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Thread: Dealing with dominant people? (Continuing from previous thread)

  1. #1
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    Dealing with dominant people? (Continuing from previous thread)

    So, this woman has decided to move (yeay!) (shes going to her families in another state) but she was messaging, saying she is leaving and that she has no money and is struggling here. I wished her well and said I hope she would find somewhere she is happy as she wasn't happy here.

    She then messaged basically stating she has no friends no job etc and that it is my fault! I was like ?? ?? ?? but did not reply to that message.

    She turns up at the gym and I ignored her, just getting on with my routine, then she starts acting like a dominant alpha ape or dog, being over the top nice and making sure to get in with all conversations etc after the gym session when we have coffee. I just up n went because I had work.

    Its a shame but im going to stop socializing after gym till she leaves. The poor woman she doesn't like who is doing 10km round trip to pick her up and drop her off said its a shame we have fallen out and has tried to make me speak to her as she is 'lonely' but after these messages, no way. I wish this woman knew what had been said about her numerous times but i decided it would cause unnecessary hurt if she is leaving next week.

    I find it weird how shes started being very dominating by being overly nice now, like to staff members she says she hates or are bullies, then to that woman. Its just weird.

    Luckily its coming to an end very soon!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Take the high road and dont get into conversations with others about this woman. Rejoice in the news that she is moving, and soon!

  3. #3
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    You are putting too much energy into this. You have created a lot of threads on her. Do you allow all annoying people to get to you in this manner?

    Block, delete and ignore her.

  4. #4
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    No, I do not. However, this is a unique situation I have not come across before. So... I reached out for advice on this forum :)

    Its a forum where people come with allsorts of unique situations, so this is why I post here. I know its a lot of energy, I was more interested in how people deal with dominant displays.

    I suffer from anxiety and OCD, so I find these situations difficult to deal with, so its interesting to see others viewpoints and perspectives on things :)

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    OP, there is no need to start a new thread when you continue on from another one. Please stay within the same thread if it's a continuation. Thanks.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by jellybean2018
    No, I do not. However, this is a unique situation I have not come across before. So... I reached out for advice on this forum :)

    Its a forum where people come with allsorts of unique situations, so this is why I post here. I know its a lot of energy, I was more interested in how people deal with dominant displays.

    I suffer from anxiety and OCD, so I find these situations difficult to deal with, so its interesting to see others viewpoints and perspectives on things :)
    I did not realize that you suffered from OCD and anxiety. I now understand.

    Can't you block and ignore this woman?

  8. #7
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    I could @hollyj but I feel mean in doing so, she is leaving soon. Its also a small community here in canada... so its tricky as I don't want to come across as a biatch!

    I love my time, as its good for my mental health and feel I cannot go because of the stress it is causing.

    She just sent a really long message after ignoring her saying its my fault shes leaving, basically saying mean things about me and saying im mean etc, saying I was her only friend and I said I would give her lifts then turned my back on her, then asking me if i want to meet up and if i value the friendship i would.

    I think I will take solace in my home gym till this storm passes :)

    I havent replied to the messages the past few days.

    I wonder why folk are like this :(

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's very clear she's a manipulator. Much better boundaries are your only recourse. Including delete and block as well as avoidance and quick departure if she nears you. You should not be encouraging her by having coffee with her.
    Originally Posted by jellybean2018
    making sure to get in with all conversations etc after the gym session when we have coffee.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by jellybean2018
    I could @hollyj but I feel mean in doing so, she is leaving soon. Its also a small community here in canada... so its tricky as I don't want to come across as a biatch!

    I love my time, as its good for my mental health and feel I cannot go because of the stress it is causing.

    She just sent a really long message after ignoring her saying its my fault shes leaving, basically saying mean things about me and saying im mean etc, saying I was her only friend and I said I would give her lifts then turned my back on her, then asking me if i want to meet up and if i value the friendship i would.

    I think I will take solace in my home gym till this storm passes :)

    I havent replied to the messages the past few days.

    I wonder why folk are like this :(
    She is manipulative and this is why she has no friends. That is why I was suggesting you block and delete, just as everyone else has. Time to look after yourself and time to establish boundaries and cut it off! Block and delete.

    You have no one else to blame by continuing contact- Don't care if it is a small town. You are purposely allowing and engaging in drama.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 02-28-2019 at 10:14 AM.

  11. #10
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    You are choosing to continue to subject yourself to her abusive texts by refusing to block her.

    What are you getting out of this? You want this to continue but for the life of me I don't understand why.

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