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Thread: Bf following naked instagram models

  1. #21
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    I agree. In reading your post, itís very clear that this is something that bothers you a lot. I donít think any amount of other people telling you itís ok would change that for you... and really, as others have pointed out, there are plenty of guys that donít do this. I think you are simply incompatible.

    Personally, though - just my own pet peeve - I really hate it when people break up without an explanation (ie: ďwe just arenít compatibleĒ). Itís not helpful? Iím not saying that he should change his behavior for you - but if the next 3,4 or 5 women break up with him for the same reason - maybe itís something heíll want to self-reflect about, yanno? That heís attracted to a certain type of woman with strong boundaries but is doing something to put them off? Maybe it wonít be a problem for him again - but maybe it will. You are depriving him of this information, IMO.

    I would go with option ęCĽ (your two options were to either break up without explanation or tell him why you are upset and give him a chance). I would simply say that youíve thought a lot about his insta followings and itís really something that bothers you to the core. Itís not something that you want to think about or deal with - and there are probably plenty of people that would be ok with that - so you are just going to call it ęincompatibleĽ and move on. He may try to argue the point - but just stick to your guns, be true to yourself and move on.

    ... but Iíd tell him, personally... but only because thereís nothing I hate more than forever wondering...

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    I would find it crass that he's doing it in such a public way. I assume that his other social media contacts can also see who he's following and so on.

    I really don't care if a man is viewing porn or browsing naked ladies discreetly. I would simply find it low-brow for a grown man to be doing so on social media for all to see. Would I tell him to stop? No. He can do what he wants. But I would reevaluate if this is the man for me; I appreciate a guy with more discretion and maturity.

    How old is he, OP?
    I completely agree with this. He can do what he wants but he should do it discreetly. Have a little respect. Let's be realistic. I believe that the majority of men enjoy seeing naked females but, but seriously, don't be so blatant about it. I, personally, would feel like you do. He sounds like he is obsessive. IMHO, I think he's being disrespectful towards you. It also sounds to me that he needs to grow up and consider other people's feelings. I wonder if he is trying to upset you or just doesn't care. Remember, if it bothers you, then enough said. You don't need this stress. In any case, I would get out of this relationship. Three months is not a long time. I wouldn't bother explaining anything. Leave and do yourself a favour.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You said you it wouldn't bother you so much if it was something he did discretely.
    It's the `in your face' part that you seem to get hung up on. That you being aware feels disrespectful

    What if you found out, by having a conversation with him that he had no idea you knew?
    Maybe it would make a difference.
    Maybe it would not.
    But you'll never know unless you speak up about it.

    3 months in and telling someone your values and judging their reaction is a great learning experience.
    Running away is not.

    Besides, he may surprise you.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    I completely agree with this. He can do what he wants but he should do it discreetly. Have a little respect. Let's be realistic. I believe that the majority of men enjoy seeing naked females but, but seriously, don't be so blatant about it. I, personally, would feel like you do. He sounds like he is obsessive. IMHO, I think he's being disrespectful towards you. It also sounds to me that he needs to grow up and consider other people's feelings. I wonder if he is trying to upset you or just doesn't care. Remember, if it bothers you, then enough said. You don't need this stress. In any case, I would get out of this relationship. Three months is not a long time. I wouldn't bother explaining anything. Leave and do yourself a favour.
    He always tells me that he wouldnt do anything to upset me. But clearly he is not aware that what he is doing is disrespectful and upsetting me. Men can say anything to a woman but its their actions which matters. I am not sure now if I should talk or not say anyting and leave with dignity.

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  6. #25
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    OT but I use to follow a bunch of those girls and deleted them all a few days ago. They're all narcissistic attention w****s doing anything for a few likes, its actually pretty sad.

  7. #26
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    I could talk to him but even if he is so understanding and stop what he is doing, he might go back to old habits. Becuse clearly, since he is doing it for 3 months openly, he thinks its normal to follow insta models when in a relationship. And its like an obsession to him. Isnt it?

    And I dont know how should I discuss this topic with him and what to say exactly. I am thinking about asking him if he would be happy if I follwed naked men models who looks completely different from him. How would that make him feel.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Are you going to discuss it with him?
    I am considering it. But I wanna keep my dignity and value. So i dont know what I should say exactly.

    And him texting me today how happy he is that I walked into his life and that he cant imagine his life without me now makes me feel even worse.
    Last edited by sensitivegirl0; 02-07-2019 at 05:48 PM.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    OT but I use to follow a bunch of those girls and deleted them all a few days ago. They're all narcissistic attention w****s doing anything for a few likes, its actually pretty sad.
    I agree with you, but I follow some of these girls, not the naked ones, insta models with good sense of fashion style, or hair styling, girly stuff. But tbh my problem is I believe that I was born and live in a wrong era. I am an old-fashioned girl. I dont know where I got my values from but I have a way of thinking which doesnt help me to find a decent person to have a relationship with.

    For example this guy, he behaves like a very loving, caring, respectful person in person but once I check his social media account, I dont wanna see him. It puts me off. Why? Because to me, following nakes girls once in a relationship with me is wrong. I mean, I regret having such a way of tihnking. But thats just how I am.

    I have tried to adjust myself to fit in, but it doesnt work. I feel left out most times.

  10. #29
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    Thereís no harm in looking.

    Itís when they try to start messaging these models then you should be worried.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sensitivegirl0

    And I dont know how should I discuss this topic with him and what to say exactly. I am thinking about asking him if he would be happy if I follwed naked men models who looks completely different from him. How would that make him feel.
    That sounds a bit passive aggressive.
    How about asking him is he's aware that any one can see his activity and that his level of interest and activity makes you uncomfortable?

    Because I think most guys wouldn't care much if you looked at pictures of men, honestly. Or at least they'd view the situation differently and might not be able to empathize with how you feel about it.

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