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Thread: This girl

  1. #1

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    This girl

    Hey guys first time posting her, I never used a forum before for this kind of problem but I really require outside help now, the story is I've know this girl now for the best part of 10 years but roughly 4 years ago I started developing feelings for he, after a while I decided to confess and was shot down in the spot but we continued to hang out as friends and started to become closer and closer about 2 years ago we had a big fight because all our friends were seeing us always together and were always pestering us to start dating... We stopped talking for a whole month her sister told me she got herself locked in her room crying for hours, we started go get along again but not the same in the beginning of 2017 I decided I wanted to spend more time with her she didn't want that much but little by little we started hanging out more frequently and I asked our friends to stop pestering us and they respected and stopped not much happened the rest of that year but in 2018 we became really close and in the beginning of summer I was with a huge depression from my work and when I was talking to her letting my feelings out she said to me she didn't let us advance or try anything cuz shes afraid of ruining our friendship but since then she's been treating me completely different from our other friends like I do sh*t she always gets mad at me like she has a higher standard for me and we started having arguments more frequently to the point it looks like a couples fight and recently a common friend we have told me when he asked her if she didn't like me she said she didn't know anymore and when he pressured her to say yes or no she said no but avoided the conversation, and here I am I like her I'm having a wonderful time with her we go on walks, help a dog shelter, dinner, I buy her stuff she buys me stuff and I don't know if I should continue perusing her romantically or just give up... (since yesterday I've stop responding to her until I can get my head straight)

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Close male/female relationships such as this kind, when one has a crush on the other, cannot continue for a lifetime. They can happen when both people are single, but when she get a serious bf, he won't likely accept her hanging out with a guy who has a crush on her (he will know or he might find out if she's truthful if he asks her what the deal is), and you will be pushed out of her life.

    As for you, your close friendship with her and your feelings for her are preventing you from being emotionally free to pursue a romantic partner. If you did start dating someone now, she would also know of your feelings for your crush, as most women are pretty intuitive about these things. If I dated a guy and found out he had a crush on a close female friend, it'd be the last date I had with him. You will be scaring away good prospects if you're clinging to a person who really isn't meant to be in your life forever.

    Some people are meant to be in your life forever, and some for only a short time, and that's okay. It will be sad to let someone go who you've known for a decade, but it's for your own good to move onto the next chapter of your life. Let her know the reason you must end the friendship, and if she's a mature person, she will understand. If she doesn't understand, oh well. You're the one driving the bus. Good luck.

  3. #3

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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Close male/female relationships such as this kind, when one has a crush on the other, cannot continue for a lifetime. They can happen when both people are single, but when she get a serious bf, he won't likely accept her hanging out with a guy who has a crush on her (he will know or he might find out if she's truthful if he asks her what the deal is), and you will be pushed out of her life.

    As for you, your close friendship with her and your feelings for her are preventing you from being emotionally free to pursue a romantic partner. If you did start dating someone now, she would also know of your feelings for your crush, as most women are pretty intuitive about these things. If I dated a guy and found out he had a crush on a close female friend, it'd be the last date I had with him. You will be scaring away good prospects if you're clinging to a person who really isn't meant to be in your life forever.

    Some people are meant to be in your life forever, and some for only a short time, and that's okay. It will be sad to let someone go who you've known for a decade, but it's for your own good to move onto the next chapter of your life. Let her know the reason you must end the friendship, and if she's a mature person, she will understand. If she doesn't understand, oh well. You're the one driving the bus. Good luck.

    The thing is neither of us are looking for dates or anything we always go out together and don't really mingle most of the time we go out we stay alone

  4. #4
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    Personally if sheís not willing to take it to the next step then you need to take away your attention from her.

    Iíd tell her straight up that your into her and you want to have a romantic relationship with her. If she says no then she doesnít want you. Somewhere she has doubts about you. You spent years trying to be with her and she still not having it. The reason she doesnít want to be with you is irrelevant. Only thing that matters is that you are in the friend zone.

    Tell her whatís up say that you want her on a deeper level that you want all of her and if you donít like how she responds or blows you off tell her that you understand and respect it. Tell her to text you if she changes your mind. Itíll make you extremely attractive. Google Corey Wayne friendzone.

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  6. #5

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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    Personally if sheís not willing to take it to the next step then you need to take away your attention from her.

    Iíd tell her straight up that your into her and you want to have a romantic relationship with her. If she says no then she doesnít want you. Somewhere she has doubts about you. You spent years trying to be with her and she still not having it. The reason she doesnít want to be with you is irrelevant. Only thing that matters is that you are in the friend zone.

    Tell her whatís up say that you want her on a deeper level that you want all of her and if you donít like how she responds or blows you off tell her that you understand and respect it. Tell her to text you if she changes your mind. Itíll make you extremely attractive. Google Corey Wayne friendzone.
    Yes I also think this might be the best course of action I just got confused when my friend told me she wasn't sure anymore

  7. #6
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    Honestly man you could find another girl who doesnít carry around all this baggage. Look at all this time you spent on this. She knows sheís in control. Take back your pride. You are the man you need to be one.

    Donít waste your time any longer. Go for it and donít take any less than what you want. Even if you donít end up with her she will respect you for walking away. Make sure you mean it. It needs to be her idea to be with you. Tbh IMO itís your only shot to be with her. If it doesnít work youíll find better. Stay strong!!

  8. #7

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    Originally Posted by Austino96
    Honestly man you could find another girl who doesnít carry around all this baggage. Look at all this time you spent on this. She knows sheís in control. Take back your pride. You are the man you need to be one.

    Donít waste your time any longer. Go for it and donít take any less than what you want. Even if you donít end up with her she will respect you for walking away. Make sure you mean it. It needs to be her idea to be with you. Tbh IMO itís your only shot to be with her. If it doesnít work youíll find better. Stay strong!!

    Thanks I appreciate very much the help I will try

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Firstly, that post was hard to read. Maybe next time, use some full stops to make sentences.

    Next, if you like a girl enough to ask her out, but she rejects you, walk away. Hanging on for years in hope that things will change is what I call friendzoning yourself. Some nice little blue pilled, nice guy, that hopes by hanging out and doing all the right things that she will decide you are suddenly boyfriend material and choose to date you. Now, you have just wasted that time on some uptight fantasy woman that liked having you around for 'friendship' but never thought anything more of you. You've let yourself be her doormat, proud that you let her wipe her feet on you.

    Walk away, there is never going to be a time where you will be together with this girl.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member superfan's Avatar
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    You asked her and she gave you an answer. She's not into you.

    Don't pay attention to what friends are saying. They are not her. They cannot speak for her feelings. Only she can and she already did. Respect that.

    If you feel you cannot remain friends only with her then stop hanging out with her for your own sanity. She's done nothing wrong here. She's been honest with you and unless she tells you differently, her feelings have not changed. Don't be the guy who keeps pushing. Women don't like or respect that guy.


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