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Thread: 2nd date tonight.

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    2nd date tonight.

    I don't want to go but, I know in hindsight I will kick myself later...

    we met on line and texted a couple days and made a date. I had a really good time. He said he did, too. asked me out again, gave me a little peck that barely touched my side lip. it was actually very cute

    we've been texting and bantering about our date tonight since. all good... good... good... right?

    Well! I made a joke about karate chopping him... and he said-

    "Ok good luck to you... I don't date anyone that jokes about abuse. I will never see you again. bye"

    I couldn't believe it. It was a joke!

    I must of made sense when I said he was being harsh and he misunderstood... because the date is back on...

    But geesh.... maybe this is a major red flag?

    thoughts?

    ps.... I've been single for a year after a break up I took very hard. so I am very unsure of myself and I don't know what to think.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member Viceroy's Avatar
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    Kinda hard to really telll but that’s kinda strange . Idk , maybe he saw physical abuse occur with his parents ?

    I say continue to go out but if you feel you have to walk on egg shells , NEXT.....

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    Major red flag, good luck with that

  4. #4
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    what was the context? what was said before?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    what was the context? what was said before?
    hard to explain... we were talking about cry babies and victims. and i thought he was saying I was a baby or victim. And I was like, if you're ginna be mike this I will karate chop you in the throat

    I thought that was such an outrageous thing to say... I didn't think he'd latch on to it!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Viceroy
    Kinda hard to really telll but that’s kinda strange . Idk , maybe he saw physical abuse occur with his parents ?

    I say continue to go out but if you feel you have to walk on egg shells , NEXT.....
    thanks for the advice. that's what I thought... go... see if it's odd and then I'll know.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    Major red flag, good luck with that
    thank you for responding.

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    So he was referring to you as a baby and you threatened to karate chop him in the throat?

    Not sure what he said to you exactly, but if he was insulting you, clearly this was wrong.

    The whole “I’m going to karate chop you in the throat” is a bit much too, even if you were joking.

    If a guy I met online (or in general) said this to me, I’d be cancelling a date too, tbh.

    Sounds super aggressive. And how is someone who barely knows you supposed to interpret this otherwise, you know?

    If I were to say that to a guy, I can’t see them taking it well, either.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Lambert's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    So he was referring to you as a baby and you threatened to karate chop him in the throat?

    Not sure what he said to you exactly, but if he was insulting you, clearly this was wrong.

    The whole “I’m going to karate chop you in the throat” is a bit much too, even if you were joking.

    If a guy I met online (or in general) said this to me, I’d be cancelling a date too, tbh.

    Sounds super aggressive. And how is someone who barely knows you supposed to interpret this otherwise, you know?
    I do see what you're saying and maybe that looked like a red flag to him about me.

    I'm the red flag!

    it was a fast, jokey, text convo... I didn't think and I didn't think he was going be like "hey good luck. I'm out"

    I didn't think he was actually insulting me. I don't know what I was thinking!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I usually say jokes like that to guys and if we get to know each other well, even playful insults. But of course out of context or with someone that doesn't know me well, it can backfire and they might not understand it's a light hearted joke. I think that's what happened. It was a joke but he thought it was serious or maybe he was triggered because abuse is an important issue to him.

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