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9 year relationship over


calikid32190

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Ok guys so me and my ex were together for 9 years. We almost made it to 10. Over the 9 years we did have are ups and down she would have a really nasty attitude and that would bring out my verbal abusivness. It went on for awhile until she broke up with me in April of last year. We took about a month off and in that time I was able to reflect on myself and improve in what I needed to do if i wanted this to work and then she says she wants to try again.So we do and it only last a month and she says she feels pressured to feel something she isn’t feeling and doesn’t want to play house. So I said screw this I’m just done.

 

We have a 2 year old together as well and I started taking him to my house to spend time with me and that lasted for a week and she then invited me over for dinner and told me she wants to try this again. So we tried again and it lasted 7 months which was all the way to the last 2 weeks of December. Over these 7 months I was absolutely amazing to this woman. She even told me I was more supportive I was more loving and all of my abusive tendencies were gone I literally gave her everything I had. What ended it this time was she told me she needed to work on herself but I ended up finding out she had cheated on me with some other guy on discord which is an app where people talk about video games. I was devastated because all of walls were down I put in the work to show her and she said she had seen how hard I worked. She told me she was sorry and she wished she had never did that to me but if she could do that to me she knew she couldn’t be with me anymore so she broke up with me a week before Christmas. I left her alone for about 5 days and I talked to her and said I could forgive the cheating and we can try to figure this out. I told her I can continue to give her her space so that she can figure if she wants me or not and I was ready to leave but she looks at me and says she wants me.

 

So we ended up getting back together for 5 days and we broke up again on Jan 4. Over just the 5 days she was super loving telling me we would get through this and she wasn’t going anywhere and that we are soulmates and we would get married. Then 5 days later came and we broke up she was upset that I read the messages to the guy she was talking to instead of leaving it alone. But i was just cheated on so of course I wanted to know the full story. When she broke up with me this time she is telling me she doesn’t know what she wants in life but she knows she doesn’t want this relationship. What she is saying now is she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore after almost 10 years of being together. She said she still loves me but doesn’t she want to be with me and there is no feelings there. She said each time we got back to there she felt pressured to get back with me even though the most recent one I told her to take her time. I’m just so lost like after 9 years and a child together she no longer has feelings for me and it’s killing me. How do you lose feelings for someone you were with for almost a decade. We’re 28 by the way. Something that she was doing so much lately was playing the video game literally her addiction to that has gotten so bad and when she’s not doing that she’s watching people play video games on something called mixer. Even since the 4th it’s been about 25 days and since she goes to work comes home and plays the video game the whole night and watches mixer. On her days off it’s the same routine she doesn’t even leave the house. I know this because she lives down the street from me and I pick up my son from her. Just last Monday she actually wanted me to sit down and I should have said no because I was trying to do NC but I wanted to hear what she had to say.

 

She tells me she is so depressed and has no idea what to do with her life and she starts apologizing again about everything that she had done to me. She starts saying she has no idea what makes her happy anymore and even at one point our own son wasn’t making her happy just until recently he has. So basically spilling all of how she has been feeling to me while crying and I ask her why is she telling me this? She says because she thought we could be friends and I told her I don’t want to be friends it’s to hard and she says I’m the one that knows her the best and she feels safe around me to talk about her problems. The reason she had this breakdown is because she stopped playing the video game and watching people play video games and actually thought about things for the first time. She tells me she reached out because it’s been about a month and we haven’t talked when in reality it had only been 18 days and so I end up going back to where I’m staying with my son and 3 hours later I ask her is she still actually thinking about her life and she says she did for about an hour and went right back to playing the game. So I said if you’re not even going to try to fix yourself then Theres no point in my helping watch our son while you do nothing. She then asks for us to come over to just hang out with him over there and i agree because she had such a rough day and I felt bad. So I’m over there for 2 hours and the whole time I just ignore her and pay attention to my son. She eventually ends up falling asleep on the couch and I tell her to just go to her room to sleep and she says shes fine and it feels good to not be alone. Something else to note is she always says she has no one but me and no one else really cares about her. We live around all of my family and she doesn’t really have any friends except all these people she plays video games with online but she tells me there not real people. So I tell her I can be friends with her but I’ve still been doing the same thing which is going over to pickup my son and then leaving right away without any talking.

