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  1. #11
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    For example, today my car broke down. It's going to cost a minimum of $380 (deductible plus diagnostic fee) and possibly as much as $1200. If I was spending every cent on rent, utilities and food and had nothing left over this could be a disaster. Instead, the money will come out of my savings account.

    Jetta, what would happen if you had an unexpected $1200 bill you had to pay immediately?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    Either put it on a credit card or ask my brother to help.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Jetta
    Either put it on a credit card or ask my brother to help.
    Nope. if you move out, you need to stand as a responsible adult once and for all. you blame your mother AGAIN when the biggest scam was the latest man you married who took you for every penny and left you with loans. You need to look yourself in the eye and own that you are the sole person that causes your own problems - not your brother, mother, etc. If you move out, do you have some money saved, with a legitimate income also so that you can handle more than just your bills? Two minutes ago, you talked of moving out of state? your mother may not be ideal, but she makes you accountable - she does her darnedest so that you don't do anything else that's impulsive or stupid. Will you get to see your daughter more with this apartment?

    If you can say confidentaly that you have the income to pay for the apartment PLUS utilities out of your income every month PLUS have money for groceries and some saved for emergencies - then maybe - but if you go off on another tangeant and it doesn't work out -- there is a limit of how many times mom will bail you out. People have a rope that is only so long ...and they are done. if you succeed they will have respect, but if you fail, i can understand why they would refuse to bail you out

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Jetta
    Either put it on a credit card or ask my brother to help.
    Sorry, but that doesn't seem like a sound financial plan.

    Why do you have to move out right away? You haven't seemed to ever allow any of your plans to take shape before you jump to the next one. Are you an impatient person?

    Sometimes we have to wait a bit for plans to work out. Not just a month or two, but sometimes a year or two.

    Also, do you honestly think your brother would be happy to give you over a thousand dollars when he's not in favor of you moving out right now? Does he know you intend to ask him for money if you get into financial trouble and is he on board with that?

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Sorry, but that doesn't seem like a sound financial plan.

    Why do you have to move out right away? You haven't seemed to ever allow any of your plans to take shape before you jump to the next one. Are you an impatient person?

    Sometimes we have to wait a bit for plans to work out. Not just a month or two, but sometimes a year or two.

    Also, do you honestly think your brother would be happy to give you over a thousand dollars when he's not in favor of you moving out right now? Does he know you intend to ask him for money if you get into financial trouble and is he on board with that?
    I would save as much money as you can, even if you have a jar and throw your change in, or even put $1 in every day to start yourself or automatically transfer a certain amount into savings every week.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    I went through a budget that includes all expenses. Things you don't normally think of. I won't have the expendable income I'm used to. I've even talked to my daughter about it. I could possibly see her more since she is not wanting to come to grandma's. Daughter did come over one day to play cards.

    That side wants me on my own, daughter has said she doesn't like how grandma treats me. I have little rental history. Lived with mom a lot. And she talked me into a scam thinking her best friend texted her about this grant money. Cleaned out my savings and now I'm paying her back 1700. She kept telling me her friend wouldn't lie. I told her I thought it was a scam. I was right.

  8. #17
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    Hello Jetta, you certainly have a very important decision to make and from your posts so far, you are taking a lot of the financial parts into consideration. You mention that with your mom, your housing is 15% and 30% if you move to subsidized housing. Then you have your growth and development to also consider. Wow, lots of heavy duty factors! I'm really glad you are seeing a psychiatrist, which is giving you objective advice. You mention that you had to move back to your mom's because of financial issues so I would strongly recommend that you first get financially stabilized and commit to doing so giving yourself a plan of 3-6 months or however many months you think you need to get financially ready. That would mean really sacrificing and keeping yourself on a strict budget. Is that something you are willing to do? Do you have someone you can trust to keep you accountable to your plan? The subsidized housing is a wonderful idea and is there someway they can postpone that opportunity until you are ready? It would be a shame to lose that, unless you are able to re-apply later on. I truly understand your need to move away, to be independent, but you probably don't want to leave and then have to return again because of poor planning? Please continue to work with your therapist and I hope all works out, blessings

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    The application process takes up to 4 months. So that's Aprilish. I'm sure I'll have some savings recouped by than. I decided not to discuss it with mom until I'm approved. They need lots of documents and letters from my psychiatrist . It's a process.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    It's getting real, the idea of moving out. Without the fight its giving me the opportunity to really decide what's best for me.

    It's lost the fun factor, and got real. Whicg is actually a suggestion from therapy.

    I spent today completing the application and gathering various requested documents. At mom's I have company, less financial stress, and security.

    I will retain my services by moving within the county, mom is planning to move to another county meaning setting up new services. I will get into a newly renovated subsidized apartment for disabled and seniors, my daughter might hang out with me at my place rather than avoid Grandma's house. I'll build rental history. Currently very limited.

    I really need to go inward and decide what's best for me.

  11. #20
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    Hi again, Jetta. Sounds like you are getting excited about being on your own and that your psychiatrist is encouraging you. Are you seeing that your plan is solid and workable? Do you see strengths in the plan? What about weaknesses? Just asking to hopefully help you feel comfortable with your plan. Hope all works! blessings

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