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Thread: Regret..

  1. #1
    Member
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    Nov 2017
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    Regret..

    I will turn 20 years old in a few days. This is a writing of my thoughts, it's not really in order so just bear with me here please. I'm sorry. I just wanna hug her and tell her that I'm sorry for not doing anything to confess my feelings for her. I feel like everyday goes by, my soul keeps dying more and more. I just feel dead with no purpose. In adolesence I wasn't really accepted and loved for who I truly was so over-time I learnt how to supress my true-self and be something that I'm not just to fit in which so far I think was the biggest mistake of my life. About this girl, I fell in love with her the first time I saw her and to this day I haven't had the courage to tell her how I truly feel about her even if in 1 year and a half she has showed interest multiple times. Along with this, I don't have the courage to step up and do anything. I am terrified of being vulnerable and true to someone. She is from my class. I don't care about partying and meeting girls. There is this feeling of regret that has taken over me and it's horrible, unbearable. Today I have just cried for multiple hours straight. The thought that I was never able to be in love and just live I feel like I truly live are killing me on the inside. I know she won't be perfect. I have neglected my feelings for so many years that I don't even know who I truly am as a person. There's been years since I've truly been able to relax and let go. At the same time I don't wanna look pathetic in front of her. I have become someone who I am not. In reality I don't give a about how others think. I would be ready to risk everything to be with her, I just don't find the strength to do it. I don't have the strength to truly go for the girl that I really like or to follow my heart and live the life I wanna live. Any other activity I do, I feel like it's just a way of distracting myself from what I truly want, which is being with her. I regret everything so much. I have very low self-esteem along with scars on my body and I just felt like I don't deserve her. She looked like she was so confident and comfortable with herself and just scared the hell out of me. I don't know what to do. I'm writing this crying from my room. I'm sorry and hopeless and dead on the inside. I regret it so much...

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You really could use some therapy, your negative outlook on everything you've written here is bringing you down and making you a miserable person. Please get some counseling and learn how to live your life in an authentic way. There's no need for you to be the way you are.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree some therapy and seeing a doctor for a check up would help. Unfortunately this has been going on for quite a while: [Register to see the link]


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