it, say things that are causung you to feel guilty?

    Or, rather, are these bad feelings you have your own internal thought process?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    But again TWT, where are you getting "she" is clearly making him feel bad for not jumping through her hoop?
    Well, he's asking if he's being unreasonable. If she didn't make him feel bad, why would he have to ask that question? Why would he have to start a thread about it even?

    All he said was she is upset,
    He also asked if he was being unreasonable.
    [quote]
    Could it not be possible that his guilt and bad feelings come from within himself?
    Most people don't ask if they are being unreasonable if someone hasn't made them feel that they are being unreasonable or making them feel bad about their choice... but yes, anything is possible.

    Bottom line, we need more info!

    OP can you return and clarify how "upset" she was/is, did she argue with you about it, say things that are causung you to feel guilty?

    Or, rather, are these bad feelings you have your own internal thought process?
    Well, we could use more info but not as far as the actual question of "am I being unreasonable." I suppose in all depends on the person what the answer to that would be.

    I guess if Op is confident in his decision, then no, he wasn't being unreasonable since he had previous plans and let his g/f know before she left that he wouldn't be picking her up. Op: You would be "unreasonable" if you ditched picking her up to go to a dinner planned after she left on her trip and you had told her you would pick her up. (in my opinion of course)

    Sorry Kat... I guess I'm just in a debating mood. *winkz*

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  6. #25
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    Well I don't agree TWT, in fact he could have asked if he was being unreasonable even if she had not been upset about it.

    It's his own guilt that could be causing him to ask, not knowing if, as her bf, picking her up is something he should do. Or want to do.

    It's hard to say without more info, but to automatically assume she is the cause of all his inner turmoil, is a bit unfair without more info, imo.

    It's also possible he is perceiving her to be more upset than she actually is due to his own guilt about it.

    Also pretty common.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    We don't need more info. He had a dinner commitment. She even knew ahead of booking, not that he'd need to provide her notice to have the excuse. Ms. Daisy can get another driver.

    Her telling him she was upset about it isn't communication. It's failure as a grown adult to internalize it and get over it without dumping it on your partner and essentially faulting them. As TWT pointed out, she has a "right" to feel however she wants. That doesn't preclude one from a responsibility to keep in check how those feelings manifest.

    And even if we're talking some habit of not being thoughtful, she can and should put on her big girl pants and discuss the point. If she can have the audacity to whine over him not cancelling his social plans to pick her up, she can certainly risk a much more relatable and sympathetic conversation.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    It's also possible he is perceiving her to be more upset than she actually is due to his own guilt about it.
    ... Or she made him feel guilty when he didn't do anything to feel guilty about. ;)

  9. #28
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    Okay, guys if you insist on making assumptions about her "whining," "guilty tipping" or whatever other negative spins you can dream up based on one comment he made about her being "upset" which again can mean many things, including his own misperception, have at it!

    Good luck OP!

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    ... Or she made him feel guilty when he didn't do anything to feel guilty about. ;)
    Yes possibly, point is we just don't know at this point, it's all speculation!

    Including what you wrote j.man. You are no more a mind reader than we are.

  11. #30
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    "I want you to pick me up at the airport" and "I need you to pick me up at the airport" are two different things.

    I travel relatively frequently and while it would be nice to save the $30 parking fee, the only way to guarantee I have a way home is to arrange it myself and either take my own car or arrange for transportation.

    But yeah, not enough info.

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