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Thread: Odd ex behavior, why?

  1. #21
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    "She also said she loved me after a month, she had visited my mother, wanted me to marry her etc. "

    Glaring red flag.

    But maybe the sex felt too good?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    "She also said she loved me after a month, she had visited my mother, wanted me to marry her etc. "

    Glaring red flag.

    But maybe the sex felt too good?
    Yes and she had the perfect body for my tastes - live and learn

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates

    I guess I am just wondering why? Who does that?
    Lots of people. Have you not read the many threads on the subject? There ae sociopathic people out there whose only interest is their own and how they feel. You seem to have found one of them. The issue here is you allowed her into your life when she clearly was a piece of fluff out for her own interests. So instead of asking "who does that?" of us, ask yourself why you allowed her to do it... therein lies the rub.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Lots of people. Have you not read the many threads on the subject? There ae sociopathic people out there whose only interest is their own and how they feel. You seem to have found one of them. The issue here is you allowed her into your life when she clearly was a piece of fluff out for her own interests. So instead of asking "who does that?" of us, ask yourself why you allowed her to do it... therein lies the rub.
    Please explain - we have been broken up for nearly 2 years when I found out how she really was, to another guy. When I realized that she was literally owned by her father I cut her loose back in summer 2017.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    Please explain - we have been broken up for nearly 2 years when I found out how she really was, to another guy. When I realized that she was literally owned by her father I cut her loose back in summer 2017.
    ...but you let her back in.

    You let your lust over-rule your common sense and self-preservation. You found out who she really was way before you had been broken up but you ignored the red flags.

    I was basically a secret from her family and at my age that doesn't fly,
    Being a secret was a deal breaker for you but you went there with her again when you allowed her into your life.
    then she did come over and we had sex.
    You tore down a personal boundary and she walked through the door you left open for her when you didn't end things with her with a solid ending verbally and then zero contact along with blocking and deleting. Ask yourself why you did that so you learn from it and don't let yourself down like that again.

    It's time now to forgive yourself for letting yourself down so that you can shelve these ongoing thoughts of her and you and this "thing" you had ongoing with her.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You tore down a personal boundary and she walked through the door you left open for her when you didn't end things with her with a solid ending verbally and then zero contact along with blocking and deleting. Ask yourself why you did that so you learn from it and don't let yourself down like that again.

    It's time now to forgive yourself for letting yourself down so that you can shelve these ongoing thoughts of her and you and this "thing" you had ongoing with her.
    Yes this was indeed very stupid of me, trust me I get it now. I looked back over a year on with rose covered glasses only seeing the fun we had and not all the bad - yes to not ending it properly

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    Yes this was indeed very stupid of me, trust me I get it now. I looked back over a year on with rose covered glasses only seeing the fun we had and not all the bad - yes to not ending it properly
    So let's say she contacts you again and wants to come over for a romp in bed. Would you be able to resist?

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So let's say she contacts you again and wants to come over for a romp in bed. Would you be able to resist?
    Oh hell no! And its been 6 months so I doubt she ever would, but if she does she'll be hearing what I think of her and I'll be telling her to stay out of my life forever.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    Oh hell no! And its been 6 months so I doubt she ever would, but if she does she'll be hearing what I think of her and I'll be telling her to stay out of my life forever.
    Why become so emotional about it?

    I mean stay out of your life forever?

    That sends her the message she still gets to you, you're still emotional about her, which will flatter her.

    The opposite of love is not hate or anger, it's indifference.

    Either just ignore her or if she contacts you wanting to hook up, a brief two word "no thanks" will suffice, but ignoring is probably better.

    Please don't get all emotional telling her what you think of her and stay out of your life forever.

    If you want her out of your life forever, that's your job, by either ignoring, or blocking.

    Stop giving her so much power over you (and your emotions).

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You should be long over this and be dating again, not stalking and pondering.
    Originally Posted by ManyDates
    So a year and a half ago I had a 3 or 4 month long summer fling with a girl

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