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Thread: Boundaries / controlling - what’s accepting with opposite sex friends

  1. #1
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    Boundaries / controlling - what’s accepting with opposite sex friends

    I want to be trusting of my partner and work on any insecurities. What I struggle is not knowing whether I need to trust him or whether he is behaving in a way that crosses a line when in a relationship.

    How would people feel about their partner going on walks and lunches with an attractive single co-worker twice a week? What would it take for a line to be crossed for you?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Opinions are going to vary greatly on this one, I suspect.

    But if that were my boyfriend, I would not be okay with it. It's not for lack of trust but it seems disrespectful and it's not something I would particularly be comfortable with.

    That's just my two cents.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I wouldn't care. Especially if-- and I'm just guessing-- we're talking within the context of a work break / lunch. Though even if on a Saturday, it's whatever. But regardless of what anyone thinks, if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you. Rather than police his behavior, acknowledge who he is and find a better match.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yes, agreed.

    You can't tell people to stop doing things, so if it was not something you couldn't accept or be comfortable with, then you need to find another partner.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Would need more context. For me, it would depend.

  7. #6
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    Would it be OK with you if she were fat and ugly and old?

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Would it be OK with you if she were fat and ugly and old?
    Yes it would be OK :-(
    Last edited by Lucysm; 01-26-2019 at 12:49 PM.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Lucysm
    I want to be trusting of my partner and work on any insecurities. What I struggle is not knowing whether I need to trust him or whether he is behaving in a way that crosses a line when in a relationship.

    How would people feel about their partner going on walks and lunches with an attractive single co-worker twice a week? What would it take for a line to be crossed for you?
    I would not have any problem with it. I would trust my partner. If she were ugly, would it be different?

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Lucysm
    Yes it would be OK :-(
    This is about your insecurities.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Lucysm
    Yes it would be OK :-(
    So you're afraid your boyfriend will find this woman attractive and, I don't know, dump you for her?

    Do you think she's more attractive than you?

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