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Thread: I really need help knowing what to do

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by SBxx
    Ok, thank you! Is that an actual book or is that a bit of a dig?
    It's a very well-known book.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member
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    OP sorry but you are wasting time and mental energy on someone who is showing you crystal-clearly that he isn't into you at all. It isn't anything you have or haven't done and it isn't that he has a lot on his plate. When a bloke wants you he will make it clear to you, there'll be no doubt in your mind and he will make time.

  3. #13

    Join Date
    Feb 2019
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    Thank you so much! I honestly appreciate you helping me! I sound like a psycho but Im honestly not, I just like this guy and am confuesd as to why it hasnt worked out - we get on so well and are both attracted to each other. I think its time to move on though - you're right.

  4. #14

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    Feb 2019
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    I have orderd the book off ebay :)

  5.  

  6. #15
    Bronze Member
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    Dec 2009
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    It is hard to move on but you will thank your self in the future for it. You can waste your best years on men like this, you deserve better.

  7. #16

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    Feb 2019
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    Ahh thank you :) I just keep thinking its because he gone through so much and has a lot on his plate. I have felt like i need to be patient with him but i think enough is enough now. Its awful as everyione i meet seems to do the same thing to me, men always disapear on me. I am not a needy person at all and 100% dont come across like it to men. Its horrible to think i will never find someone :(

  8. #17
    Bronze Member
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    Dec 2009
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    I've had loads of flakey men in my time, wasted years with one of them hoping for improvement and nothing came. Cut loose while you are ahead and leave the space for someone better to come in. I don't know why men are so flakey these days, I think there is lots of fear around it. Online dating etc. means there is always the next one and options, some men don't want to make the effort to even find out if they could have something with you.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
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    Originally Posted by SBxx

    Basically i met a guy in 2017 and we had a couple of dates, he went pretty distant on me after the second date so i sent him a message saying 'you're clearly not interested blah blah' he messaged back saying he is sorry he hasnt been in touch he found out his ex (his daughters mum) was diagnosed with cancer.
    Your mistake was not aborting this mission after this^ happened.

    When a man goes quiet, disappears after second date, you don't chase him down with "clearly you're not interested" blah blah, you let him disappear and move on.

    IF he were into you, and his ex really was just diagnosed with cancer, he would have told you, not just disappeared.

    But you pushed on, basically chasing him, and it all went downhill from there, with him continuing to flake, using his family as excuses so you couldn't get pissed at him. It's classic.

    So he flakes on dates, doesn't even have the decency to contact you, you chase him down, asking if you're still on, he has yet another excuse, rinse, repeat. Arghh!

    Please stop doing that!!

    Let him flake and just move on.

    This guy was not "too busy" or had "a lot on his plate."

    His excuses were just that, excuses.

    He's not into you, period the end.

    May have commitment issues as well, but who cares, he's a flake!

    Lesson learned for next time.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 02-04-2019 at 12:11 PM.

  10. #19

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    Feb 2019
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    Reading all your replies is making me see sense! Thank you so much

  11. #20
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SBxx
    I have orderd the book off ebay :)
    It's an awesome book and a really easy read... and pretty darn accurate if you ask me! When I follow the advice in the book and pay attention to the cues objectively I can tell pretty much right away whether someone is interested in dating me or not.

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