GF blowing hot and cold

Need advice guys.

Been dating this chick, she's a single mom. For about 3 months now. Things great to start with, had plenty in common attracted to each other. We both work, before New years was seeing her one or two times a week.

Fast forward to now, barely see her once a fortnight.

States she has issues with her ex, other issues. But this wasn't a problem before new years!! Can't understand why they've changed so much...

Is she recently divorced or separated from the kids' father? Do you have kids?

States she has issues with her ex, other issues. But this wasn't a problem before new years!! Can't understand why they've changed so much...

Did she elaborate at all on what these issues are, exactly?

How long have they been broken up?

This "chick" sounds like she lost interest .

When you feel like a priority, you are one. You're not. If she doesn't meet your needs in the way you like to date, break up. There are other pretty, single women who don't have ex baggage, or excuses because they are too cowardly to break up with you.

Andrina hit the nail on the head, dude. Common theme of threads on enotalone: people wasting too much time and energy trying to figure people out or "help" them through their issues. If someone brings up their ex, they have unfinished business to take care of and can't be focused on you. Forget about her.

The "chick" might be talking to her ex. Or maybe she heard you refer to her as a "chick".

If the ex- is the dad, it stands to reason he could come in/out of their lives on occasion. Not unless she expressly stated that he was completely out of the picture.

I wouldn't conclude his/her interest at this point if the ex- did start trouble (until you know what trouble it is, you dont' know anything).

However, I agree with most others. All you can do is read it from your side and do what you want on it. You can only assume its over until she acts/tells you otherwise. So.. go seek and find what other options you have until she decides to let you in or come back.

Good luck.

Split happened 3.5 years ago.

Issues? God where do we start ~ can't have men staying over, terrified of change, various mental health issues...

Should also mention ~ the intimacy stopped a month ago. She ignored me for 48 hours didn't respond to my texts a couple of weeks ago. We both admitting communication could have been better. She texted she'd fallen for me a week before that...yet still ignored me!!

The "chick" might be talking to her ex. Or maybe she heard you refer to her as a "chick".

Maybe you should try dating women instead of poultry? Chickens tend to spook easily.

Very constructive and helpful.

Very constructive and helpful.

Fair enough, let me add this then... when you refer to the woman you have been seeing for 3 months as a "chick" it comes across as though you don't view her respectfully or equally. This may give some indication as to why she is pulling away from you if she is sensing this as well.

That's a better response :)

I only referred to her as a 'chick' to try and make the thread a little light~hearted. My bad. For what it's worth, I think she's a special woman who deserves a lot of credit for bringing up kids and holding down a job. I think an awful lot of her, have only treated her with respect, hence why I'm so baffled things have changed as they have...

i don't think all these things are happenign due to a word like "chick". If that's going on thre was nothign there to begin with lol.

I get that it's not the most endearing, fluffy, goosebump inducing nickname for a female signicant other- but let's get real. Nobody breaks up with a guy they truly love because he says "chick". They may not be happy, but they aren't going to suddenly leave the man of their dreams over the word "chick".

As far as not speaking for 48 hrs.. that's nothing. Nothing signicant to judge over. I think you're expecting a bit too much there. If she hasnpt spoken to you in a MONTH - than that's something. Even 2 weeks can be justified and explainable in the right situations.

So in the end... since you are not "serious" and she's not making a point to make this a part of her life, you need to look at options and let her come back to you to show you she wants something with you and that you're important to her. That's it.

Making a change from being a single mom with kids, to now including a partner, is a huge change.

You've already stated that she has mental issues and anxiety over change. This is a huge change for her and maybe things got too rushed.

That would cause anyone to back away.

It sounds like she needs time to digest everything and to get used to having someone in her life.

As long as you trust her and don't feel that she's seeing another man, then just assume everything is okay but give her some space.

If it's only about her getting used to everything, all she needs is a bit more time.

If you're really concerned, it would be better to just ask her rather than to guess.

ps: As for chick, it is demeaning and to be honest, makes you sound chav. Best to just leave those kinds of words behind when mentioning a woman.

Why would any decent single mother have "men staying over" after dating only 12 weeks and apparently a lot of turbulence already in this situation? Do you live with roommates/your parents? Why weren't plans made such as perhaps her getting a babysitter or on noncustodial days staying at your place? Unfortunately it sounds like you have too many incompatibilities and very different values and lifestyles. Maybe it's time to cut your losses and date women without children.

can't have men staying over.