Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 68

Thread: NC during my vacation,should I contact him now that I'm back?

  1. #11
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    187
    Yeah it was my swimming suit. Does that matter anyway. .
    At least you guys didn't ghost each other lol

  2. #12
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    370
    Originally Posted by h0000
    Yeah it was my swimming suit. Does that matter anyway. .
    At least you guys didn't ghost each other lol
    Yes it matters, it would mean more if it was something you knew you'd never use on vacay. Just send a text, if you get no reply then there you go.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    31,127
    Gender
    Male
    Ok that makes sense. Why would you leave your stuff at his place anyway? You should take your stuff when you leave his place anyway. If you did leave something there and it's not important, forget it. If it is, text to set up a time to get it. Never use 'stuff' as a placeholder or an attempt to mark your turf. 🐶

    Back to the point. Text him that you are back and suggesting getting together. Do guys ghost on you all the time? Why are you worried before you know that's the case?
    Originally Posted by h0000
    he made sure I took my things out of his place before i left.

  4. #14
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    187
    Yes I think I have been ghosted before. Once, or maybe twice. Cant remember too well.
    Well in the early stages of dating I always think people fade out easily. I think hes ghosted because I really cant think of any other explanation why he didnt reply. Also my mum said he didnt even offer to pick me up, its clearly hes bailing lol
    As for my stuff, it was my bikini because we planned to go to the beach but I ended up not feeling it. So before I left he said "do you wanna take your bikini, in case you wanna use it". I knew I wasn't gonna swim but i took it anyway, I wasn't gonna say " no leave it here " lolz...
    I'm still digesting my feelings towards his behavior..sometimes I feel like texting him and other times I'm too annoyed to..

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    21,234
    Gender
    Female
    A text message isn't really a lot to venture. If he doesn't respond, then you'll have your answer. If he does, you may learn that your one text from afar didn't get through or whatever. Either way, sending a hello message isn't any skin off your back.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    9,979
    Just text him you're back and ask to meet up. Anything you can do while taking a **** isn't something you should need to think so much about.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    7,629
    Originally Posted by h0000

    As for my stuff, it was my bikini because we planned to go to the beach but I ended up not feeling it. So before I left he said "do you wanna take your bikini, in case you wanna use it".
    Ok, this^ is telling.

    Many guys (perhaps some women but men more so in my experience) use a vacay, either theirs or yours, as a great opportunity to fade out with little to no drama.

    I think he knew all along it was gonna be short term, six weeks right? Perfect in his mind. A few dates, some good sex, and then you leave and poof.

    Which is why he made sure you took everything with you when you left his place, including your bathing suit.

    If he had planned to see you again when you returned, I doubt he would have mentioned the suit himself. IF you wanted to take it, you would have.

    Nevermind the future talk. That should be in one ear and out the other in these very early stages anyway. Not to be taken seriously until you have spent more time and established trust.

    I have a bit of a rule for myself. When I first meet a guy and right off the bat he mentions he will be leaving soon for a vacation for a few weeks or months, I politely take a pass.

    My friend had a guy tell her this, and after he supposedly left (soon after they had sex) she ran into him at a bar across town drinking with his friends!

    Busted!

    One of my brothers (the commitment phobe who I have talked about before) does this too when he just wants a quick fling. Tells a girl he's leaving in a few weeks for a long vacay. It's a lie, he just wants to fade out with no drama.

    Just me but I just don't trust when guys tell me this. In this case it was your vacay, but he used it to his advantage imo.

    Anyway, I could be wrong, but this is what my gut is telling me, considering the above quote and the fact he never responded to your message or has messaged you.

    Typically I would advise reaching out one more time, but in this case, best to just let it go.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 02-02-2019 at 01:41 PM.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    7,883
    Originally Posted by h0000
    So before I left he said "do you wanna take your bikini, in case you wanna use it". I knew I wasn't gonna swim but i took it anyway, I wasn't gonna say " no leave it here " lolz...
    Well, were you vacationing in a place where you might actually go swimming? If you were going on a ski holiday to the Swiss Alps or a trip to Sweden to play in the snow, then yes, suggesting you take it with you is a little odd. If not, then I don't see why it couldn't have been viewed as a sincere reminder to grab it before you go. In an of itself, I think it's entirely possible that you're reading too much into that one particular gesture.

    Not replying to your text while you were away is more telling, in my opinion. Were you using a platform in which you can see if he'd actually received and read your message? I live abroad and I know my SMS messages are not usually delivered to my friends and family back home, for example. We rely on What's App to communicate with each other.

  10. #19
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    187
    Well I wasn't going to ski but I wasn't going to the beach either. I could swim indoor if I really want. But i have other swim suits. But anyway He just said in case I wanna swim.
    Regarding the message, it was text message, roaming. although not whatsapp, i'm sure he can get it. All my other friends can.
    Another thing is that he didn't offer to pick me up from the airport. I thought if he liked me and wanted to continue seeing me he would offer.

  11. #20
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    187
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Ok, this^ is telling.

    Many guys (perhaps some women but men more so in my experience) use a vacay, either theirs or yours, as a great opportunity to fade out with little to no drama.

    I think he knew all along it was gonna be short term, six weeks right? Perfect in his mind. A few dates, some good sex, and then you leave and poof.

    Which is why he made sure you took everything with you when you left his place, including your bathing suit.

    If he had planned to see you again when you returned, I doubt he would have mentioned the suit himself. IF you wanted to take it, you would have.
    .
    So right from the beginning he wanted to use me as a fling? That's really mean isnt it... the whole time he was lying then? He could have just told me " im not looking for anything serious"

Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •