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Thread: Found the one.....sheís married

  1. #11
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    If you were not infatuated with her, then you would not react defensively to comments.

    Try to look at the situation as an outsider (tough, I know).

    If you can do that?

    You'd see how you need to walk away from this lady.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    If you were not infatuated with her, then you would not react defensively to comments.

    Try to look at the situation as an outsider (tough, I know).

    If you can do that?

    You'd see how you need to walk away from this lady.
    If you are speaking about texasd123, That wasnít my comment, that was metaltwin speaking her mind. Trust me when I say I am looking at it from all angles, and am open to all comments whether good or bad.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Texas,

    You know what to do so just do it. Ignoring your conscious and character can only go on so long.

    There are literally hundreds and hundreds of threads on this forum where a spouse is in a loveless marriage, they are like roommates, he/she cheats, he/she is abusive, alcoholic and on and on. Most of the time it is an excuse to justify cheating and even if it is true it only justifies divorce.

    If she is all that then you can wait and she can file for divorce if it is truly that horrible. After all did you plan on her staying married forever?

    The first lies told in infidelity are to ourselves...

    Lost

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Metaltwin70
    'Let her know if and when she gets divorced you would be happy to start fresh once she has healed from the end of her marriage'.

    Oh yes. Because life works like a self-help book. You divorce, you heal, you meet someone you fall in love with, they fall in love with you and you live happily ever after..
    I reviewed the thread. Your reaction, by my estimation, was defensive.

    In any event, good luck in the future. Hopefully, disentangled.
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Are you being bitter or are you being serious?
    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    If you were not infatuated with her, then you would not react defensively to comments.

    Try to look at the situation as an outsider (tough, I know).

    If you can do that?

    You'd see how you need to walk away from this lady.
    Originally Posted by TexasD123
    If you are speaking about texasd123, That wasnít my comment, that was metaltwin speaking her mind. Trust me when I say I am looking at it from all angles, and am open to all comments whether good or bad.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    I reviewed the thread. Your reaction, by my estimation, was defensive.

    In any event, good luck in the future. Hopefully, disentangled.
    Uh, Jim. I believe you are referring to another post made by someone else, you see that wasnít me saying that, right?
    If anything, Iíve said I feel like a greedy jerk after receiving advice in this forum. Thatís all. Self critical and hardly defensive Capiche? No offense.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    I reviewed the thread. Your reaction, by my estimation, was defensive.

    In any event, good luck in the future. Hopefully, disentangled.
    Jim...that post wasn't written by the OP.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TexasD123
    Uh, Jim. I believe you are referring to another post made by someone else, you see that wasnít me saying that, right?
    If anything, Iíve said I feel like a greedy jerk after receiving advice in this forum. Thatís all. Self critical and hardly defensive Capiche? No offense.
    What does this mean then, Texas? Are you going to stop your trysts with her and tell her that you will be most happy to pick up again (if you are single) when she has divorced or at the very least living separately as she files and works on dissolving her 'miserable' marriage?

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by lostandhurt
    Texas,

    You know what to do so just do it. Ignoring your conscious and character can only go on so long.

    There are literally hundreds and hundreds of threads on this forum where a spouse is in a loveless marriage, they are like roommates, he/she cheats, he/she is abusive, alcoholic and on and on. Most of the time it is an excuse to justify cheating and even if it is true it only justifies divorce.

    If she is all that then you can wait and she can file for divorce if it is truly that horrible. After all did you plan on her staying married forever?

    The first lies told in infidelity are to ourselves...

    Lost
    Hey Lost, man, I appreciate you.

    The fact of the matter is that her and I have gotten to know each other pretty well, and now itís only getting deeper.
    I think her and I got lost, forgot where we were at and we need to get back to reality.
    I understand the excuses thing, the poor me, or my actions are justified, blah blah blah and etc from a damsel in distress. I honestly have never got any of that kind of behavior from her really.
    I view this situation differently from the norm that youíve described and thatís why its complicated. Itís only hard for her to get out because of $$, and she has stood firm on doing that on her own, for herself and with no help from anyone else.

    Thanks for giving her at least ďsomeĒ benefit of the doubt in what I say and in the person I have come know. Because not everybody or everything is always quite the same, and we are sometimes all too quick to pass judgement.

    Either way, emotional cheating.... I think your post is pretty much spot on. I found your opinion and advice as open, and even somewhat unbiased.
    Agreed... it is wrong and we all know it, including her. We have both already touched on that subject several times and I actually think she is waiting for ďMEĒ to do something about it. I really didnít know what to do and thatís why I came here. Now itís clear in what needs to happen.
    I think she will look back at this play no matter how much it may sting now, understand it and totally appreciate what I am about to do. And thatís to be a better individual, not just for me but for her too.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    What does this mean then, Texas? Are you going to stop your trysts with her and tell her that you will be most happy to pick up again (if you are single) when she has divorced or at the very least living separately as she files and works on dissolving her 'miserable' marriage?
    Yep, exactly. And no more interaction until said has begun the process.
    I donít mind being single, and after being in several relationships with stubborn, crazy, manipulative, rude and then being taken advantage of, I finally found one that wonít be those things and truly adores me. I already know her background, and itís consistent with what Iíve seen, remember...her sister is a close friend of mine.

    Now if I can hold out even longer from any bangy bangy, Iíd like to do that and not give it up until divorce is final. Wish me luck. Lol

  11. #20
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Yes, good luck. I hope she knows what she wants whether it be to be married to him or divorced and with you. Either way its time you found out and go from there. You appear to have a head on your shoulders so go forward using it and leave your heart off your sleeve for the time being.

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