 

I don’t want to be the one to make this work because I truly did nothing this time to deserve this and she acknowledged that as well and has said it was nothing I was doing over the 7 months it’s just she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. So after that Monday I went over on Tuesday and I told her I don’t think it’s a good idea if we’re friends and I can’t be part of your support system and she starts crying and saying it’s ok and that she understands. The reason I said this is because she still keeps in contact with the dude she was talking to behind me back so I tell her why doesn’t she go to him and tell

him all of her problems and that’s when she says because she doesn’t trust him and he’s just her friend. Which doesn’t make sense because she’s trying to make me her friend as well. I then tell her I know she is talking to all kinds of guys now that we’re not together and she says she isn’t and is really trying to work on herself then starts questioning me saying I’m sure you’re talking to girls now to and I just say no. She then is crying from everything that had just went on and said she can’t handle anymore stress right now and wants me to leave not for good but just for right now. So I did and took my son to hang out. Since that last time of actual talking I’ve been very distant and I was before last Monday.

 

The very next day after the whole Tuesday thing she texted me first for once because she hadn’t did that at al since we’ve been broken up. She just said hey and I figured she wants something from me. So I said what’s up she then takes about and hour and half to write me back and then says sorry got busy and that’s shes just checking in with me. All I said to that was I figured you were busy and tried to end the convo. She then writes me later saying she really just wanted to say hi and make sure of the plan with our son for the night. The thing about our son is we’ve had the plan for awhile she told me I get him at 6:15 every night because she didn’t want to keep having that convo with me so for her to ask what the plan was just didn’t make sense. Maybe because I hung out 2 hours over there on Monday so she thought that it would be different idk.

 

I’m just confused guys like I love her and want her back more than anything but I guess she told my mom who’s out here visiting this week the same thing that she doesn’t have those feelings for me anymore and she wants me to be happy and that i deserve someone who is just in love with me as I am with them. I don’t feel like I have a chance and since all she does is play video games every single day after work she will never think about anything. She did get into counseling for the first time and she has her first session this past Friday so I hope that really helps her.

 

Here as some of the texts since last Wednesday when I told her I didn’t really want to be friends and she told me to leave. She’s putting smiley faces and lol and trying to be nice and I don’t get why like what’s the point?

 

 

https://imgur.com/a/o5UXqa6

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WOW! Sorry for the whole thing, you definitely got burned as its clear you put in a lot of work here. The whole relationship dynamic is just really awful and I would even say broken because its not healthy to be on and off with someone so frequently.

 

On the other hand, you can't really cut someone else out when you have a 2 year old kid, maybe you ought to move on and focus on building a relationship purely out of interest for your kid?

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WOW! Sorry for the whole thing, you definitely got burned as its clear you put in a lot of work here. The whole relationship dynamic is just really awful and I would even say broken because its not healthy to be on and off with someone so frequently.

 

On the other hand, you can't really cut someone else out when you have a 2 year old kid, maybe you ought to move on and focus on building a relationship purely out of interest for your kid?

 

Is there no way to build back the relationship we once had? I feel like maybe NC might work because she literally has no one here and she never goes out because all she does is play the video game non stop when she gets home from work. I do have a relationship with my son and we already have things in place so we barley have to talk.

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Is there no way to build back the relationship we once had? I feel like maybe NC might work because she literally has no one here and she never goes out because all she does is play the video game non stop when she gets home from work..

 

You hope she's lonely and vulnerable enough to take you back?

Do you think that's a good thing?

 

You admit that you've been abusive and even stated she would have a really nasty attitude and that would bring out my verbal abusiveness. Do you know that deflecting blame is a typical abuse tactic? No one can make you be verbally abusive, you chose to. Or it's your default go to.

