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Thread: to breakup or not to break up?

  1. #1

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    to breakup or not to break up?

    Hi, this is going to be a long one. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. We met each other through a mutual friend. I've known this mutual friend for almost a year so we are pretty close. We see each other almost everyday and my boyfriend is becoming very insecure of it. He wants me to stop meeting up with the mutual friend. He would even get mad if he sees me texting him. I only see my mutual friend as a friend and nothing more and I'm sure he feels the same. However, that's not how my boyfriend sees it. He also have a bunch of girl friends that he hangs out with all the time which I don't mind a single bit. But to him it's different I hang out with guys. I honestly don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend, I really do, but the distrust that he has towards me is really making me upset. I don't want to break up with him, but I can't stay with him either if he's not going to trust me. Please help me decide what to do!

  2. #2
    Gold Member SGH's Avatar
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    Double standards in relationships are bad news. If you have never had a sexual or romantic relationship with your mutual friend, your current boyfriend doesn't get to tell you to stop hanging out with him. Even if you had in the past, I would personally find it controlling and feel like my partner didn't trust me. It sounds like you're looking for support to end it. I'm in favor.

    Oh, and often when people act controlling and insecure it is a sign their behavior is not entirely appropriate. I wouldn't be surprised if he had feelings for one of his girl "friends" and that's why he's uncomfortable.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Whenever a brand new lover like this comes on the scene and starts making demands about who you can and can't text, see or have as a friend it's a red flag and time to cut and run. Do some homework on "signs of controlling relationships" Google it Now.
    Originally Posted by sec
    He wants me to stop meeting up with the mutual friend. He would even get mad if he sees me texting him. the distrust that he has towards me is really making me upset.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sec
    Hi, this is going to be a long one. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. We met each other through a mutual friend. I've known this mutual friend for almost a year so we are pretty close. We see each other almost everyday and my boyfriend is becoming very insecure of it. He wants me to stop meeting up with the mutual friend. He would even get mad if he sees me texting him. I only see my mutual friend as a friend and nothing more and I'm sure he feels the same. However, that's not how my boyfriend sees it. He also have a bunch of girl friends that he hangs out with all the time which I don't mind a single bit. But to him it's different I hang out with guys. I honestly don't know what to do. I love my boyfriend, I really do, but the distrust that he has towards me is really making me upset. I don't want to break up with him, but I can't stay with him either if he's not going to trust me. Please help me decide what to do!
    When you're in a committed romantic relationship then the dynamic should change regarding your opposite sex friendships. Hanging out one on one doing date like activities with an opposite sex friend is (IMO) very inappropriate and disrespectful to your partner. It is NOT a red flag for a partner to want you to respect the relationship you two share and to stop acting single (by going on one on one date like activities without your partner).

    I think you should break up with him if you don't "get" that.

    When he hangs out with his female friends is it in a group or just him and another girl? If its him one on one with one of them then it is a double standard. If he's only seeing them as a group then it is not.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    unfortunately, this is scratching the surface.
    if he is telling you to cut off from the person that INTRODUCED you 2 (whom is HIS friend too) - this is unhealthy and a horrible sign. ESPECIALLY when he sets a different set of rules for himself.

    Cut bait.
    Keep the friend.

    This person has NO RIGHT to order you around especially when you've known your friend longer than you've known the bf.

    he's bad news.


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