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Thread: Been exclusively dating this girl for 3 months, but I'm thinking about dumping h

  1. #1

    Been exclusively dating this girl for 3 months, but I'm thinking about dumping h

    I've been exclusively dating this girl for about 3 months now, we originally met off Tinder. We both have great sex, a lot of fun conversation and we try to go on multiple dates per week. I've basically have borderline fell in love with her over the past month, especially when she went on a 2 week vacation. We both messaged each other every day telling each other how much we were missing each other.

    I recently got into an argument with her though, which I may have started because I slightly annoyed her. She stated that she likes me a lot and thinks I'm super sweet, but that I can be immature/annoying at times and she doesn't see me as a future mate in the long term. She basically said it takes her a long time to fall in love and she wants to see where it goes. We both talked for a couple more hours. I even brought up some options as in making it an open relationship, and she said "no" because she's too emotionally connected to this. I'm a bit wary of her at this point. I just think due to lack of relationship experience, she doesn't know how to truly be direct and tell me what she really wants. I'll admit the last time we hung out, we both didn't want to leave each other's arms and think about the work week.

    I didn't think much of what she said at face value initially, but over the past few days I've been really hurt and I have this weird feeling that she's just stringing me along a path to where I may get really hurt. I'm paranoid to the point where she may just be stringing me along for the great sex or I might just be paranoid.

    We also had this discussion back in late November and she said she wanted to be FWB's but wasn't sure, because she had feelings too, as well as I. Back then, she basically said the same thing "I want to see where things go." I'm sadly at the point where I may want to date other people, because I'm slowly starting to realize she might not be for me, and it really ing hurts.

    We even planned a vacation in a few weeks and we may go on another vacation at the end of the year, but at the same time I'm just not so sure. I think I may have to let her go and start all over, maybe I'll just go for woman in their late 20's/early 30's, basically my age range.

    Note: Her ex did tell her that he loved her 1 1/2 month in and then dumped her 2 1/2 months later, so this might play into effect. She also recently messaged me saying she's lucky to find a good guy, since it's rare.

    I know I'm probably overthinking all this, but what are your thoughts?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    It sounds like she never was as invested in you as you said back in November she wanted FWB. Sounds like she just wants it casual.

    If you donít mind it being casual and just a good time for now but it doesnít sound like thatís what youíre after.

    Two months In is still early but itís long enough to know if youíre wasting your time especially if it doesnít feel right to you.

    Personally I couldnít date someone without thinking there could be long term, I donít see the point.

    You both are going into this on different wave lengths.

    Youíre unfortunately incompatible.

    If I were you I would back out before you get too invested.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How old is she? It sounds like you're incompatible and she may still be hung up on/communicating with the ex. Also this was a breakup, so why stick around?

    Go no contact don't bother with fwb, friendzone, 'open relationship", etc. She's looking elsewhere and so should you.
    Originally Posted by MusicJunkie4
    She stated that she likes me a lot and thinks I'm super sweet, but that I can be immature/annoying at times and she doesn't see me as a future mate in the long term. I'll just go for woman in their late 20's/early 30's, basically my age range. Her ex did tell her that he loved her 1 1/2 month in and then dumped her 2 1/2 months later, so this might play into effect.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    You have different dating goals. You want long term and she says she doesn't foresee that. It also sounds like you're in an age gap relationship, which is riskier than dating people closer to your age. Yes, I think it'd be wiser to date someone who matches your dating goals and is in the same life stage as you.

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