She changed her mind again

Hello guys!

So i was with that girl. She had a bad breakup with her BF who left her for another girl (they were together 2 years) about 3 months before that. I know her boyfriend since we live in a small town. At first we started seeing each other just for fun. She said to me she's not ready to be with anybody right now because she finished her relationship just recently. However after a month or so she said to me she fell in love with me and wants to be with me. She moved to another city for work but it was not too far from my town so i could visit her twice or 3 times a week. It was all good until one day after a fight she told me she doesnt want to argue again and have problems like in the old relationship and she wants to be alone. I tried to convince her that i care about her but she didn't want to hear it so we broke up.

She called me again after 2 weeks and said she made a terrible mistake, that she wants to be with me so we got back together. 2 weeks later we had another small fight after which she told me that she still has feelings for her ex.. she tried to love me but she can't and she wants to be alone. So we broke up and the story was finished for me. However, a month later she texted me that she misses me and wants us to be friends. Just friends because she sees me as friend. So i agreed because i was over her for a good part and we started texting from time to time. We agreed for a coffee a week after that. When we finally met i told her that i had a one night stand with some girl and she was really hurt by that since i didn't tell her that while we were texting. She told me she has real feelings for me now and that she wants to be with me. I refused at first but she convinced me to come to her place a few days later and it seemed like she really cares about me. However she said that she's scared of new relationship and doesn't want to be hurt again but she would try with me again because she really likes me. We had a nice conversaion and shared a kiss in the end. That night i texted her if she still has feeling for her ex and kind of went hard on her asking more questions. She said she doesn't care about him anymore but got mad at me saying that she doesn't want anything with me anymore because i remind her of her ex too much.

We didnt text each other for a few days after that but yesterday i texted her if she wants to meet with me. She said no and said to leave her alone because she wants to forget everything about her past. She seemed really cold. So my question is why did she change her mind so fast? Do you think she still has feelings for her ex or she's just afraid to be hurt again so decided to stay single? It has passed about 9 months now since she broke up with her ex so i think she should be over it by now.

Sorry to hear this. The hot/cold roller coaster ride is unfortunately typical of a rebound relationship.

Sorry to hear this. The hot/cold roller coaster ride is unfortunately typical of a rebound relationship.

Yes i realized that i was her rebound but after a month and a half of not seeing each other i really thought that something has changed and that she's ready for something serious after she told me that.

She either still has feelings for her ex, or she's just not all that into you. Or some combination of both.

She might also have met another guy entirely as is weighing out her options there.

Whatever the case, there have been too many starts and stops with this girl for it to ever work out well between you two. I would cut ties altogether so you can find someone who is ready and keen to date you.

She either still has feelings for her ex, or she's just not all that into you. Or some combination of both.

 

She might also have met another guy entirely as is weighing out her options there.

 

Whatever the case, there have been too many starts and stops with this girl for it to ever work out well between you two. I would cut ties altogether so you can find someone who is ready and keen to date you.

I have to agree with you, it's unhealthy for me to stay close to her.

You got with her too soon after her break up. Sorry, but you were a rebound.

Block, delete and move on, unless you like a lot of drama. This whole scenario is ridiculous! There must be other girls you can date!

You cannot be friends!

Even if she's actually getting over her ex, she's not ready to date again. Sometimes it takes a long while to do so. She will keep changing her mind if you continue to see her, and you'll be left hurt and confused again.

Block, delete and move on. You owe her nothing.

Even if she's actually getting over her ex, she's not ready to date again. Sometimes it takes a long while to do so. She will keep changing her mind if you continue to see her, and you'll be left hurt and confused again.

 

Block, delete and move on. You owe her nothing.

Yes i will move on, i don't have other choice. But i just don't understand how can she change her mind all of a sudden. First it really looks like she has strong feelings for me and the next day she doesn't want to see me anymore although i did nothing wrong. I seriously started to think she's got some bipolar condition. Or is it really so common for women in this stage to change their mind so quick?

Expect a wild range of emotions and confusion in someone who just exited a LTR and now tries to quickly jump into another one.

I seriously started to think she's got some bipolar condition.

Or is it really so common for women in this stage to change their mind so quick?

Yes. It's common for people who are not over their exes to be in conflict between a desire to be close to someone, and not being able to cope with it when it happens. No bipolar necessary. For this reason, I do not even TRY to date within a year of a relationship breakdown. I wouldn't advise anyone else to stay in a relationship where they are an obvious rebound - sadly, like yourself.