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Thread: NC during my vacation,should I contact him now that I'm back?

  1. #61
    Bronze Member
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    Yep my picker must be off. My friend says im picky because on tinder I swipe right on maybe 1-2 guys in every 50 guys or so. It doesn't mean I go for the hottest ones though. I mostly chose average/ above average ones.
    I probably just don't know what traits I should tolerate and what I should not? I honestly believed him when he said they were jokes. Because he didn't DO anything bad. I mean if he blew hot and cold, or stood me up, or pulled away, I definately wouldn't stay. But he was really consistent..

  2. #62
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    But he did "pull away" and stopped being consistent.

    But yet, you were considering still dating him.

    In fact, you said earlier you give him a week and depending on what he says would consider still dating him!

    What excuse could he possibly give at this point?

    He was abducted by aliens?

    Fell unconscious and lying in a gutter?

    Learn to choose wisely from the get go, pay attention, and this type of crap won't happen.

  3. #63
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    I hear you believe me I do because I have had and I know many who have the same mindset.

    Often the reality is staring us right in the face.

    Thereís a poster here who has very very strict dating rules she followed and while I donít agree with them all at its core I learned from it. Dating especially online dating ESPECIALLY tinder can be a lions den, why would you enter it without armor?

    Sit down with a piece of paper and write down your expectations and boundaries. Youíll be surprised at how much youíll have to think about it because truthfully I donít think itís something we really think about. Once you do stick to them, when something isnít meshing with your dating rules you walk away, itís not going to be easy, I stumble still, but you will be surprised at the quality of men you encounter once you enter dating with the confidence of knowing you have expectations as much as your date does and itís not about proving yourself but rather seeking compatibility.

    Iím not judging you about having standards looks wise we all do but I think thereís been a ton of research on the pitfalls of the swipe right swipe mentality. We all do it so it is what it is, maybe try not to get so caught up in the physical potential that youre missing when someone doesnít have the potential to meet your emotional, this guy proved time and again he would never have met your emotional needs. Finding someone who meets both needs can be hard, but itís doable.

  4. #64
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    Dont know what excuses he can use. Didn't get my text? Didn't think he need to contact during my vacay?
    Lost his phone? Or dude is dead.
    Well it's unlikely i'll meet someone else this week anyway, and I may use this time to heal and forget.

  5.  

  6. #65
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23

    Iím not judging you about having standards looks wise we all do but I think thereís been a ton of research on the pitfalls of the swipe right swipe mentality. We all do it so it is what it is, maybe try not to get so caught up in the physical potential that youre missing when someone doesnít have the potential to meet your emotional, this guy proved time and again he would never have met your emotional needs. Finding someone who meets both needs can be hard, but itís doable.
    Maybe I have a wrong idea where I stand look wise. Maybe I'm aiming too high? That's why I got ghosted? Or dumped.

  7. #66
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why do you think this? This has nothing to do with him. Also don't settle for aholes just for that reason. Being with snotty on/off jerks is not 'being too picky".

    In fact the sooner you move forward and start dating more acceptable guys, the sooner you'll have bf again.
    Originally Posted by h0000
    I will admit though it's disheartening to think im gonna be single for years again till I can find my next bf.

  8. #67
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    No it has nothing do to with him. It's just my past experience: takes me years to find someone longterm.

  9. #68
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by h0000
    Maybe I have a wrong idea where I stand look wise. Maybe I'm aiming too high? That's why I got ghosted? Or dumped.
    No no Iím not saying that when Iím saying is that you have to focus on both physical and emotional. Again you say you were picky but how can you be picky when this man showed you the type of person that he was? I can only assume that you mean picky as in he was attractive. So what Iím saying is make sure they meet both standards. Not that youíre aiming too high Iím sure youíre a very pretty and nice girl

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