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How can I kick my cousin out of my house?


CBC2000

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So I need a little bit of advise of an issue I’m having. So my cousin who is a guy got evicted from his apartment due to his roommate not paying half of his rent. Anyways he contacted me the day it happened asking if he could stay with me for a month while he looks for a new place and pay half of my rent. This was on January 23rd and he move in the very next day. (By the way I live in a one bedroom apartment and the bathroom is in my bedroom). So I was asking him yesterday if he had started to look at places and he told me that he would start looking at the end of February because he wants to make sure he has enough cash, mind you he actually makes more money than me (at least that’s what he said).

 

So my issue is that when we initially talked I only agreed to him staying because he said it would only be a month. The other thing is that I am a female and I need my personal space. Third thing is that 2 years ago I let this cousin stay with me almost 2 years ago and the only thing I asked him to pay was the electricity bill and he only paid half of it. I’m not okay with him staying that long and I need advise on how to tell him without sounding harsh. The other thing is that he’s parents have a huge house with a whole bunch on bedrooms, but he does not want to go home b.c of his pride

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You did agree to him staying with you for a month. I would tell him that he needs to be out by the end of February,, according to your agreement. He needs to start looking now.

 

Next time, do not agree to these types of situations, if people have other options. Learn to say no!

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I'm not entirely sure how he retains more pride knowing someone is sleeping in the bathroom for his benefit than if he were to go back home, but at the end of the day, you told him he could stay there a month. He's only been there a week, so he has no rights. You could demand he leave and call the sheriff if he refuses. You can try to nicely appeal to him, telling him how the lack of space is more uncomfortable and stressful than you'd thought, and hope it'll light a fire under his ass out of courtesy. Or you can stick to hosting him for the time you said you would.

 

Unfortunately, all you have is his initial word he'd be there only a month. You trust him with that or you kick him out. Riding him about his apartment hunting efforts won't help anyone.

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Just sit him down and reiterate that he can only stay for one month and needs to figure out where to go before that time runs out. Blame your lease restrictions, that you can't have extended guests staying with you and also that this is a big hardship on you. You are doing him a huge favor, but it can't be extended beyond what you initially offered. Also, do not accept any rent payments, it can create a tenant right for him. Without money, he is just a guest and so if push comes to shove, you can kick him out any time you want to.

 

Remember, that being direct and blunt is not rude or mean. This is a situation where you don't mince words or try to cushion anything. Nothing to cushion. Just tell him straight up that you are sorry he got evicted, but he has to be gone out of your home on or before Feb 23 and it's not negotiable.

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Stick true to your word. He looks for an apartment that he can move into by the 1st of March. If he is there past that, then that's a different story. I understand whatDF is saying about the 23rd, but in reality, not all landlords will let you move in early unless it has been vacant awhile.

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Stick true to your word. He looks for an apartment that he can move into by the 1st of March. If he is there past that, then that's a different story. I understand whatDF is saying about the 23rd, but in reality, not all landlords will let you move in early unless it has been vacant awhile.

 

Maybe it's a US thing, but there is no move in/out on the 1st. You can rent whenever unit is available regardless of day or the month. Rent simply gets prorated and if they have a lot of units available, then landlords will often waive that week or two as a move in enticement.

 

Either way, since he is already seeking to push OP's boundaries and stated limits, I wouldn't indicate that I'm in any way willing to flex for even one day, even if in reality, if he found a place and rented it and move in is March 10th, I'd let him stay until then. Under the circumstances, the OP, needs to stay very very firm and stick to that hard deadline. He needs to believe her. If she tells him, I said one month, but you can stay an extra week....she is already showing him he can keep pushing that boundary because she won't enforce it.

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I'm not entirely sure how he retains more pride knowing someone is sleeping in the bathroom for his benefit than if he were to go back home, but at the end of the day, you told him he could stay there a month. He's only been there a week, so he has no rights. You could demand he leave and call the sheriff if he refuses. You can try to nicely appeal to him, telling him how the lack of space is more uncomfortable and stressful than you'd thought, and hope it'll light a fire under his ass out of courtesy. Or you can stick to hosting him for the time you said you would.

 

Unfortunately, all you have is his initial word he'd be there only a month. You trust him with that or you kick him out. Riding him about his apartment hunting efforts won't help anyone.

 

Lol he actually sleeps on the couch, but I mentioned how the bathroom is in my bedroom to explain how much privacy I don’t have. Anyways you are still right I will just remind him that I only agreed for him to stay a month

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Give him something in writing with specifics. Include that the agreement was 1 mo and give g him 30 days (or whatever) from the day you s give him the letter. His stories are not adding up including the eviction, how much he makes and delaying looking for housing. Does he do drugs, gamble?

 

Make sure he doesn't get comfortable and unfortunately that means you should only take money for "expenses" not rent as that could establish this as his "residence." The hell with his "pride" send him packing to mom and dad.

 

How is getting evicted and mooching off you "pride"? He's exploiting you His parents are your aunt/uncle? Call and say hi and that you can not house him..They know more about this than he's telling you.

asking if he could stay with me for a month. he would start looking at the end of February because he wants to make sure he has enough cash, mind you he actually makes more money than me (at least that’s what he said).

 

The other thing is that he’s parents have a huge house with a whole bunch on bedrooms, but he does not want to go home b.c of his pride

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Give him something in writing with specifics. Include that the agreement was 1 mo and give g him 30 days (or whatever) from the day you s give him the letter. His stories are not adding up including the eviction, how much he makes and delaying looking for housing. Does he do drugs, gamble?

