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Thread: Airport pick up

  1. #11
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Is your girlfriend very young? To me, it seems that the younger the person, the more attention they need to make them feel secure within the relationship. A lot more than those of us a bit longer in the tooth anyway.
    Yes, often that is true. Also, there are exceptions to the stark nature of my answer. For example, in an LDR when one half of a relationship is traveling expressly to visit the other, AND its a special trip not a regular thing, AND if the distance to travel upon landing is long, AND if it is difficult to engage an airport bus etc., then perhaps the local person needs to make airport pick up a higher priority. Even then, the timing may be difficult and the out-of-towner may need to cool their heels at the airport to accommodate the local's schedule.

  2. #12
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    No you are not being reasonable.
    But I'm willing to bet that if you attempted to see if you could re-schedule the dinner - just try - and came back to her and said, "i'm sorry honey.. i did my best to see if we could re-schedule the dinner.. unfortunately some of the other guys had to go thru hoops to make arrangements to come and so we couldn't reschedule it" - I think she'll be okay with it.

    My guess is - if she sees that you considered her first, did your best to accomodate her, but couldn't because you're being a good friend and not overly inconveniencing your friends (after all.. it WAS scheduled first, you DID tell her ahead of time, and it's harder to reschedule 4 people than 1 person) - i think that's all she can ask for and wants to see. Of course she'd love to get a ride from you but some things are "out of your control."

    But what IS in your control - was the ability to initially be open to, think of, and attempt to accomodate her first if at all possible - even if it fails.

    Give that a try and see if that changes her tune. (aka.. females and gf's dont' take kindly to the straight out "no" without trying to accomodate them.... catch my drift?)

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Sounds like the kind of witch testing I did with guys during my adolescence. I created non-essential crises to test whether the guy will resolve it. Problem is, if he 'passed' the test by catering to me, he really failed himself by setting a precedent for how easily I could manipulate him, and I'd lose respect for him. If he stood his ground, and especially if he stood up to me and told me to get over it, then I'd gain respect for him despite my whining.

    The key word above is 'adolescence'. Most people believe that this growth stage ends at age 18, but it actually stays with us through our early 20's. Some people never really grow out of it because their sense of entitlement has 'worked' so well to control the passive people around them. But the only real 'success' is keeping everyone miserable, including the manipulator.

    I'd skip this, and tell GF that if she didn't 'hear' me when I told her I'd be unavailable, that's on her--and so is her own return from the airport.

    Head high, and respect yourself, or nobody else will, either.

  4. #14
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    I would not expect my bf to pick me up either.

    But it certainly would be a thoughtful gesture if he did!

    It's little things like this that just mean so much, to me anyway.

    And I will do my part in showing my appreciation too!

    And reciprocate when the ocassion arises.

    That's what relationships are about imo, or one thing. Give and take even when an inconvenience.

    They serve to increase emotional intimacy, which is perhaps something you don't want or fear on some level?

    Not accusing just asking.

    But oh well, you'd prefer to attend your "dinner" which is certainly your prerogative.

    That said, she has the right to her feelings too - disappointment, hurt, upset, whatever she's feeling -- without being deemed a spoiled, self-entitled princess.

    And yes as an adult I am sure she knows how to get home without your help, which isn't really the point, but again you made your choice so she either accepts it or realizes this isn't the right relationship for her.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 02-09-2019 at 12:57 PM.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I suspect your Love Language is Acts of Kindness, Katrina. :)

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I suspect your Love Language is Acts of Kindness, Katrina. :)
    Yeah my first LL is "acts of service" which acts of kindness definitely false under!

    Not that I need to be "serviced" lol, but to me a man shows love through actions, including little things like picking me up at airport, unless something dire is preventing him from doing so.

    Choosing to have dinner with others instead, would disappoint me. :(

    My second love language is quality time!

    Third, physical touch.

    Fourth, words of affirmation.

    Fifth, gifts. :)

  8. #17
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Yeah my first LL is "acts of service" which acts of kindness definitely false under!

    Not that I need to be "serviced" lol, but to me a man shows love through actions, including little things like picking me up at airport, unless something dire is preventing him from doing so.

    Choosing to have dinner instead, would disappoint me.

    My second love language is quality time!
    Mine is also Acts of Service/Kindness but I'd not want him to give up a pre-planned function. If I knew in advance (which the Op's girlfriend did) that he had other plans then I would make sure I had the moola on me to pay for an airport cab. Saves feeling bad about the whole thing. ;)

  9. #18
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    Fair enough, owing I can be a bit high maintenance about certain things! Lol

    It's never been an issue, when disappointed or hurt, I will get over it pretty quickly!

    Not one to start a huge drama fest over it.

    Howver, if it happens a lot, I will rethink the relationship.

    Just saying, OP's gf has the right to feel hurt and disappointed without being deemed a spoiled princess, that's all. ;)

  10. #19
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Well, yes, she has a "right" to feel what she wants. I'm just thinking, why suffer when she clearly didn't have to. "pick your battles" comes to mind.

    Now, had he said he would pick her AND THEN made other plans ... that would be a real crappy thing to do to someone.

  11. #20
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    Agree with pick your battles.

    However, how do we know she is, in fact, picking a battle?

    All OP said was she is "upset". Which is her right.

    But we don't even know what that means exactly.

    Disappointed? Hurt? Angry? Causing drama?

    Hopefully she will let it go and not make a huge issue about it.

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