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Is this an advance?


jillyy9

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My husband and I own a farm and we rent out some property (cottages) for a little extra income. Recently I received a letter from a guy who stayed on our farm a few years ago. A youngish guy in his 20s , who stayed with his parents. He asked how I was and how things were on our farm, and he also sent a recent pic of himself. We were hardly good friends or anything like that, but we would acknowledge each other with a "hello" if we passed each other on the farm or in the town. He is quite good looking. Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants! I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband.

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If he didn't address it to your husband as well, it could be he's wanting to contact you for unseemly activity. I would tell your husband what you received, and how inappropriate it is, and throw the letter and the photo away. A person who is trying to destroy a marriage is garbage. This was a business activity, there was no friendship, and the letter is strange, so that's where it belongs--in the garbage.

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How old are you? Is there a huge age gap? Or are you about his age?

 

I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he wants you sexually or romantically if he’s never made any indications as such. If he was young when he lived there - maybe he was just fond of the time he was there or is going through a hard time or doesn’t have a ton of friends, etc.

 

In your shoes, I would respond to the letter but pepper it a lot with “my husband and I are fine” and a lot of “we” statements (ie: “we are doing a bunch of renovations”, etc). Don’t talk about yourself only, insert your husband’s name in everything you say. Lol!

 

That kills two birds with one stone - it’s being friendly (if you want to be) - but it’s also sending a clear signal that you are happy with your husband.

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I would let your husband know.

 

It is very strange that this guy would make contact out of the blue like this; if he continues to make unsolicited and unwanted contact, it's better that you are transparent with your husband now so you don't wind up creating needless suspicion for not coming clean upon the first incident.

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I would reply from you and your husband and say its nice to see that he is doing well and that the farm is well and you are working on planning next years crop and hope his parents are well. I have had similar situations where someone i tutored younger people and they send me a high school graduation or college picture etc. He might have fond memories of the farm. He might have addressed it to you if you were chatty with his mother, or you were the one that they addressed the rent check to. I would take it at face value.

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I could be wrong, but "his motive" is obvious, (imo). Either way, are you wondering if you should reply to him without telling your husband?

 

Yes! I'm happily married, but I must admit getting a letter out of the blue is quite flattering. I'd like to reply, even if just to be "friendly" but if it would cause any tension in the marriage I would be reluctant.

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Yes! I'm happily married, but I must admit getting a letter out of the blue is quite flattering. I'd like to reply, even if just to be "friendly" but if it would cause any tension in the marriage I would be reluctant.

 

Have you shown your husband the letter? Did you tell him about it?

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Yes, but you're interpreting it as a come on when it's clearly not.

 

I believe it's as other posters said, he saw you as a mother figure and has nice memories of your farm. He, no doubt wanted to just say hello and see how you and your husband are doing.

 

If he's young enough to be your son and you reply in a "friendly manner" you could very well either weird him out or embarass him. It would be like his mom hitting on him.

 

This to me screams of you being bored in your marriage, Jilly. Making this letter into some kind of fantasy. If that's true, you need to be talking to your husband about it and not making a young guy your hope for excitement.

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My guess is that he probably is trying to test if I'm open to something amorous or sexual. The pic he sent wasn't of him doing anything related to his stay on our farm, it was more of a selfie. I'm not sure whether to tell my husband and try laugh the mater off or just throw the letter away and forget it.

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My guess is that he probably is trying to test if I'm open to something amorous or sexual. The pic he sent wasn't of him doing anything related to his stay on our farm, it was more of a selfie. I'm not sure whether to tell my husband and try laugh the mater off or just throw the letter away and forget it.

 

Seriously? what exactly did the letter say to make you think that? This is all in your head. And i am sure the photo was not provocative in nature. you know, it used to be standard to send updated photos of yourself or the kids n letters. I would loosen up, either tell your husband that you have received a nice note from the kid wondering how the farm was doing or don't mention it and simply reply back like how i told you to do.

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