New relationship

So I met this guy last week and we've been out a few times and talking quite a bit. I think I really like him and could see this going somewhere. He's been really upfront and honest about something that I'm not totally sure how I feel about it. He told me hes in to wearing bras and panties and even has fake breasts and likes pegging or like butt plugs. The dressing up part really kinda weirds me out. The other part I suppose I could see how that might feel good for him. We have talked a lot about this and I'm still not sure. He says that it's a rare thing and that willingness to try and grow together is more important and that he won't leave me if I won't do something but I'm worried that it might end up that it's not as rare as he makes it out right now. Like I really don't understand why he'd want to dress up. And I'm pretty sure it's just gonna be a huge turn off. I dont know If I'm strictly against it as we get closer but what happens if/when I dont like it? We haven't slept together yet but have plans to... I'm a divorced single mom I can't get into a relationship that's doomed. I don't know what to do. If everything is great and you care about someone do you just sometimes suck it up and do what he wants or should I just nip this in the bud so I dont get hurt later?

I can't help but think that in situations like these, we disclose things carefully, in an editing way so to gauge someones response. I would be concerned that this is just a limited version of what he's really into and he's waiting for your response and willingness to show you the full view of preferences.

If you can say those words `weirds me out' then I think you should pass on this.

If the thought makes you uncomfortable, it will be weirder in person.

I, for one can't imagine snuggling up to that. No thank you.

Different strokes for different folks.

There are men and women who like to expieriment in that way, if it’s not your thing that’s ok. Just like it’s ok that it is his.

Sexual compatibility is a big thing so think seriously about all this, it shouldn’t be something you have to force yourself to accept you either so or you don’t, if you don’t respect him like he respected you enough to tell you and walk away.

I don’t think sexual compatibility in general has to be “tested “ by having intercourse BUT when someone has a particular sexual preference or fetish and tells you about it up front do not get involved unless you are into it too. Given what you wrote I would not see him again.

If everything is great and you care about someone do you just sometimes suck it up and do what he wants

I don't advocate for this, as this is dishonest and can ultimately lead to resentment if you continue to "suck it up" and do things you don't want to do. It doesn't sound like you are into the idea at all so I advise letting him go and finding someone more compatible with your own preferences.

I agree this may be a toned down version of the truth. It’s early early to disclose a full blown kink.

Like wanting to be a girl or dressing this way all the time?

Like wanting to be a girl or dressing this way all the time?

Possibility.

Just take what he shared and times it by two.

I have been relatively sheltered when it comes to sex so I'm not really sure what would be times 2?

Meaning he’s not telling you how strong a preference this is for him and how into it he is.

So like it's not really a rare thing. He's gonna wanna do it all the time?

So like it's not really a rare thing. He's gonna wanna do it all the time?

No, meaning it may get way more extreme - we just don’t know the direction.

The point:

If you aren’t comfortable now, bow out

So like it's not really a rare thing. He's gonna wanna do it all the time?

no crystal ball here. Just opinions.

What everyone else is saying.

He’s revealing himself to you, in shades, as people do early. Given the context, it seems like a big reveal, but it’s kind of just a shade.

That’s not to say he’s into some much weirder stuff, but it’s kind of simple: Are you already turned off? If so, bow out.

I won’t get into the nitty gritty of my sex life, but I’ve had people tell me about certain preferences early that were outside of my typical wheelhouse. Yet the moment they revealed them my gut response was: whoa, interesting, FUN.

And, yeah, generally that was the tip of the fun iceberg. Or, depending on one’s preferences, the weird iceberg.

In my opinion, if it was rare and/or unimportant to him, he wouldn’t bring it up in the first week of dating. He wouldn’t even think about it. The reason he brought it up is because it IS important to him and he wants to make sure you are ok with it before you get too involved.

You aren’t ok with it. If you were truly ok with it, you would not have posted a thread about it. You are struggling with it.

I think you should give this one a pass. You aren’t compatible. It sucks - but it is what it is.

He's telling you this upfront to see if you are in on it. It sounds like you're incompatible. Dating is to gauge compatibility and sexual incompatibility should be a deal breaker. Don't waste each other's time.

Be honest with yourself. If you're not into it, you're not into it. It's easier to cut your losses now than continue only to realize this isn't working.

He's been really upfront and honest about something that I'm not totally sure how I feel about it. He told me hes in to wearing bras and panties and even has fake breasts.The dressing up part really kinda weirds me out. We haven't slept together yet but have plans to... I'm a divorced single mom I can't get into a relationship that's doomed.