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Thread: Nearly a year single

  1. #1
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    Nearly a year single

    So I'm in a bit of a reflective mood tonight. It is nearly a full year that I have been single. I am happy enough with my life, which is full of kids, dogs and work. But I just realised that this is the longest time I have been single since I was 19 .... nearly 30 years ago !!! That feels pretty freaky to say the least.

    The last relationship was one of the shortest but for some reason I'm still not over it. I don't understand why. I just don't get why this time I have been so badly effected. My friends keep telling me to snap out of it and go have some fun. But I can't do it, I just can't drum up enough enthusiasm to be bothered with anyone else. But on the other side I would hate to think I will never be with someone ever again. I just don't know how long this feeling will sit with me or how to get ride of it.

    It does seem a bit rediculous to take over a year to recover from a 6 mth relationship ? !!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Well, yes and no.

    Sometimes, short but intense relationships can have that affect.

    Sometimes it's not so much the relationship you lost, but the pain that relationship was masking.

    Like, if you were in a meh state when you first met the person, then the relationship bloomed and made everything seem sunny, it will seem all the more dark when that relationship goes away.

    Maybe there were some issues that you hadn't fully worked out, and this relationship sort of disrupted things for you.

    Maybe you need this time to yourself so that you can be happy with someone again.

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    Hi Jibralta,

    Thanks for your reply. I think you may be right, very well put. I have a real habit of blaming myself for everything. In the second last relationship I made a lot of mistakes and I should never have let it go on so long. And I'm still kicking myslef for that ....

    Thanks you have given me something to think about.

    Caroline

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you are enjoying your freedom and freedom from all the drama of an intense, yet insane 6 mo. relationship. It's not about 'not being over her", is about a breath of fresh air and reflection after all that.

    It's understandable you may be a little gun-shy for a while, but when you feel ready you'll know and start putting your feelers out again. In fact this post in itself means you've been pondering it.
    Originally Posted by Scotty123
    It is nearly a full year that I have been single. I am happy enough with my life, which is full of kids, dogs and work.

    The last relationship was one of the shortest but for some reason I'm still not over it. I just can't drum up enough enthusiasm to be bothered with anyone else. But on the other side I would hate to think I will never be with someone ever again.

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