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Thread: Would you accept this? Too ill to see me but has dinner with ex girlfriend

  1. #21
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree too, just end it. No need for pointless sex, a vacation that's going nowhere and dragging out an obvious ending.

  2. #22
    Gold Member East4's Avatar
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    This is playing games and unlikely to help the OP get past a hurtful experience.
    I see it as level the playing field. And teaching a lesson.
    What are the other options, let's see:

    1) she cancels the holidays and her BF takes his ex instead, ouch! Plus, she would lose a good amount of money-2 weeks in Mexico from the UK, must be pricey
    2) she calls him on his BS, he becomes defensive, she overreacts and loses all dignity-not nice either;
    3) she sweeps the incident under the rug and continues to act like the cool girlfriend-result: he pushes the envelope further and then next holidays they go the 3 of them-"her"BF, his ex and him! Lol, another ouch.

    She has to put her foot down and inflict some ego demage if this man-boy is about to come to his senses. Like they say "with the roses, be a rose; with the throns-be a thorn."

  3. #23
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by East4
    I see it as level the playing field. And teaching a lesson.
    What are the other options, let's see:

    1) she cancels the holidays and her BF takes his ex instead, ouch! Plus, she would lose a good amount of money-2 weeks in Mexico from the UK, must be pricey
    2) she calls him on his BS, he becomes defensive, she overreacts and loses all dignity-not nice either;
    3) she sweeps the incident under the rug and continues to act like the cool girlfriend-result: he pushes the envelope further and then next holidays they go the 3 of them-"her"BF, his ex and him! Lol, another ouch.

    She has to put her foot down and inflict some ego demage if this man-boy is about to come to his senses. Like they say "with the roses, be a rose; with the throns-be a thorn."
    What you are proposing is not only incredibly vindictive, but you'd have to be pretty pathological to actually pull that off...... I sincerely hope this is a fun to think about, but not something you are seriously advocating or would actually do yourself things.

    Sane people don't get into this kind messy drama/acting/revenge nonsense. They just walk away.

  4. #24
    Gold Member East4's Avatar
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    LFMO!

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  6. #25
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    I'm sorry Nadine but your bullshyt meter defintely needs some fine tuning.

    He lied to you. I mean he is okay enough to have dinner with his ex, but too "sick" to see you?

    I'm calling major bs on that and so should you.

    Dealbreaker actually..

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by nadineblack
    I spent the weekend in another city helping a girlfriend through a difficult time. He knew this.

    On Friday he was looking through old photos because he has to do a brief presentation about his life history at work. I was on the train and asked him to send me his favourite photo. He sends me a photo of him and his ex-girlfriend in Portugal. Apparently he thought it would be funny because my Mom now lives there.

    On Sunday I'm coming back on the train to London and he texts saying "Id love to see you tonight but my cough isnt fully gone. I didnt have any issues with it last night but I am worried it might flare up again and keep you awake".

    He does this all the time, says he wants to see me but already includes excuses at to why he might not be able too. Anyway, I told him that he should stay home, get some rest and hopefully cure that cough.

    I called him when I got home and I found out he had just been out for dinner with his ex-girlfriend. The same one from the picture. They're friends. I then said, "oh cool, so you're ok enough to come over to mine?" And he said "no, I don't really want to catch anymore cold air. I think I should stay in".

    Is this normal/nice behaviour? Would you accept it? Also, we have only been dating for 8-9 months!

    Also, we're going to Mexico on Saturday for 2 weeks. What do I do? Do I go? Do I dump him? The trip cost so much money ...
    I would dump his azz. The fact that he went out, after he told you that he could not see you, is awful. It is even worse that he went out with his ex. She takes priority over you.. Honey, he does value you or the relationship.

    I would cancel. I would not care about the cost. What are the terms for the air ticket and hotels?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
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    I would grab a girlfriend and go to Mexico and have a great time without his cheating a$$.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by East4
    I see it as level the playing field. And teaching a lesson.
    What are the other options, let's see:

    1) she cancels the holidays and her BF takes his ex instead, ouch! Plus, she would lose a good amount of money-2 weeks in Mexico from the UK, must be pricey
    2) she calls him on his BS, he becomes defensive, she overreacts and loses all dignity-not nice either;
    3) she sweeps the incident under the rug and continues to act like the cool girlfriend-result: he pushes the envelope further and then next holidays they go the 3 of them-"her"BF, his ex and him! Lol, another ouch.

    She has to put her foot down and inflict some ego demage if this man-boy is about to come to his senses. Like they say "with the roses, be a rose; with the throns-be a thorn."
    Why even bother. This would show a lack of self respect and too much emotional involvement. The adult thing would be to move on.

    She loses her "dignity" if she follows your plan.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why even bother. This would show a lack of self respect and too much emotional involvement. The adult thing would be to move on.

    She loses her "dignity" if she follows your plan.
    I agree Holls. There is no bringing such person to his "senses."

    That's her playing mom, which is not conducive to anything even remotely resembling a healthy dynamic.

    Just move on, the end.

  11. #30
    Gold Member LC8328's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by East4
    I see it as level the playing field. And teaching a lesson.
    What are the other options, let's see:

    1) she cancels the holidays and her BF takes his ex instead, ouch! Plus, she would lose a good amount of money-2 weeks in Mexico from the UK, must be pricey
    2) she calls him on his BS, he becomes defensive, she overreacts and loses all dignity-not nice either;
    3) she sweeps the incident under the rug and continues to act like the cool girlfriend-result: he pushes the envelope further and then next holidays they go the 3 of them-"her"BF, his ex and him! Lol, another ouch.

    She has to put her foot down and inflict some ego demage if this man-boy is about to come to his senses. Like they say "with the roses, be a rose; with the throns-be a thorn."
    Uh, wow. OK.

    Hey OP, LHGirl has given you the soundest advice in my opinion. The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Leave that messy drama behind and put up some walls between you and him. Don't play his games and move on to better things and better people. Sorry this happened to you. Good luck.

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