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Thread: I canít tell if sheís leading me on or actually interested

  1. #1
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    I canít tell if sheís leading me on or actually interested

    I met this girl a month ago. Since then we have made an actual connection I feel. But Im unsure. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesnít feel pretty and that she realizes Iím not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do. So, Iíve been trying telling her I pretty she is etc. we sometimes talk about the future and our intentions towards eachother. Her intentions seem to change sometimes. But she likes to make jokes about a future between us.
    From the moment I met her she has been open about her attraction to me. About a week ago she told me she liked me and I said the same. We make plans to see eachother but it doesnít happen as much as we plan. Most of these plans are her ideas and she falls through on them. We have plans this week but Iím not sure if itís going to happen. We Had plans last week and they fell apart but we did meet on Wednesday and we made out a little and touched etc. it seems like she likes me. She says it. She acts like she does. But it confuses me when she makes plans and cancels them. I told her I like women who are straightforward and she has been. I want to be the guy she wants the one who brings her flowers just cause and show her how much she matters. But Iím scared she might be playing me and I donít want to be a fool... again. What should I do?

  2. #2
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    walk. leave.
    she's not interested. she's playing with you.

  3. #3
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    Why don't you speak to her and ask her?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by unattached
    I met this girl a month ago. Since then we have made an actual connection I feel. But Im unsure. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesnít feel pretty and that she realizes Iím not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do. So, Iíve been trying telling her I pretty she is etc. we sometimes talk about the future and our intentions towards eachother. Her intentions seem to change sometimes. But she likes to make jokes about a future between us.
    From the moment I met her she has been open about her attraction to me. About a week ago she told me she liked me and I said the same. We make plans to see eachother but it doesnít happen as much as we plan. Most of these plans are her ideas and she falls through on them. We have plans this week but Iím not sure if itís going to happen. We Had plans last week and they fell apart but we did meet on Wednesday and we made out a little and touched etc. it seems like she likes me. She says it. She acts like she does. But it confuses me when she makes plans and cancels them. I told her I like women who are straightforward and she has been. I want to be the guy she wants the one who brings her flowers just cause and show her how much she matters. But Iím scared she might be playing me and I donít want to be a fool... again. What should I do?
    Don't buy her flowers until you are sure that she as into you as you appear to be into her. Why don't YOU make a plan with a place a time and a date and if she doesn't accept or she cancels on you again after you've done that then just next her, she's a flake that you don't want to get yourself shredded over.

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  6. #5
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    I would speak to her. There might be reasons you don't know about, yes it doesn't look like she is interested but give her a chance to explain herself then move away if you don't like what you hear.

  7. #6
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    I like ThatwasThenís advice. Take the initiative and schedule a date. If she cancels, move on.

    If she approaches you after the fact, thatís if she flakes, tell youíre only interested in dating women who follow through on scheduled plans.

    Sheís wasting your precious time when she cancels - No one has time for that. I wouldnít have the patience to deal with someone who doesnít respect my time by constantly cancelling/flaking.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    What have been the reasons she has bailed on the plans? Good reasons: teacher or professor assigned unexpected work that now needs to be completed. Shift changed at work. Sick, or helping out someone in an emergency.

    Bad reasons: Decided to do something with other friends. Just doesn't feel like it. Doesn't give a reason.

    Her asking you to tell her she's pretty seems to be a bit premature. You've only known her 30 days. She's not your gf. It's okay to tell a partner the things that make you happy, but she's not your partner and so it could be a red flag that she's expecting so much so soon from you.

    It's also a bit premature to speak of the future until you have passed the honeymoon stage, which usually doesn't end until the 4-6 month mark, if the relationship even lasts that long.

    Have some standards and make sure you're satisfied more than frustrated when dating someone.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you dating? Or does she just want you to compliment her constantly while she flakes and cancels dates you try to set up? It sounds like she has a bf/is dating others and you are sort of in the friendzone and backup zone if her plan A falls through.

    Don't waste more time on this. Start talking to and dating other girls. She's stringing you along.
    Originally Posted by unattached
    I met this girl a month ago. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesnít feel pretty and that she realizes Iím not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do.

    We make plans to see eachother but it doesnít happen as much as we plan.

  10. #9
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    If their is a genuine reason for the cancellation of dates I would give her the benefit of the doubt... Although only a month and it seems like frequent bailing of a date. That is not the best impression.

    Personally I would make time to see someone I was interested in. Not cancel last minute. So could be she is not interested.

    Also there is some issues there with her own confidence in her self. As she wants you to constantly tell her how pretty she is. This is her own self esteem issues. It's not your job to make her feel pretty. Yes compliments are nice but you aren't giving them out so she feels the need to ask you. Not really normal behaviour.

    Some people aren't compliment givers. Doesn't mean you don't appreciate her beauty it is just the way you are. I'm the same. I'm awfully shy with giving and receiving compliments but I find other cute ways to signal my interest to my date. So don't change who you are because she has told you to change!

    Talk to her as you have nothing to lose. But just from what you are saying she really isn't worth your time. Lucky you've seen this only in the first month of dating.

  11. #10
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    Ok. I made plans with her. In a couple of days. It was her idea before I got a chance. She said she misses me. I hope she doesnít cancel

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