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Thread: I'm not sure what to do!

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    Is blocking my way or hitting me lightly to shut me up abusive? He also says I'm being over sensitive over his comments.
    The way he speaks to you is abusive. How does it make you feel?

  2. #22
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    I feel like a piece of crap! It makes me feel worthless.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Mentally and emotionally abusive..end of. He doesn't need to be hitting you in order to be abusive.

    You need to find a way to get out. Lack of friends or family to stay with is no reason to remain with this guy. He is awful to you and takes advantage of the fact that you've got nowhere else to go.

    Do you work? Can you find a place on your own? What about a woman's shelter for now or even to apply for benefits in order to get your own place?
    You need to do something to get out of this situation.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    Is blocking my way or hitting me lightly to shut me up abusive? He also says I'm being over sensitive over his comments.
    Yes. Full stop.

    Is there a way you can get your own housing? You say you are on benefits, but as we don't know the specifics, it's hard to determine whether you would be able to support yourself on that income.

    He is a poor excuse for a man.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You may have to relocate.

    Are the allergies constant? do you know your triggers?

    I think that you also need to address the fact that you have no friends. You have isolated yourself with you bf. This is why he behaves this way, as he knows that you have no where to go. When you get yourself together, you need to have some sort of friend group and no make a man your entire life.

    It takes a year to get a referral?
    I live in a country that's considered to have one of the highest life qualities and in which health care and everything state supported but you have no idea how hard it is get a doctor appointment or a referral here. I live in a small town here, so it's even more complicated and some specialities doesn't even exist here. So I can believe that the referral is taking a long time. However in her case it seems urgent and it should be faster.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    I feel like a piece of crap! It makes me feel worthless.
    He is an abuser!

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    All abusers say that. You need to go to a doctor asap for many reasons. One is to address your health concerns in general. Another is to speak privately and confidentially with a professional who can help you get started on extricating yourself from an abusive situation. Stop talking at him as if he has empathy or cares. He enjoys tormenting and abusing you. It's fun for him. The only times he's somewhat "nice" are to keep you sucked in as his punching bag.

    You have been evicted before. Is he a hoarder? Are you? Usually the filth and decay are so horrific that many people suffer a multitude of health issues. You can read up online about the health (and many other) consequences of hoarding. Why are there toxic substances, mold/mildew, etc all over? Do you live in poorly maintained welfare housing? Where did you live before you lived with him? You need to get away from him. You need to go to social services and get help with housing, food, assistance programs, employment, healthcare and mental health care.
    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    He says hes not being abusive as he's not beating me to a pulp.
    Last edited by Wiseman2; 01-24-2019 at 05:50 AM.

  9. #28
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    We lived in a really moldy house.He wanted to keep his video/ games as they had sentimental value for him.We through most out but those where the least moldy but they still gave me huge rashes when we moved to the other house, so had to throw some out, he says we didn't need to though them out though . The landlord was selling so we left.i did say his behaviour was unexpectable after telling me to shut f up ,he said I was shouting ,i wasn't I was stressed so my voice was louder but I was trying to not about.when I questioned what he said about telling me to shut the f up he said sorry my little ears heard it in a sarcastic way. He says he doesn't mean to be like that, but he sounds like he dose with the sarcastic comments,that s what I get ,I'm not happy with him ,I only get 80 a week ,ill look into rooms to rent in shared housing as I can't trust him ,he said every couple has there ups and downs and I should forget about it but I can't, trust him,we have been having those arguments for a whole year but I have felt alone .He stone walls me ,doesn't listen to me ,tells me to go away doesn't listen when I said his comments upset me ,tells me it's easy to do I'm being over sensitive, ect tells me I don't know when to shut up but hes there saying sarcastic provoking comments that upset me he expects me to shut up and not say anything . He says I'm hard to live with .He gets annoyed very easy I'm treading on egg shell s I've tried to be nothing but nice to him.he tells me has sick of my problems ect so I've hidden them so him if I look upset ,just spoken to a friend and she said some people are prepared to put up with verbal abuse .she said she's said a few abusive things to her partner .I will go and chase my dr referal for my allergies .
    Last edited by Moonlight37; 01-24-2019 at 12:48 PM.

  10. #29
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    The bottom line is, is that you need to leave this man.

    Don;t ever isolate yourself like this again. You must become more independent.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Moonlight37
    I'm on the dole at the moment ,he says hes sick of my allergies as they have meant ,he's had to get rid of some of his things as they went moldy and he doesn't like it if I tell him to shut his door if he's using chemicals or the fact that we had to get rid of a bed because I was allergic to it ,it was memory foam and it stank the whole house out and I was reacting badly to it, I did buy him another bed from my own money. I bought him some replacement stuff ,he said I'm hard to love because of my allergies.
    A person who loved you would want to do the things that make the house safe for you to live in.

    And they wouldn't tell you you are hard to love because of things about you you cannot change.

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