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Thread: Long Distance Boyfriend Gone With Almost No Warning

  1. #11
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    We met two years ago and became friends but had no desire to meet necessarily because it was just an online friendship. Fast forward, we didnít talk for a good chunk of those two years until past few months and he mentioned meeting when he could take a vacation from work.

    When he realized that weíre actually only about 5 hours away (and he typically drives 11+ hours for work) he mentioned itíd be pretty easy for him to come see me a few weekends out of the month instead of only once during his vacation time.

    He suggested March since he would have to drive through the mountains to get here and the weather has been terrible there for him and not the best for me either. We havenít talked about meeting in a while though. No need to since itís not something we would be able to safely do now because of snow and stuff.

    But yeah we never thought about meeting since we were just friends back then, plus a good bit of time of not talking just because we both got busy and parted ways naturally.


    The only glimmer of hope I have right now is the fact that the day this happened was the day he was headed home from work. And he only has a day and a half at best off. And usually Fridays he sleeps almost all day since his hours are so demanding and saturdays he catches up on all of his errands he missed throughout his work week. And usually because of that we talk a little less on those two days.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Aren't there other ways of travelling there like taking a plane? I don't know, him (and you) don't seem to be that interested in meeting in person. But yes, I'd wait a few days to see if he says something. If not, it's better to move on and date local.

  3. #13
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    The part that is fishy is him saying his family and friends received phone calls from someone but it wasnít him. That might only happen if someone stole his phone, not if his account was hacked. What account by the way? He says heís going to ďchange every account he hasĒ? I just feel like if something gets hacked, itís one thing- your FB, or maybe email, but this just sounds rather fishy and suspicious. He sounds like heís lying. Sorry to say. Find someone who wants to meet you in person. And donít take money from strange people.

  4. #14
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    I didnít mention this but maybe it matters. He hasnít been in contact with anyone. Not just me. Not even his closest friends on the app we talk on.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like he never had an intention to meet and since the subject was brought up about doing so in March, he needed to come up with this story to disappear. Again, get tech savvy friends to find out what's really going on. 2 years of talking online and never meeting?
    Originally Posted by ClaireDarling
    had no desire to meet necessarily because it was just an online friendship.

    we didnít talk for a good chunk of those two years until past few months and he mentioned meetingHe suggested March.

    he realized that weíre actually only about 5 hours away

  7. #16
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    Ok - Iím totally jumping to conclusions - but the conclusion I jump to is that he has a girlfriend.

    When your accounts get hacked, you donít delete them all, you change your password. Hackers are not interested in calling your friends and family (lol!). Crazed girlfriends are... Itís also totally weird (and convenient?) that you donít talk to him much on Fridays and Saturdays? These are typical date nights. And his reason is that he is sleeping? For 24 hours? And doing groceries?

    I know Iím kind of making up stories - but it would make more sense to me if that night you were texting him a bunch, his girlfriend figured it out, so he texted you something unintelligible to make you stop and go away. And now heís changing/closing his accounts because sheís losing her mind.

    It takes longer to call a phone provider to change your phone number than it does to setup a new online account... just saying...

    Long distance stuff is hard. Especially if youíve never met them in person. Iím sorry to say... but I donít think you know this guy as well as you think you know him.

    ... I know all the above are guesses - and you can ignore it if you want... but IMO, my story makes much more sense than the story heís feeding you. What heís saying doesnít make sense. If he wanted to be in touch, heíd find a way...

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How did he send you money? Did you send him account information for a deposit? If so, have you checked that account recently?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    Ok - Iím totally jumping to conclusions - but the conclusion I jump to is that he has a girlfriend.

    When your accounts get hacked, you donít delete them all, you change your password. Hackers are not interested in calling your friends and family (lol!). Crazed girlfriends are... Itís also totally weird (and convenient?) that you donít talk to him much on Fridays and Saturdays? These are typical date nights. And his reason is that he is sleeping? For 24 hours? And doing groceries?

    I know Iím kind of making up stories - but it would make more sense to me if that night you were texting him a bunch, his girlfriend figured it out, so he texted you something unintelligible to make you stop and go away. And now heís changing/closing his accounts because sheís losing her mind.

    It takes longer to call a phone provider to change your phone number than it does to setup a new online account... just saying...

    Long distance stuff is hard. Especially if youíve never met them in person. Iím sorry to say... but I donít think you know this guy as well as you think you know him.

    ... I know all the above are guesses - and you can ignore it if you want... but IMO, my story makes much more sense than the story heís feeding you. What heís saying doesnít make sense. If he wanted to be in touch, heíd find a way...
    This might just be speculation but makes sense. Also, I find it weird that just 5 hours distance and never meeting in 2 years and deciding to be boyfriend and girlfriend without ever having met and not seeming to have any urgency in meeting and now this disappearance and the number calling friends and family. It screams red flags every where.. Maybe he just used that telephone number on the OP and other cyber affairs and as soon as the girlfriend/wife found out, he had to deactivate the number. Also if he has a wife she might have found out his money transactions to the OP. Just speculating but as I said, lots of red flags here.

  10. #19
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    ClareDarling: Bring the focus of your attention back to yourself rather than speculating on what is going on with this guy.

    Is this relationship the sort of relationship you would like to have? A guy who is physically far away, who has a work schedule that makes communication difficult and who poofs without explanation or provides a justification so hard to believe you have to recruit the aid of friends to check it out for verification. Seeing as you have not even met him in person yet, this isn't a relationship, it is possibly a potential relationship at best. But the odds of it turning into something worthwhile are slim based on how he has presented so far.

    I'd say, set the bar higher for what you require from a bf and go out there and find a guy who meets or exceeds your expectations. A guy who is worthy does not give you the chance to doubt him, wonder where he is or what has happened to him. Go find a guy like that.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    When we are feeling as if we are constantly in a state of recovery, we often find ourselves attaching to people whom we normally would reject - wouldn't even know exist.

    One of the hardest lessons in life is that there is no shortcut, no bail out. The hill that we see ahead - that hill was made by us and for us. We HAVE to climb it.

    Go climb your hill, girl. The view gets better with every step.

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