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Thread: Army

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014


    My boyfriend of 4 and a half years recently left to go to army training, he had been waiting two years to get it and when he finally went I kind of accepted my fate of this ‘life’. The first 6 weeks were hard as there were hardly any contact and we wasn’t allowed to see each other, but now he can come home at weekends which is better but still hard to watch him go back every Sunday. He is finding it hard being there, he is missing home and missing me (surprisingly lol), I knew that he was having a hard week this week as he told me he was feeling like he wanted to leave, and although I never thought I would hear myself saying this, I want him to stay, I know that if he is unhappy then it is his life and he has got to do what is best for him, but I don’t want us to go back to how our life was together before he went, and he knows this. He gets babied by his parents, and him going I thought would help him grow up (he’s 27), but now he is worried it is too late, he is worried about missing family key events in life. When he came home this weekend he informed me he handed his letter to leave last week, meaning he had lied all week to me about it. From things in our past I find it hard to trust him 100% and then he continuously lies, so now here I am, scared about him coming home and I don’t know what to do or feel. I love him so much it is untrue, but I know he will regret it massively if he comes out and I know it will put a massive strain on our relationship.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    How was your life together before he left? Why would his return "put a massive strain on the relationship"? Does he live with his parents? Does he work?

    You can't do anything about him or his decisions or whatever the personal fallout from that is.. You also can't fix him. All you can do is end things if he is a liar or has no direction or is spoiled.
    Originally Posted by sophielsx
    I don’t want us to go back to how our life was together before he went
    He gets babied by his parents. he’s 27
    he handed his letter to leave last week
    From things in our past I find it hard to trust him 100% and then he continuously lies
    I know it will put a massive strain on our relationship.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    central Florida
    Sounds like your relationship isn't that great. Love is only one element of choosing a lifetime partner wisely. You should have a must-have list and a dealbreaker list and use it to pick a long term partner. You say he surprisingly missed you? Doesn't sound like good bf material. So he hasn't established a career by now, and bails at the challenge in the military after less than 2 months? Sounds like you will be the breadwinner if you got married, and without the niceties of vacations, etc., because he won't be an equal contributor.

    Don't settle when it comes to one of the most important decisions of your life.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    I joined the wrong Army if wherever you are you get weekend leave after six weeks of training.

    While lying obviously isn't cool, he's also kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place if his lady of 4.5 years is bucking against him wanting to get out on a multi-year commitment he'd lose a big chunk of his liberty and be miserable during. It's not exactly the same as your partner getting a job and expecting them to suck it up while they send out applications and get a new one. Though I can't speak to whatever other lies you're referring to.

    If you'd care to provide insight on your actual relationship, we can probably help you more. I think you've chosen the wrong detail to expound on here.


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