I realize you think you've changed, but the deflection of blame shows otherwise.

 

Look, I get the two of you are locked into this unhealthy dynamic. It takes two. Her finding attention on video chat is just a symptom of the problems between you.

 

Treating her like a princess isn't always about real genuine change.

 

I only say this because there is a child involved, but have you two considered couples counseling?

 

Lastly, stop keeping tabs on her activities.

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You hope she's lonely and vulnerable enough to take you back?

Do you think that's a good thing?

 

You admit that you've been abusive and even stated she would have a really nasty attitude and that would bring out my verbal abusiveness. Do you know that deflecting blame is a typical abuse tactic? No one can make you be verbally abusive, you chose to. Or it's your default go to.

I realize you think you've changed, but the deflection of blame shows otherwise.

 

Look, I get the two of you are locked into this unhealthy dynamic. It takes two. Her finding attention on video chat is just a symptom of the problems between you.

 

Treating her like a princess isn't always about real genuine change.

 

I only say this because there is a child involved, but have you two considered couples counseling?

 

Lastly, stop keeping tabs on her activities.

 

When I came back into the relationship I did change I wasn’t verbally abusive and I did own up to my mistakes and she admitted to it that I had become the perfect man and I was so much better yet in those 7 months she just couldn’t accept that she acknowledged it. I also don’t keep tabs on her friends tell me that’s all she does is play video games all day I don’t even ask them. Also I’m there for my kid and that’s all. There doesn’t really need to be a relationship with her we already have set times and everything with him so there doesn’t need to be communication between us. Also I didn’t say I hope she’s lonely she’s told me those things that she feels alone and that she feels she has nobody. Also she refuses to do couples counseling because I’ve offered that as well. She just barely got into counseling for herself. To be told that it was nothing that I did and that I was amazing but she still didn’t want to be with me because she has lost feelings somehow doesn’t make sense to me. She told me about half way through the 7 months she just wasn’t feeling anything but I don’t nesacarrily think it had anything to do with the relationship because she still is barley feeling things and we’re not even together anymore. I feel mostly used that she even wanted to be back with me for the 7 months when I was at my best. She stayed with me at my worst and I turned it around and she got my best and all of a sudden she doesn’t have feelings. She still says things like she doesn’t know what she wants in life so I just think she needs the counseling and maybe after that we can try but who knows.

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You said she doesn't have any friends, so who are these friends who are telling you stories about her?

 

You two cling together because you haven't tried to interact with anyone else. Loneliness is being mistaken for love.

 

There my friends not her friends and the only people she talks to are 2 of the girls we work with since we work at the same place as well but she doesn’t consider these girls as friends but she tells them things. Well I’m trying to do NC only talking strictly about our kid and every now and then she will have a breakdown like last Monday where she wanted me to sit and hear what she’s been going through but not caring about the relationship right now saying she can’t talk about it and that she needs to get right first but has no problem trying to cry and tell me all of the feelings that have been going on. She was the one who mentioned we haven’t really talked in a month when in reality it had only been 18 days. Ever since Monday she has tried to be friendly with me as you can see with the texts I posted but I’ve been as short as possible with my answers so she knows to not talk to me. She’s the one who left me after the changes I had went through to make the relationship work and better myself.

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I think you've exhausted every option there is. You've tried to change, you've taken time apart, you've suggested counselling, given her space,...nothing has worked.

 

It sounds like she keeps pulling you back in when she is lonely and you keep running back thinking she might love you again. Then she does the same thing, doesn't want you.

 

It sounds torturous.

 

I think the only thing you can do now, is to talk with her if it's about your son and leave it at that. You've tried everything there is to try and none of it has worked.

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Sorry to hear this. All you can do is focus on the best co-parenting you can. Make sure you have a formalized custody/visitation and child support order in effect.

