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Thread: Boyfriend has anger issues

  1. #11
    Gold Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Vikki Blue
    I have been dating a guy for a year and every so often he flips and gets aggressive for no reason. Mostly alcohol is involved and he is verbally aggressive and sometimes shows physical aggression. My question is can this problem ever go away despite him promising it won’t happen again. We have currently broken up but I feel deep down that he wants to change and I want to help him. Would u give up on him. Hes 44. Never been married.
    Since he's 44 not 24, I would say that the behavior is pretty entrenched at this point. Promises mean nothing unless they are backed up by action... this means doing the necessary steps to stop drinking, get help, etc.

    You do not have the power to help him with this. He needs to help himself.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Sportster2005
    I wouldn't give up on him, but I wouldn't be a partner with him.

    Unless he, and only he seeks professional help, I doubt there will be any change. People can and do overcome anger and alcohol. But you can't do it for him. And you can only help from a distance, if you choose to help at all. You might want to seek out Al-Anon if alcohol was frequently involved. They can provide the most knowledgeable answers.
    I *would* give up on him. I would look after myself by walking away. If he does seek real change and i ran into him in a couple years and he has changed his life, that's another matter. I would find a man to date that is not an alcoholic and does not get physically and verbally aggressive with his significant other. There are many out there.

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