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Friends, I never knew about.


Sunshiner

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Hi, I started dating a guy 7 years ago but I broke it off after almost 4 years as I felt I needed to find myself. For 3 years hes been my friend with an intention to win me back.

I found out 7 years later he had 2 female friends I've never even heard mentioned once, yet he always had to know or meet my friends. Apparently hes know them for many years before i came along...He says there's nothing sinister about it yet I feel I can't trust a man who lies hides things, and for that long.

He trays to make me feel like I'm over reacting, plays it down by saying ..but I love u..

As I feel a bit low, I rely on his friendship but I feel he doesn't deserve me.

What's your take on this please?

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You sound like a real keeper. I can't understand why you feel he needs to explain himself to you. You broke it off with him. He owes you nothing. You owe it to the both of you to cut contact with him for both your sakes. This sounds messed up.

 

You want to keep him as a friend knowing for some reason he wants you back for 3 years but he doesn't deserve you but sometimes you feel low so this gives you some right to mess in his life?

 

Re-read your post and have a word with yourself.

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Why doesn't he deserve you? What was the breakup about? You dumped him to find yourself. He can have whatever female friends he wants and he doesn't have to disclose anything to you.. It's bad form and foolish for you to be friends and string him along. If you are still finding yourself and have no intention of reconciliation you need to stop communicating and move on. You need to stop using and controlling people.

I started dating a guy 7 years ago but I broke it off after almost 4 years as I felt I needed to find myself.

 

For 3 years hes been my friend with an intention to win me back. I rely on his friendship but I feel he doesn't deserve me.

What's your take on this please?

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Wow.. so your dating someone 4 years and you've never heard of these 2 friends he keeps in touch with and you all think I have something wrong with my thinking.. hope it happens to you 1 day. U may get how I felt. I seriously WOULDNT TRUST A GUY LIKE THIS.. I have cut him off but he insists on us staying friends.

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Did you read the post properly.. I dated him 4 years but never knew of these people. I hope that happens to you n your OK with it. 4 yrs... I'm honest enough to be completely open about my friendships.

Wow...

 

But if you're not dating him NOW and you're just friends so why do you care about his female friends? It doesn't matter now.

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Wow.. so your dating someone 4 years and you've never heard of these 2 friends he keeps in touch with and you all think I have something wrong with my thinking.. hope it happens to you 1 day. U may get how I felt. I seriously WOULDNT TRUST A GUY LIKE THIS.. I have cut him off but he insists on us staying friends.

 

So cut him off. You two are not on the same page and no contact is the best way for him to move on from you and stop wanting a relationship with him. I presume that's what you want, that he moves on.

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What people are trying to say is, why are you bothered now? It’s ok to be bothered when you’re dating someone but now you’re not dating so you shouldn’t be bothered. He is allowed to be friends with whoever he wants. You seem to have some unfinished business with this person because you are letting this bother you. If you don’t want to be with him, it’s best to cut him off, at least for now. Let him find someone else who really wants to be with him. In terms of him wanting to stay friends, you can easily stop texting him, stop answering his calls, stop looking at his social media, if you really want to.

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