My gf of 10 years decided to break up with me last month because of me I was verbally abusive and wasn’t open with my feelings. we have been splitting time with are son at separate houses because what was happening before is I was at her house all the time when I was spending time with him and she was right there as well and just 2 days of this so far now that I’ve taken him to my house.
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I think you've exhausted every option there is. You've tried to change, you've taken time apart, you've suggested counselling, given her space,...nothing has worked.

 

It sounds like she keeps pulling you back in when she is lonely and you keep running back thinking she might love you again. Then she does the same thing, doesn't want you.

 

It sounds torturous.

 

I think the only thing you can do now, is to talk with her if it's about your son and leave it at that. You've tried everything there is to try and none of it has worked.

 

We’ve really never taken a ton of time apart at most it was 1 month never anything longer than that so I don’t know if things will change or not. It seems every time I start to do good and get my life going she wants to try to pull me back in. We’re about to hit the 1 month of not being together. She does have depression and anxiety and I know those things get to her as well so idk if things will change after she goes through counseling and maybe we can work things out. She’s told me it’s nothing I did and she just doesn’t have feelings for me as far as a relationship goes but I feel like she still doesn’t know what she wants when she tries to get me to hear all of her feelings or be supportive of her. She even says now she doesn’t know how to be happy and not sure what she wants so if she ever figures it out I don’t know if things will be different. She doesn’t really ever think about anything because she literally plays the video games all day everyday after work until bedtime. That was starting to become a serious addiction before we broke up and now that’s all she’s doing. It could be to mask everything that is going on since she’s told me before when she plays the video game she it keeps her mind busy and that’s why she didn’t like to just watch tv

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What I’m really confused about all of this is how fast she wanted to try to say we can be friends. At first she told me she didn’t want to be friends and that could change at a later time and that literally only took a week and then she had her breakdown and said she thought we could be friends. She also was telling me when she broke up with me that she doesn’t know what the future holds if we get back together or not. That really pisses me off because most people know what they want in there life or for there future. It’s like a way to keep me guessing but I’ve kind of ignored that and have been getting better everyday. Since her breakdown on MLK day I’ve went back to no contact unless it pertains to our kid. Sometimes I don’t respond right away because I’m busy or doing something and she gets upset telling me communication David. It’s like she wants me to respond when she wants me to respond. My mom has been out here for the week and just went back home today and was actually bringing me my son so I could keep away from that house and distance myself even more. Yesteday was the first time I had to go back over and start getting him for myself. She usually talks to me about him and she was telling me about his hat and she called me babe then quickly said David which is my name. I think she was looking for a reaction because she’s talked to me multiple times about my son when I go over and has never called me babe. Probably because it was the first time I showed my face back over there and she hasn’t known what I’ve been doing. I heard her say it but didn’t even react and paid attention to my son. That’s basically what I do every time I pick him. It’s super fast maybe 30 seconds or less I get him and we get out.

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Don't allow your child to be collateral damage in your war with her. Set up appropriate communication and co-parenting. Be cooperative ("friendly") and communicate promptly if it's about your child rather than play passive-aggressive games.

 

You are not hurting her with your antics, you are hurting yourself and sadly, most of all - your child. Set up appropriate visitation/custody and child support, including a neutral place to facilitate visitation if needed.. Don't screw over your child to get to your ex. Most horrible mistake angry partners can make. Get some counselling to deal with the anger and learn good co-parenting skills.

I’m really confused about all of this is how fast she wanted to try to say we can be friends.

 

It’s like she wants me to respond when she wants me to respond. Yesteday was the first time I had to go back over and start getting him for myself. She usually talks to me about him. That’s basically what I do every time I pick him. It’s super fast maybe 30 seconds or less I get him and we get out.

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Don't allow your child to be collateral damage in your war with her. Set up appropriate communication and co-parenting. Be cooperative ("friendly") and communicate promptly if it's about your child rather than play passive-aggressive games.

