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Thread: I want to break up, but my girlfriend is depressed. Pease help.

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by r350
    Iím speaking to her about it now and she just keeps saying ĎIíve made my position clear, I want to try to make it work, but if you donít, then you need move out and help me move oní.
    Listen to her.

    I get that you don't want to cause her pain, but there's really no way around that when a break-up isn't mutual. Living under the same roof when you no longer want to be together is ultimately going to hurt her more, so you do need to start planning where to go and how this move will carry itself out logistically.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by r350
    Iím speaking to her about it now and she just keeps saying ĎIíve made my position clear, I want to try to make it work, but if you donít, then you need move out and help me move oní.
    Well, there you go. If ever there was a clear answer, it's this one. You DON'T want to work it out anymore, you don't want this relationship anymore, so move out.
    If you stay, that's on YOU. Do not blame it on her depression. She's pretty much given you the go ahead to leave. Now leave.

  3. #13
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    YOu must end this for both of your sakes. If you stay with her out of pity or guilt it will destroy her even more further down the line than it would now. You know what you have to do.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Negotiate to feel better. Nobody says you 'must' take any furnishings that you could otherwise leave for her, and you can supplement her rent for a month or two. From there, the rest is on her. She's an adult, she can get treatment, she can find more suitable living arrangements--that's the stuff that's on each of us regardless of who breaks up with us.

    Head high, and don't talk yourself into believing your own spin on unnecessary barriers to freedom.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, sounds fair. Move out (but it's her job to "move on"). You've got 30 days to move out now that she's given you notice. Start working on that. Sever whatever financial ties and start looking for places.
    Originally Posted by r350
    she just keeps saying ĎIíve made my position clear, I want to try to make it work, but if you donít, then you need move out

  7. #16
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    Yeah. Itís just so hard man. I think itís because down the years Iíve been accustomed to being the dumpee, as opposed to the dumper, so to speak.

    To completely sever, is leaving me with a huge conscience, sheís even asking me to come for a walk with her, if she can cook for me, if we can talk about things - all to attempt to salvage whatís left. Which multiplies my guilt ten fold.

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