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Thread: Friend Wants Me to Babysit

  1. #1
    Member shygirl1986's Avatar
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    Friend Wants Me to Babysit

    My close friend is a single mom and she has a boyfriend but not a lot of friends. She has a four year old daughter with whom she's always around. She works in a daycare and she brings her daughter to work with her even though she's in a different room. Her daughter is a bit of a handful because well, she's a young kid and my friend doesn't like saying no to her.

    Recently I helped her out with her daughter's birthday. The past week she's been kind of distant and then she texts me yesterday asking me if I can babysit her daughter on Monday now that I'm not working because she has to take the day off from work and run some errands. I told her I might start my new job on Monday (which I might) because I'm on call for any staff absences. I think as her friend she expects I should give her a break and babysit her daughter once in awhile. I do work with children and I feel like I should be babysitting her friend's daughter but I'm tired on the weekends and I like my time off. I wouldn't mind it if her child was a bit more low key but she's a very energetic child. If I did babysit her, the child would be following my rules and it would be on a weekend when I'm not doing anything. I'd probably do fun stuff with her but I wouldn't let her do everything her mom does.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    What did she say when you said no? Unless she's pitching a fit, I'd try not to look too deep into her having simply asked.

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    Not your child or obligation. What about her family?

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    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I feel like I should be babysitting her friend's daughter but I'm tired
    Why the 'should'? Your time is your own, and it's not open for debate with anyone else. "I'm not available for private babysitting...." is all you ever need to say. Someone else's assumptions about your private time are irrelevant, and anyone you'd want to keep in your life as a friend wouldn't impose those.

    Skip her, and make better friends.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Learning how to say no is an important skill in life when you'd rather not be doing something. Just because someone is your friend, doesn't mean you're obligated to babysit. It'd be a different story if it was an emergency, because a good friend would help in those situations.

    Be honest. If you lose her as a friend because of that, she's not as good a friend as you thought.

  7. #6
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    It sounds like this would not be a good gig for you so all you need to say is "sorry, I can't help you out with babysitting" If you want to be kind maybe refer her to some good sitters you know?

  8. #7
    Member shygirl1986's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    What did she say when you said no? Unless she's pitching a fit, I'd try not to look too deep into her having simply asked.
    She kind of acts distant and doesn't talk to me too much as if I should be offering to babysit once in awhile which I probably should be.

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    Member shygirl1986's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Not your child or obligation. What about her family?
    I think she doesn't want to ask her parents to babysit because they're her parents who are getting older and she feels bad. Also, her parents are more quiet and strict. They're not into the whole babysitting thing.

  10. #9
    Member shygirl1986's Avatar
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    I guess I fell as if I should be babysitting once in awhile for her since I work with children as a profession. I don't know, I don't mind but not if it comes to work or plans.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shygirl1986
    She kind of acts distant and doesn't talk to me too much as if I should be offering to babysit once in awhile which I probably should be.
    I'd quit 'shoulding' all over yourself. You're entitled to define your relationships and your private time.

    A 'no babysitting' policy is fine and reasonable. Don't befriend people who impose their expectations on you, because that's not the behavior of a friend, it's the behavior of a user.

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