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Thread: Was fine until ex messaged..

  1. #1
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    Was fine until ex messaged..

    My ex (he broke up with me) messaged me to meet up after few weeks of NC, and I responded but then he cancelled last minute. I'd just started moving on but now I can't stop thinking about it and just feel worse. I'm constantly wondering if it was something I did or said and I just get upset because I don't know why he did it. I don't know why he wanted to meet up and I don't why he decided he didn't want to. I can't tell if it was just a legitimate reason for cancelling or if it was just his way out. Now I'm left with more questions than before and I'm just confused.

    Why did he do that? Has anyone ever messaged to meet up and then changed their mind? I just want to understand... I don't know if I should just bring it up with him directly and ask or just leave it and see what happens... Any advice/opinion on this?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    He had a moment of doubt about the breakup and wanted reassurance that you were still open to dating him if he decided be wanted you back. In my opinion, it was a power move, though he may not have consciously known he just wanted reassurance. I know it's hard, but stick to NC and move forward. Depending on the type of guy your ex is, knowing you're pining away may be just as good as having you.

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    Why did he break up with you? Do you want to get back together with him? Why donít you just ask him why he did that? It does sound like a power move but youíll never know unless you ask him.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this, what was the breakup about? It may be time to delete and block him. Some exes get randy and figure a quick easy solution is sex with an ex under the guise of miss you, lets catch up, etc.
    Originally Posted by rachael260
    My ex (he broke up with me) messaged me to meet up after few weeks of NC, and I responded but then he cancelled last minute.

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    He broke up with me because we started having little arguments in the last month and we were both just really stressed out during that time and he just couldnít handle it anymore I guess. For the most part we were pretty happy together with minimal arguments if any at all.

    About getting back together, I thought I just got to the point where I started to feel indifferent. I think his message got my hopes up, and I guess deep down I still do want to at least try again? I think I also just feel worse because I was the one who just went NC and stopped replying, and it just made me feel stronger and more empowered because it was more on my terms? If that makes any sense... But now that heís cancelled, itís got me wondering more and I feel like that strength just got stripped from me...

  7. #6
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that happened when you were starting to feel good. Just go back to NC and remember how replying made you feel if he reaches out again. At the end of the day, if really doesn't matter who has the "power" after a breakup. It just matters that you move forward and find happiness again.

    Good luck!

  8. #7
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    Block his number so he can't do this to you anymore.

    And any of the excuses you think of for why you "can't" are just that...excuses.

    You CAN, you just need to decide your well being is more important than trying to leave the door open to someone who doesn't mind hurting you.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Sounds like he was baiting you, hoping you'd bite. Either way, I'd block him for my own well being. Otherwise, if he wants to get back together, he'll make that clear without hesitation.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    The one that chooses to end it goes through their own withdrawals.
    Just because he decided to leave doesn't mean it wasn't difficult for him too. He may have a bad day, a weak moment and he reached out.

    He had a moment to think about it and then reconsidered. Though unfair and insensitive to you, it's pretty typical.
    In the meantime block him so he can't do it again.
    As you are learning, the set back isn't worth it.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rachael260
    He broke up with me because we started having little arguments in the last month and we were both just really stressed out during that time and he just couldnít handle it anymore I guess. For the most part we were pretty happy together with minimal arguments if any at all.

    About getting back together, I thought I just got to the point where I started to feel indifferent. I think his message got my hopes up, and I guess deep down I still do want to at least try again? I think I also just feel worse because I was the one who just went NC and stopped replying, and it just made me feel stronger and more empowered because it was more on my terms? If that makes any sense... But now that heís cancelled, itís got me wondering more and I feel like that strength just got stripped from me...
    Why not just block and delete him and do your utmost to change the subject of him when he pops into your thoughts? He broke up with you and if he really wants you back, he'll knock on your door.

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