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Thread: Irritated

  1. #1
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    Irritated

    My husband has admitted he's selfish and doesn't seem bothered by that admission. He expects me to wait on him when I'm sick. I got mad at him and he threatened to call his mother and have her tell the right way to talk to people. ?! He didn't call her, but I almost had to beg him not too.
    Today the weather was crappy. So he did manage to take me to work but I was almost late. While on work he ordered $30 worth of Chinese food for himself?!

    I've tried talking to him but he only half listens to me. I don't know what to do anymore. He didn't used to be like this. He cares more about making money than spending time with me. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I may actually be better off without this marriage.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    He "threatened to tell his mother on you" and you "begged" him not to? What kind of a monster is she that you have to beg him not to tell her? I'd have said "here, let me call your mother and tell her what a selfish jerk you're being."

    Get out of the marriage if you're cowering and unhappy. See a lawyer at least and find out what your rights and obligations are.

  3. #3
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    I also think it's ridiculous that he felt the need to bring his mother into our disagreement. What kind of grown man does that crap.

  4. #4
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Yes you are better off without this marriage.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Why is his mother a threat to you? So much so that you'd beg him not to call her. I mean let him. Let him make a complete fool out of himself and if she dares say anything to you, you can then tell her what a lousy husband he has been lately.

    This sounds a bit like people will treat you how you let them. If you are being a doormat, then you'll get treated like one over and over. Time to stand up for yourself and start setting some rules and boundaries. You say that you talk to him, but there is talking and then there is talking and then there are actions. Men "hear" actions way more than words. So do your actions support what you want or is it more just talking, complaining and then you go make him a sandwich. If you just do the latter, of course he wont' hear you or take you seriously because you are just nagging, but then carry on with doing what he wants.

  7. #6
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    Something tells me you two often have arguments that dissolve in childish antics like the ones he displayed this time.

    "I'm calling my Mommy on you!" Dude, really? I would have passed him the phone and let him tattle. You are a grown woman, OP. You don't need to tolerate this but I am sensing that this is the dynamic of your marriage as a whole.

  8. #7
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    this is a situation that has obviously gone down the tubes and there is so much going on - on both sides - i don't think it's repairable.
    I agree with everybody else. Divorce and move on.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    "I got mad at him and he threatened to call his mother and have her tell the right way to talk to people. ?! He didn't call her, but I almost had to beg him not too."

    I didn't understand this. He said he would call his mother to tell you how you should talk to him and you were so scared of his mother (why?) that you had to beg him not to?

    Also, you work with him? Is it common for him to order lunch to both of you at work?

    But anyway, it's way too childish for him to react like that to an argument!

  10. #9
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    Assuming it's not a non-marriage, it's fallen out of balance.
    He's blatant disrespect has most likely be growing for years.

    And most likely, with your help.

    You have to re-balance the marriage.

  11. #10
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    "Upset
    I am beginning to feel as if my husband and I are merely room mates. He barely ever does anything special for me. The only time he pays attention to me is if he needs his fingers rubbed or wants sex. He forgot about Valentine's Day. I got my degree in the mail around the same time and I barely got a Congratulations. We didn't celebrate either one. I have told him about this before. Once he has even said that feelings can change. Also any time I try to get his attention he'll tell me he's busy. His job is very demanding and he is often exhausted too.

    What do I do about this?
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    B]"My husband is sending me mixed signals....
    I suspect my husband is having an emotional affair through text message. He meant his fishing buddy online.
    They exchange texts often. He used to lock all her messages (in that they could not be deleted) how ever they were still visible.

    I saw them one night and read some messages that caused alarm bells to go off. They sent funny selfies. And she has told him once that "She was thinking about him" and he responded with I like that. I confronted him on it and I probably had bad timing. But he assured me that they were just friends, that he wasn't cheating on me.

    I accepted for a bit. Until late last week when I looked on his phone and saw that he didn't keep the messages in the thread, like you could tell they had been deleted.
    I was offended but didn't know how to confront him on this.

    Over the weekend, we went to a bead show and he told his female friend. He told her how he was hoping to find this strong string. She responded that another reason she likes him is because he knows who he is.

    He told me she once told him she liked his hands because they are not manicured like other men

    While we were at one booth we were looking at rings and he mentioned he should get his female friend a ring cause she likes butterflies. My reaction was.... WHAT!?

    He kind of laughed it off at first but addressed it later when we left. His reasoning was friends give each other gifts and do things for each other.

    Last night before bed he sent her two messages. He let me read both, but I suspect out of guilt. The second message was about how he felt he needed to get mentally ready for work in the morning. She didn't respond to either (maybe alsleep).

    He doesn't think this is cheating because there hasn't been anything physical, but I feel he is having an emotional affair. I don't know how to handle this and each time he assures me that they are just friends. I'm scared."


    You have been having problems with this guy for some time! When are YOU going to take some action?

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