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Thread: messaged by someone i once loved.

  1. #1
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    messaged by someone i once loved.

    When I was 16 I had the opportunity to go on a school exchange program in England.
    I was there for almost a year. In the first few weeks I was there I met this girl who I had a major crush on. We ended up being boyfriend and girlfriend knowing that I would have to be going back to the US after the school year.
    We made a promise that we would still stay in touch but could see other people because of the distance.
    After about 2 or 3 months of being back we lost touch and I never herd from her again.
    About a week ago I get a notification on my phone saying that someone had sent me a message on Facebook. It was her. After almost 15 years of not talking. She was asking about how I was and how much she missed me. She had never forgotten about me. We are both single and she wants to come visit me even though we live so far away. There is so much I want to say but I have no idea where to start. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Member eldasensei's Avatar
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    Where do you want to go with this?

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    I want to be with her. I feel like she is the one that got away but after 15 years i have no idea of what to say.

  4. #4
    Member eldasensei's Avatar
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    You do realize you are romanticizing her based on how you felt about her, 15 years ago. Although she contacted you after 15 years, I do think you should slow down and try to engage her as if you were getting to know a total stranger/new person. Furthermore, try to find out what made her contact you after such a long time and don't immediately make your own conclusions about it. For all you could know, she just felt nostalgic when looking at some oldschool foto's or maybe she just got out of a relationship. Probably she might've been planning to come over to the US and you popped up in her mind. What I am trying to say is you don't know yet where this is coming from so try not to make your own drastic conclusions or romanticize a whole future with her. I know, easier said then done. But try to manage your expectations within the best of your ability.

    Now to what you could say. You could first suggest a skypecall (or something similar) if she's still in England so that both of you could catch up a little and after some small catching up, ask her what her plans are for the coming few weeks/months. You might just find out that she was planning/thinking of coming to the US. But first see how the catching up goes and if both of you are eager to see/speaking eachother. If thats the case, then make a suggestion of seeing eachother in the near future. Plant that seed and see where that leads to.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It may be worth it to ask to videochat a few times. This would give you some valuable info as to why she suddenly contacted you as well as let you determine how much has changed and what you may or may not still have in common.
    Originally Posted by Bones4
    About a week ago I get a notification on my phone saying that someone had sent me a message on Facebook. It was her. After almost 15 years of not talking.


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