 

Make sure he doesn't get comfortable and unfortunately that means you should only take money for "expenses" not rent as that could establish this as his "residence." The hell with his "pride" send him packing to mom and dad.

 

How is getting evicted and mooching off you "pride"? He's exploiting you His parents are your aunt/uncle? Call and say hi and that you can not house him..They know more about this than he's telling you.

 

He told me that his prior tenants where calling his roommate for about a week and he was not picking up the phone so they ended up calling him.

 

I will speak to him and let him know that he has to be out by the end of the month per prior agreement. I try to help people and always end up getting screwed over

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Maybe it's a US thing, but there is no move in/out on the 1st. You can rent whenever unit is available regardless of day or the month. Rent simply gets prorated and if they have a lot of units available, then landlords will often waive that week or two as a move in enticement.

 

Either way, since he is already seeking to push OP's boundaries and stated limits, I wouldn't indicate that I'm in any way willing to flex for even one day, even if in reality, if he found a place and rented it and move in is March 10th, I'd let him stay until then. Under the circumstances, the OP, needs to stay very very firm and stick to that hard deadline. He needs to believe her. If she tells him, I said one month, but you can stay an extra week....she is already showing him he can keep pushing that boundary because she won't enforce it.

 

In the Us it’s the same, you can rent whenever the unit is available, which is why I’m not understanding why he wants to wait until the end of February to do it. He said he wants to present solid check stubs He has like 2 jobs, but he gets paid more that me with just one of his jobs.

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I mean, he should be looking just for it being the responsible thing to do, but while yes, landlords don't have to stick to the 1st through the 5th move-in, ending tenancy at the last day of the month and spending the first few days of the next cleaning and doing minor renos tends to be the surest way to limit vacancy periods. He can expect a good 90%+ of his decent prospects to have a March move-in.

 

Still, that's not your problem and is further why you've got zero reason to be inquiring on his apartment application status. You gave him a month. At the end of that period, he's either moving into his sparkly new apartment or finding alternative arrangements until he can.

 

I agree with being blunt and not sparing any key terms, but you two are sharing some pretty close quarters, so I might make an effort to include a pinch of sugar in your presentation when confirming the arrangement.

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I mean, he should be looking just for it being the responsible thing to do, but while yes, landlords don't have to stick to the 1st through the 5th move-in, ending tenancy at the end of the month and spending the first few days of the next cleaning and doing minor renos tends to be the surest way to limit vacancy periods. He can expect a good 90%+ of his decent prospects to have a March move-in.

 

Still, that's not your problem and is further why you've got zero reason to be inquiring on his apartment application status. You gave him a month. At the end of that period, he's either moving into his sparkly new apartment or finding alternative arrangements until he can.

 

I agree with being blunt and not sparing any key terms, but you two are sharing some pretty close quarters, so I might make an effort to include a pinch of sugar in your presentation when confirming the arrangement.

 

I don’t care what he decides to do after the month. But when he was speaking about it yesterday, it definitely sounded like he was planning on staying until he found a new apartment. I did send him a text letting him know that he has a month to move out.

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I agree with the others. He needs to start looking now so that he can move in to a new apartment 1st March the latest. If not he can stay at his parents, not your problem. I'd research the tenancy laws in your area to make sure that by paying you rent he's not getting rights to stay there longer than he should (I have no idea of how these things work).

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When i have moved into apartments that were owned by a conglomerate or in a building, it was pretty regimented. They rented from the 1st to the 1st. It helped keep all their accounting straight as an arrow. Private landlords who are renting out their starter home, the second half of their duplex, or the in-law apartment it doesn't matter so much. They are more flexible.

 

I would think in your mind the deadline is march 1st but do a happy dance in your head if he is out ahead of that. He has given you zero reason to think that he would abuse it and you ALREADY agreed to the terms.

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Excellent. Exactly. Where he goes or what he does when the agreed time is up is not your problem. He has to figure out what to do from there. Do not even discuss money, landlord terms, etc. Did you call your aunt/uncle and find out the real reason he won't (or can't) stay there?

I don’t care what he decides to do after the month. I did send him a text letting him know that he has a month to move out.
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Excellent. Exactly. Where he goes or what he does when the agreed time is up is not your problem. He has to figure out what to do from there. Do not even discuss money, landlord terms, etc. Did you call your aunt/uncle and find out the real reason he won't (or can't) stay there?

 

I haven’t spoken to them, but this has been going on for some years now and I’ve spoken to them about this before. The reason he won’t go home is because he can’t do whatever he wants when he’s there and because he feels like he has to prove to his parents that he can make it out on his own. He’s parents actually wouldn’t mind having him back home.

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I think instead of punishing your cousin by being a hardass about him moving out on an exact date, that you should decide going forward its okay to say "no" to people. If you say yes, the you can't cast blame on them for you saying yes. Does that make sense? If you said "sure, you can stay here til the end of next month' - then stand by your word and do so cheerfully instead of making sure he knows he can't stay one extra moment over and over. If you didn't really want him to stay, then you should have said no upfront vs saying yes and telling us how much you are suffering over it or assuming he is out to take advantage.

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Ok let him stay only and exactly the agreed upon duration. Do not let him get too comfortable. A roof for a month is all you offered in this agreement. Then he can go home to mom and dad and learn to live by their rules, or chronically get evicted from places.

 

Does he use drugs or drink or play video games all day and not help out? What sort of "do whatever he wants" things don't fly at mom and dad's?

this has been going on for some years now and I’ve spoken to them about this before. The reason he won’t go home is because he can’t do whatever he wants when he’s there. He’s parents actually wouldn’t mind having him back home.
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