 

You are not hurting her with your antics, you are hurting yourself and sadly, most of all - your child. Set up appropriate visitation/custody and child support, including a neutral place to facilitate visitation if needed.. Don't screw over your child to get to your ex. Most horrible mistake angry partners can make. Get some counselling to deal with the anger and learn good co-parenting skills.

 

We have stuff in place already we split time with him evenly everyday. I get him at 6:15 until 7:30 and they get home at 5:30. We split the daycare costs as well. She normally doesn’t even keep him the full time and looks for me to get him earlier sometimes so she can play her video game it’s sad. I’m doing well with the parenting aspect because we have stuff in place already but she will still send the message of what the plan is even though she was the one who said she didn’t want to have the conversation everyday and just to get him at 6:15 but then will send messages about what the plan is. All I’m doing is stuff for my son and trying to ignore her as much as possible because I did nothing to this time to deserve what happened to me. I’m always the one to reach out and try to fix things or make things better or be supportive of her and show I care after we break up but this time I haven’t. Only time she got me was last Monday when she had her breakdown and felt like she needed to tell me all of her feelings because she trusts me and is most comfortable with me and wants me to be her friend and part of her support system. She kept apologizing saying she wish this never happened and how confused with life she is. We lived together for the 9 years and are both 28 we were together as well so we have a lot of history. We live in an extremely small town of 18000 people and she hasn’t made any real friends besides the people she plays video games with all the time of the people she watches play video games. When I told her I didn’t want to be friends and said she has all those people she plays video games with or watches play video games she says they aren’t real people which is what I had been trying to tell her but she didn’t care before. It’s like I have no idea what to do. I want to be back with her and I feel she needs help with the video game stuff but when I tried to tell her about it she would just ignore me. It has literally taken over her life like an addiction. Maybe that’s her way of just not having to deal with anything because I know people distract themselves a lot when they don’t want to deal with there situation and she has always been one of those people.

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You can agree to "be her friend and support system" until she "meets" some other guy online via the video game chat. Then it will be so long, calikid!

 

I'm pretty sure you're going to say "but that would NEVER happen!"

 

That’s why I’m not doing that bolt. I told her I would but haven’t done anything to make that friendship happen at all and I think she got the hint because she texted me trying to say something like hey or offer me rides and I say no or am very short with her with my answers to any of her questions.

 

She now is leaving me alone unless it pretains to our son. She has her counseling she’s going to now so I don’t feel like being her support system or friend. She’s told me before she doesn’t know what she would do if I wasn’t part of her life at al in any capacity and now she’s finding that out.

 

I’m only there for my son. Since her whole breakdown on the 21st where I feel like I got suckered in and haven’t tried to make any contact so it’s only been 10 days now. The longest we’ve ever been broken up for is a month. This breakup stuff has only happened since April of last year where we’ve broken up multiple times.

 

That’s also why I told her to talk to her video games “friends” and she tells me there not real like actually there and she feels comfortable with me and trust me. Well then why did you let me go?

 

I feel she really is confused with her life right now but I feel like there is nothing I can do to help her and she has to do it on her own.

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Yes, I agree.

 

I love this woman with everything I have so it’s hard but I was supportive and loving when we did get back together for the 7 months and gave it everything I had to end up getting hurt in the end. She knows I’ve made changes and she said I became the man she knew I could always be. It’s like I want to help her but she has to do it on her own. I’ve literally been there for her through everything she had went through in the last 9 years when at times no one else was. Even her and her mom had problems and of course it was me that was there.

 

When we spoke on the 21st she was still giving me the same stuff that she doesn’t know what she wants in life or how to be happy and that she’s confused yet will tell me she doesn’t want to be with me because she doesn’t have any feelings for me as far as a relationship goes. She wants me to be happy and find someone I deserve that loves as much as I do. Not caring that what I think I deserve is her.

 

I’ve never left her when things got hard ever because I get relationships go through things and you have to be willing to grow and get better. I know she was so emotionally drained over the 7 months because she very much likes to help everyone she possibly can and I’ve tried to tell her to not always do that. Focus on just are family and stop trying to helping everyone else out who wouldn’t do the same for you.

