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Thread: Should I meet him? Am I being played? Am I being naive to his charms?

  1. #11
    Silver Member Jellybean9's Avatar
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    I don't think he is playing you at all. He seems genuinely interested.

    That said it's hard to support someone who had issues with mental health you have some of your own in terms of a romantic relationship.

    As you guys haven't met or anything yet. Wait till he moves back to where you are and meet as friends.

    You'll get an idea how he is coping with his mental health and whether or not you want to pursue it romantically.

    As you said you two have things you can relate about. I see that grounds for a blossoming friendship and not so much a new romance.

    Until you meet him and guage it all in person you'll never know.

    Just go with your gut. If you have doubts there is often a reason why... Just saying.

    Best of luck x

  2. #12
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    he had a 2 year old son and was getting help for alcoholism and has PTSD.
    As others have asked, how long has he been sober? Dating a fully recovered alcoholic is one thing. Dating someone who has only been sober for some months is something that I cannot recommend as he needs to tackle leading a sober life first. On top of it and his PTSD, he needs to manage being a father. Mustn't be easy.

    I'd rather offer him my support as a friend.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Cinderella000
    Just last week he asked if he wanted to meet up again.... but he lives about 300 miles away now but keeps telling me he is moving back to where I stay but he never has.
    Interesting that when you actually lived in the same area, he never had the guts to ask you out.

    Now that he's 300 miles away, he suddenly gets the courage?

    Something I have learned these past few years is there is reason a man who lives long distance becomes interested in you.

    Oh sure they all say they will be moving to your area "soon" but never do.

    These guys prefer distance, physical and emotional. Too much closeness makes them nervous, it imposes on their "space" and they fear the woman will expect more from him than he's capable or desirous of giving.

    Like a relationship! So they "intentionally" seek out women who live long distance.

    When I started on line dating last year, with guys who messaged me who lived more than an hour away by car, I took a pass, even if they said they were moving to my area soon.

    It's usually bs, they want something casual which includes sex whenever they're passing though, or they want something long distance so they can feel free and not so boxed in and "pressured" to deliver.

    And the fact he told you he has this "feeling" you are the "perfect girl"?

    Arghh! Please, I hope to God you didn't fall for that.

    Anyway, if you really like him, tell him to contact you once he permanently moves back to your area, but don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen.

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