Reconnected with old fling who I think I’m love with

I met this guy who is 10 years older than me when I was 18 and he was 28.. he was married at the time and we have mutual friends which is how we met..

We started hanging out as friends and then I started having deep feelings which then I didn’t see him as a married person because I didn’t know his wife and he never mentioned her unless I asked.

Anyway we got caught and it destroyed both of lives since everyone ending up finding out because of his wife. We both lived separate lives for 6 years I had a baby, he got divorced and started a new relationship.

One night I was talking abt him with my best friend and we were looking at his Instagram and i saw what an amazing life he was living unbothered by the result of his affair and me because I was the “other woman” reaped all the turmoil.

I really wanted to know if he was still the same cheating man that didn’t care about anything or anyone so from an empty number I started texting him (he still has the same number he has had for 10 years.... lol)

He responded super intreaged at some mystery woman texting him because he is in fact the same cheating and lying person. (Not judging him just saying it how it is, I have a cheating problem as well)

He wanted to meet after 3 days of texting back and forth without knowing who I was.

We met up, he was shocked, we catches up a little and he ended up kissing me and well now here we are living this affair again.

He’s not married but has a live-in gf and I just started dating a couple of months ago after a 4 year relationship.

Recently we were supposed to spend the day together, he forgot. I texted him in the morning to ask if we were still hanging out and he said we were, didn’t give me a time. When I asked him what time and where he relied until I texted again saying I needed to know so I didn’t make other plans.

He didn’t reply till 10pm saying he could hangout the next day at 6pm. He texted me till 10 again. To which I ignored him and the next day he asked why I was ignoring him, so I said I didn’t want to bother him. He wanted to see me so he came over that night. But I really hurt me that two days in a row he didn’t follow through when this had never happened.

 

I want him to know that I want him for myself but I’m so scared he won’t want to or worse, feel sorry for me.

He’s making really good money now and I wouldn’t want him to think that’s what I see in him because I loved him then and I think I still do now.

Everyone tells me that if he wanted to be with me he would.

But I also feel this strong urge to tell him how I feel and want him to know that this isn’t something just for sex.

I can’t open up to him because I do t want feelings to get stronger than they are now.

But I don’t want to continue hurting myself with someone that is so distant when are having sex.

What’s the way to go about this????

The way to go about this is to break up and stay away from men who are in relationships with other women. This guy was a cheater back then and he is still a cheater. Even if you were to get together, thinking that he would treat you any better is DELUSIONAL Αt best you would end up being cheated on like his ex wife and his current girlfriend.

 

You need to take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. What is it within you that makes it ok to go after a known cheater and help him cheat? What makes you think that is ok to hurt other fellow women like that (not to mention yourself)? You need to stop shooting yourself in the foot. As long as you keep doing that you are going to hurt and it is your own fault. This guy has shown you who he is. You are making informed choices.

You are afraid to ask because you know what the answer is.

Because if a man can easily forget his date with you, he can just as easily forget you.

 

You are afraid to ask him because somewhere deep inside of you knows that if your wish came true you'd tie yourself to someone who has absolutely no regard for the women he commits himself too.

 

This is one of those - be careful what you wish for moments - because after all this is your description of the man you think you are in love with `same cheating man that didn’t care about anything or anyone"

 

The larger question here: Why don't you believe you deserve better?

And what is it about you that doesn't appear to think twice about getting involved with taken men. . even when you yourself are in a relationship of your own? "I have a cheating problem as well"

 

Do you just crave the drama?

As noted above, you really ought to do some serious introspection here. The guy has a proven history of cheating and frankly, is never going to stop for anyone. It's sad but funny that you think you're going to change that. Seems like you're playing with fire.

we catches up a little and he ended up kissing me and well now here we are living this affair again.

Please try to get yourself into a good therapist to help you with your sorely lacking love of self and lack of self-respect.

 

You knew he was in a relationship both times you pursued him. You very well likely have serious fear of commitment issues as well as you keep putting yourself in the eye shot of men who are NOT AVAILABLE to be with you so you find them safe.

 

This man does not love you and even if he did, how could you ever trust his cheating arse whenever he was out of Your eyesight? He is a chronic and pre-meditated cheater who preys on insecure and emotionally vulnerable/troubled women like yourself.

 

Time to get real and get the guidance you need to overcome the issues that are leading you down paths of emotional destruction. Time to get help with nurturing your inner child. What was your childhood like?

Why were you hurt? You're just a side piece and you know it. He owes you nothing. And if he can't even respect his girlfriend then why would he respect his mistress?

 

I hope you're at least using condom,.at least protect your boyfriend.

 

You might get him "to yourself" eventually but then don't complain when he also cheats on you the same way he cheated on his wife and how his girlfriend. Don't create illusions that you're more special than the other 2 poor women and that it won't happen to you. You're not.

 

You could seriously benefit from therapy.

Why enter round two of being the other woman? What's in that for you?

I didn’t see him as a married person

 

He’s not married but has a live-in gf

Why would he let you have him all to yourself when he can keep you as a booty call whenever he wants?

You are no better than he is, quite honestly. you knew he was married, bust justified it because "he didn't talk about her unless i asked". Now he has a live in girlfriend and you don't care about stabbing yet another woman in the back? I agree, you need therapy. And cut all ties with him. he will never be faithful to you. and where is the father of your baby? Or if you don't care about him, how about focusing on your child and not bringing random men into their life?