 

Right now I’m back to NC we have something in place for our son where we split time with him everyday evenly. We have the times set as well. We still have to see each other for at least a minute when I pick up my son.

 

2 days ago she told me she wanted to sit down with me and talk about something with our sons daycare. I told her to just text me it because I don’t want to be in the same room as her. I didn’t tell her I don’t want to be in the same room as her though. She then responds with she will text me when she has the brain to make it make sense and hasn’t texted me about the situation since. Which I feel like she just wanted to get me in the house because she could easily text me the situation.

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Something else to note is that she does suffer from anxiety and depression but refuses to take medication because she doesn’t want to get addicted to it. She has started counseling last Friday.

 

She told me when she had her breakdown on the 21st that her depression was at its worst. After we broke up on January 4th I tried to figure out why she says she doesn’t have feelings for me anymore and other questions to try to understand her and she would tell me she doesn’t know or that she doesn’t want to talk about it which sucks because how am I supposed to know what went wrong when she says she doesn’t know or can’t have that conversation with me. To say that she’s till confused and doesn’t know what she wants in life after and when I ask her what she wants she says she doesn’t know but if I say if we will ever get back together she says right now she doesn’t that much she’s knows but doesn’t know what the future holds.

 

That doesn’t make much sense if she’s saying she has no feelings for me. I feel truly like maybe she does have to work on herself. This relationship started when we were 18. We were doing LDR for a year and I had her move out to Cali with me. We left Cali after 2 years then moved to Colorado and were there for 4 years and we moved again to Missouri and we’ve been here for 3years. She’s had a lot of problems in her younger life that she has told me about such as her uncle sexually assaulting her and that her stepdad was physically abusive and would beat her. When we were in our LDR she was staying with her uncle because her and her mom weren’t getting along.

 

She had to take care of her uncle not the one who sexually assaulted her because he was unstable at times and would do crazy things. One time we were on the phone and her uncle tried to commit sucide and I just stuck on the phone to try to support her. She told me that this uncle was like a father to her and a few years down the line she found out he died and she was extremely devastated because she hoped he would walk her down the aisle and I was as supportive as I could be in that situation.

 

She has truly gone through a lot where I haven’t had many bad situations happen in my life. I’m very much a huge lover and I like to show affection by cuddling or pda and she’s the opposite and she lets me do it because that’s the way I love but she told me she has issue with that type of love because of the sexual assault stuff.

 

Overall with her being in counseling and actually taking the time to try to figure herself out maybe she will realize that I did exactly what I said I was going to do and be a better man and proved it. She’s really never taken the time for herself and has said things like she doesn’t know who she is if she isn’t my gf or mom to our son. I’ll never know if she’s just confused or really doesn’t have any feelings for me it’s hard to tell with her mental state.

 

Something else to note is when we did break up this final time she acted very mean towards me like if to push me away because she knows that I normally try to figure things out and come back to her. With the way things ended this time It should have been me who was the one who was upset after everything she did. I don’t know if the things she was saying was just to push me as far away as she could because she even went as far as to say I was the cause of her anxiety and depression. That was before she talked about her emotions on the 21st where she said she was till depressed and it was worse and we weren’t even together. She had also told me when we were together that I was the one who always calmed her anxiety then wanted to flip that around after she broke up with me.

 

It’s really hard to figure her out right now with her mental state which sucks because I want to be there but not as a friend.

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So the thing she loves to do to me is today when I went over there it was business like usual get my son and leave not even acknowledge her and she tells me you don’t even say hi to me anymore what’s my problem and I say nothing and she says you obviously have a problem when in reality I’m trying to do NC with her and she thinks that’s me being mean or that I have a problem with her.

