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Thread: Is it really too late?

  1. #1

    Is it really too late?

    Hi

    I really appreciate any help, if you want anymore info let me know.

    Me and my ex were together for 2years and were super close, we were like best friends, I ended things because of personal issues I was having that seemed to get in the way of our relationship and hurt her. But she always told me she loved me and always supported me, I ended things because I felt like I needed time to sort some things out in my life it felt like I was just hurting her. I cared about her so much I didn't want to keep hurting her with my problems. Which I always questioned if it was the right thing to do and still do.

    Anyway without going into tons of detail she took it really bad for a few months and after about 8months we met and got on well like we hadn't been apart, I could tell she still wanted us to be together. She even messaged after me met saying if we were done, I wanted some time to think before rushing into things but then a few weeks later she was with another guy. I actually think she was seeing this guy when we met, then when I tryed to message she blocked me.

    I hear the term rebound relationship alot but this only seems to apply for when you haven't been apart for long. We were apart for about 8-9months and we still talked on and off and she still wanted to be with me, but then a few weeks later she puts up this picture for me to see and then blocks me.

    Im trying to figure out in my own mind if she really is done or she is using this guy to forget about me, it was really weird because she put the picture up in the one place I would see it. I know she was serious about getting back together when we met a few weeks earlier but is this relationship she is in serious if she was still going to choose me but because I waited its too late? I really do want her back but I waited to long. With the situation now I can't make sense of what she is thinking because she blocked me so its hard to find any closure because a few weeks ago she wanted me when she was seeing someone.

    Do I just accept it and move on or try and fight for her which I should have done when we last met. I feel like she blocked me just to shut me and try and forget about me but not because she hates me or anything like that we always got along really well. Even when we last met I told her I would always care about her and she said the same.
    Last edited by crazyfool123; 01-23-2019 at 04:29 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How and why were you "hurting her"? Has that resolved? It seems she tried to discuss reconciliation when you met up 8 mos later, but you blew her off again. Unfortunately she simply gave up being rejected and decided to move on.

    There's nothing to "fight for" since she blocked you and has, understandably, moved on. All you can do is reflect on how to not let whatever "issues that keep hurting people" keep interfering in your happiness.
    Originally Posted by crazyfool123
    I ended things because I felt like I needed time to sort some things out in my life it felt like I was just hurting her.

    after about 8months we met . She even messaged after me met saying if we were done, I wanted some time to think before rushing into things but then a few weeks later she was with another guy. I actually think she was seeing this guy when we met, then when I tryed to message she blocked me.

  3. #3
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Sorry to hear this. How and why were you "hurting her"? Has that resolved? It seems she tried to discuss reconciliation when you met up 8 mos later, but you blew her off again. Unfortunately she simply gave up being rejected and decided to move on.

    There's nothing to "fight for" since she blocked you and has, understandably, moved on. All you can do is reflect on how to not let whatever "issues that keep hurting people" keep interfering in your happiness.
    Thanks, I suffer with depression and anxiety. I told her just before she blocked me that I was going to get help for my problems which I am and asked her if she still loved me and she was never the type to ignore me but she did. So I guess there was a part of me holding out that a few weeks earlier she still wanted to be together and she still had those feelings but I guess I have to just accept it and move on. We were always honest with each other so it just seemed unlike her to not just say Im not interested anymore.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    When you break up with someone, that's the risk you take, that you might never reconcile. I don't understand why you didn't, during the relationship, tell her to please be patient and that you made an appt. with a psychiatrist--that you would attempt to become a better partner while the medication and sessions did their work. Couples in love work on problems together. You just bailed.

    And then you didn't even immediately seek help until 8 months later. When she learned that you hadn't even done anything during more than a half a year after the break up to improve your state of mind, what message did you think that sent to her? You say her actions perplexed you? She probably also scratched her head at your inaction to get to a good place to be with her again.

    She has likely had an epiphany--that you're not a good risk for her heart, and for the outsider looking in, I don't think you are either.

    Respect her decision, since she has put a lot of thought into that decision. When you have to fight for a relationship, it means it's not the right one for you. It would basically be stalking, since the person has put up a barrier to prevent any contact from you. Be single for now, since finding the right medication and having sessions with a psychiatrist is a long term process that takes time to work. You need to concentrate on that right now. Not a love life. Take care.

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