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Struggling to move forward?


lilsunfl0wer

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Hello everyone! So — my boyfriend and I have been knowing each other for a year and few months but we make a year of dating on Valentine’s day!

 

Our honeymoon phase (1-3) was the best I could ever ask for, not complaining but as time progressed, it’s been up and down between us.. Currently what I have gathered from our connection, I found out (he doesn’t know that I know) that he’s been speaking to his ex (the one he was highly obsessed with years ago, I found nothing serious), add/texting girls on Snapchat, putting me off to hang with his friends, going HOURS leaving me on read but active on other social media, not including me in his plans but tells me after, and the list can go on.

 

I do have strong feelings for him, but I just don’t feel like he cares for me at all, or I hate to say this — “if I was the same race as him, it could be better.” His female friends get treated way better than I do, yet I do the absolute most for him. I was there for him when he lost both of his cars, got fired from his job, comforted him when his mom kicked him out, etc. and to get treated like this? I want to leave, but it makes me highly upset that he will let me walk away, no questions asked. This is the hardest time for me, I feel so down about it. Is there a healthy way to make him jealous because I feel like we invested so much time into this, something needs to be done.

 

Thanks y’all so much[emoji177]

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Invested so much time? Time is what gives you the opportunity to see if a person is a good or bad partner so you can make a wise decision about who to keep and who to kick to the curb. So his poor ethics and the fact that he ignores you and treats you like crap isn't a dealbreaker for you and you want to play games to capture his attention? Be single and work on your self esteem, or you will keep choosing men who treat you like garbage.

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No, there is no "healthy" way to make him jealous. The honeymoon phase is just that - a honeymoon - and isn't reflective of the whole relationship. It's great he put his best foot forward for a few months, but if you feel the need to snoop on him and he's talking to an ex/other women, it's time to gather up your self-respect and leave (whether he tries to stop you or not).

 

Ask yourself why you want to be with a person who has consistently shown that he doesn't care as much as you do, and why you're gut reaction is to play games. You're not going to find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated if you cling to shady men who refuse to give you what you need.

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Invested so much time? Time is what gives you the opportunity to see if a person is a good or bad partner so you can make a wise decision about who to keep and who to kick to the curb. So his poor ethics and the fact that he ignores you and treats you like crap isn't a dealbreaker for you and you want to play games to capture his attention? Be single and work on your self esteem, or you will keep choosing men who treat you like garbage.

 

I confronted him numerous amount of times.. Still nothing budges..

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Manipulation will not change who he is. What you see is what you will get. Given that he doesn't treat you well, remaining would be a very bad idea. When people don't value you and disrespect you, the healthy thing is to walk away NOT keep wasting time on them. What you got after the end of the honeymoon stage is the person he REALLY is. When a man shows you who he is, you need to believe them.

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You have wasted enough time with this guy. Don;t lose another year of your life.

 

You are low on the priority list. His ex, friends and other girls are more important..

 

You need to address why you have stick around for the disrespect and emotional cheating. Address your self esteem issues. Seek some therapy.

 

Move on from this creep. This is no future and you know that he does not care about or respect you. Do better for yourself!

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I confronted him numerous amount of times.. Still nothing budges..

 

Because he doesn't care about or respect you, and you know this. Good grief, why do you continue talking to him about this? His actions say it all.

 

I see we all advised you a year ago to ditch this creep, yet you continued.

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Sorry to hear this. What are the "ups and downs" about? By now you have experienced the hurt of being treated as an afterthought and looked down upon, according to you. He doesn't seem interested in making this work or being exclusive. You seem much more invested in this.

 

Pull way back and stop "doing the absolute most" for him. Acting like that is contributing to your lack of self respect and his lack of respect for you. He takes you for granted and you are acting like a mommy to him and martyr. That is extremely unattractive. You need to end this and wasting your time, money, energy and emotions on this loser..

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it’s been up and down between us.

“if I was the same race as him, it could be better.”

-I do the absolute most for him. I was there for him when he lost both of his cars, got fired from his job, comforted him when his mom kicked him out, etc.

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