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It seems she’s just being more mean because I’m doing NC. Today when I went over there my son had one sock on and she gave me 2 socks because she couldn’t find the missing one and it’s 60 degrees outside so I wasn’t going to put his socks and she tells me what the are you thinking all because I wasn’t going to put his socks on when it’s not even cold. I just ignored that and got my son and left. She used to always say the one thing she hated more than anything was being ignored and that’s what NC is. I felt that her talking to me like that was disrespectful and for no reason at all that warranted that but I didn’t give any type of reaction to it.

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Don't do this to your kid. Stop making him a pawn in this power struggle and tug-of-war. You need to get over her. You need to love your child more than this power struggle and petty bs with her. Take the high road.

 

Realize it's over. Realize you have an innocent child to care about. Realize "nc" is nonsense if you need to co-parent. Realize that being provocative and petty and combative is not helping you or your son nor is it even getting to her (since that is your motive). You are making yourself crazy much more than she is.

Today when I went over there my son had one sock on and she gave me 2 socks because she couldn’t find the missing one and it’s 60 degrees outside so I wasn’t going to put his socks and she tells me what the are you thinking all because I wasn’t going to put his socks on when it’s not even cold. I just ignored that and got my son and left.
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Don't do this to your kid. Stop making him a pawn in this power struggle and tug-of-war. You need to get over her. You need to love your child more than this power struggle and petty bs with her. Take the high road.

 

Realize it's over. Realize you have an innocent child to care about. Realize "nc" is nonsense if you need to co-parent. Realize that being provocative and petty and combative is not helping you or your son nor is it even getting to her (since that is your motive). You are making yourself crazy much more than she is.

 

We have stuff in place for our son but when I go to pick him up she always seems to try to get a reaction out of me and it was only after I started doing NC.All I try to do is just pick up my son so I can hang out with him and sometimes it goes smooth and sometimes she just wants to say extra stuff for no reason and I don’t give it any attention when she does I just let her say whatever she wants. It’s becoming hard to co parent because I feel like I have to do a lot more stuff like shower potty training and things of that nature because she is so addicted to playing the video game or watching people play the video game that she is barley giving him attention yet if I say something about it she just ignores it and denies. She’s very much just caring about herself right now and it’s effecting my son. There’s days she will not go to work and take my son to daycare while she stays home to play the video game. I go to school all week so I can’t do anything about that. I just have no idea what’s going on with her anymore it’s like I don’t even know the person.

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So with the whole co parenting thing she decided to stay home yesterday with our son for whatever reason she said he was sick and typically as long as he doesn’t have strep she would bring him in. Well she didn’t go to work and stayed home with him and I got him at my usual time of 6:15 and when I bring him back and 7:30 he goes to bed so she had 5 hours to do any type of work and she tells me she’s exhausted at that point when in reality she plays the video game the whole time. Then today comes and she doesn’t go again to take him to the doctors appointment and all the doctor said is he has a cough just take cough medicine and when he’s been with me he hasn’t had a fever or even looked sick. I really think it was an excuse to stay home and play her game since we’ve always taken him to school unless it was something that was contagious. So she then texts me today saying if there’s anyway I can take my son earlier today because with her staying at home yesterday and today she’s so far behind on work. Meanwhile my last 2 days I’ve had work and school and am very involved with things at my school where I normally don’t get home until late.

 

She then says she is asking me because she hasn’t bothered me to help her yesterday or today even though both days I’ve been at school trying to accomplish things. She’s asking if I have the opportunity to help but she has had time to get it done. Our son takes naps he took a 3 hour nap yesterday and the whole time she played the game. So in situations like these she would be asking me for help but she tries to use my son as a way for me to in reality help her. When he’s with me I still have to get my work done for school regardless if I’m tired and like I said she’s had good amounts of time to get it done but has chosen to play the video game since that’s all she’s doing with her life now. When it comes to situations like these I don’t feel that’s fair co parenting at all. She chose to put off work then expects me to take my son so she can get it done and rather than thanking me for it she would say something like thanks for taking care of your child rather than acknowledging I would helping her.

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