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Thread: Is this an advance?

  1. #1

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    Is this an advance?

    My husband and I own a farm and we rent out some property (cottages) for a little extra income. Recently I received a letter from a guy who stayed on our farm a few years ago. A youngish guy in his 20s , who stayed with his parents. He asked how I was and how things were on our farm, and he also sent a recent pic of himself. We were hardly good friends or anything like that, but we would acknowledge each other with a "hello" if we passed each other on the farm or in the town. He is quite good looking. Is he making a subtle amorous advance towards me? I don't usually receive letters from past tenants! I'm not sure if I should mention it to my husband.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    If he didn't address it to your husband as well, it could be he's wanting to contact you for unseemly activity. I would tell your husband what you received, and how inappropriate it is, and throw the letter and the photo away. A person who is trying to destroy a marriage is garbage. This was a business activity, there was no friendship, and the letter is strange, so that's where it belongs--in the garbage.

  3. #3
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    How old are you? Is there a huge age gap? Or are you about his age?

    I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he wants you sexually or romantically if he’s never made any indications as such. If he was young when he lived there - maybe he was just fond of the time he was there or is going through a hard time or doesn’t have a ton of friends, etc.

    In your shoes, I would respond to the letter but pepper it a lot with “my husband and I are fine” and a lot of “we” statements (ie: “we are doing a bunch of renovations”, etc). Don’t talk about yourself only, insert your husband’s name in everything you say. Lol!

    That kills two birds with one stone - it’s being friendly (if you want to be) - but it’s also sending a clear signal that you are happy with your husband.

  4. #4
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    I would let your husband know.

    It is very strange that this guy would make contact out of the blue like this; if he continues to make unsolicited and unwanted contact, it's better that you are transparent with your husband now so you don't wind up creating needless suspicion for not coming clean upon the first incident.

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  6. #5

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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    How old are you? Is there a huge age gap? Or are you about his age?
    I'm old enough to be his mother. Maybe he likes more mature women?

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by jillyy9
    I'm old enough to be his mother. Maybe he likes more mature women?
    Yeah... I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that it’s sexual in nature.

    Yes - show your husband for sure. See what he has to say.

  8. #7
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jillyy9
    I'm old enough to be his mother. Maybe he likes more mature women?
    Where are you going with this?

  9. #8
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    If it was just a letter I would take it at face value, but since he sent a photo and adrressed it only to you I think it's safe to say he's looking for some MILF action.

    Ask your husband for his interpretation.

  10. #9

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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    Where are you going with this?
    Trying to understand his motive, and wondering if I should reply to him.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I wouldn't take that as an advance. He might have seen you as a mother figure or a sister. Don't make a fool out of yourself and assume it's amorous.

    And yes, tell your husband.

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