Lost

[bbyXo]

My husband and I are high school sweethearts.. but lately it just feels like we are totally disconnected. Communication is non existent and it feels like everything just turns into an argument which is exhausting. We are still very attracted to one another and have no problem with intimacy. I'm not sure if its just a rough patch we have to get through or what... I've expressed what I need from him and what I would like to change but I just think he doesn't want to hear it.. I am not quite sure what else I can do..

[arjumand]

Marital counseling, this is what it is for, to help with communication and find common ground.

[smackie9]

You should be asking him for his honesty what you can do for him. When you make demands, he doesn't feel very supported and will shut down, it looks very one sided. It's difficult for men to open up for fear of his partner lashing out or calling his needs frivolous. Be kind, and supportive, let him know you care what he thinks and what he needs and you are willing to listen.

[thisisrichey]

The problem is.... you never asked him what HE WANTS, and what HE WANTS to change to make him happier in this relatoinship. That is the problem.
As soon as it's all about you and only your needs - you lose them and they do not want to do things for you anymore.

Try sitting down and asking him what he'd like to see changed and what you can do to make him happy again. Then maybe you'll see some change and more willingness on his part to make you happy again too.

[ThatwasThen]

What are you bickering about mostly?

[catfeeder]

I've expressed what I need from him and what I would like to change

That's your agenda, but what's in it for him?

Negotiation means learning what is important to your partner so you can offer something of value to him in exchange for what's important to you. Bribery is the fine art of showing him why it's in his best interests to align with you.

Try sweetening the pot enough for you both to have wins out of deal.