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Thread: Top of the list

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    Top of the list

    For a subsidized apartment. It's in my ideal location, was recommended to me by the housing consultant as a really nice place. Haven't seen it yet, but I'm at the top of the list! I was excited, however mom is begging me not to move because I help her, financially and other ways. I need to get out on my own but I'm not even sure I can afford subsidized.

    I've prayed about it and know God wants me moving out. My brother doesn't want me to. My mom doesn't want me to, threatening to disown me. My psychiatrist wants me to. Calls my mom bad for not wanting me to. Do I just do it anyway because it's what best for my growth and development?

  2. #2
    Silver Member fwdthinker's Avatar
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    That's a very tough call because it pulls at your heart strings. How old are you? Can you afford it? Can you still help your family if needed? I say that not because they should be dependent on you, but because you may feel too much guilt to enjoy the move if you have to go under unpleasant and upsetting conditions. They are fearful of losing you and that's understandable. but your family should give you wings. Is there a way to address their concerns?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    I pay my mom rent about 500 a month including money I owe her from borrowing for a scam. My therapist thinks she's taking money she talked me into losing and she should suffer the loss. Mom says since I'm out of the trust she will tell my brother not to pay me anything if I leave. She is always trying to control with money. She says she will have to leave her house vacant if I leave, than says she will advertise my room to rent and kick me out when it gets rented. It's emotional blackmail.

    I don't know how to deal with her regarding this, and honestly need a therapy session to work through it.

  4. #4
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    Don't take the new place if you're not sure you can afford it.

    Didn't you pre-emptively move out before and your mom had to end up bailing you out financially or something like that?

    Don't get yourself locked into a lease you may be unable to honor.

    What happened with your music career? Anything happening there? What about any of the jobs you applied for, any updates on those?

    BTW, I don't think God would want you to get yourself into financial trouble.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Don't take the new place if you're not sure you can afford it.

    Didn't you pre-emptively move out before and your mom had to end up bailing you out financially or something like that?

    Don't get yourself locked into a lease you may be unable to honor.

    What happened with your music career? Anything happening there? What about any of the jobs you applied for, any updates on those?

    BTW, I don't think God would want you to get yourself into financial trouble.
    I have a job. I was on vacation. Currently music wise working on creating a demo and waiting for contest results. I did move out preemptively and yes mom ultimately had to rescue me. But I wasn't taking meds and stopped seeing a psychiatrist so I couldn't get in when I knew I needed help so I broke down. I learned from my mistake. I just went through my budget and can afford it but won't be able to save for 6 months. While I pay my mom and brother back. For the previous poster I am 44 almost 45.

  7. #6
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    Will all of your money be going to rent and household and personal expenses?

    Will you have a cushion each month in case of emergencies?

    I am currently renting for well below what I can afford because I am building up my savings accounts. Trust me, I feel a lot less anxious knowing I have 3 full months expenses saved up just in case.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Jetta's Avatar
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    I was saving but Christmas ate most of it and vacation ate the rest. It's subsidized which means 30% of my income goes towards rent. The rest of my money goes to food, gas, bills, and part of those bills is paying back my mom and brother, which is nearly paid off. Rent to my mom is about 15% of my income, 30% is a jump.

  9. #8
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    Hi Jetta! I wanted to let you know that you should remove the link to your YouTube video that you put in a previous post. Clicking on it leads to all kinds of personal information about you. You should ask a moderator to have it removed right away. Please be careful about what you link to on here. Iím sure you would prefer to remain anonymous on here, since youíre pouring your heart out and talking about private matters.

    Good luck with the new apartment if you can afford it!

  10. #9
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    What would you do if you had any unexpected expenses?

    It's just not wise to spend every penny you have each month with no cushion. Sure, people do it but it's certainly a stressful way to live.

  11. #10
    Silver Member fwdthinker's Avatar
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    Bolt has wise advise here... Though I'm sure it's tempting. Perhaps use this as the motivation you need for a future opportunity. Day by day do one thing at least to save or make money or progress towards your goal of moving out. You'd be surprised how much you can accomplish that way

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