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My mom recently broke her wrist and back in a fall. I want to go see her this weekend. However , when I even come to think of it I just feel like I need to throw up . It reminds me of one of my very first memories. Unfortunately one of my first memories is of abuse to my mother and myself. When I was four my mother had fallen down the basement steps carrying my brother. She had broken her tailbone . She sent me running to go find my dad . Unfortunately at the time he was screwing the neighbour and kept telling me to “F off stupid , you’re bugging me. “ I remember feeling so helpless and ineffectual being four. I couldn’t help anybody . And my mother had to crawl up the basement stairs clinging onto my brother .

 

Even thinking of going makes me wretch and my IBS is horrible but at the same time I want to be with my mom .

 

I know no one can give me an answer . But I just had to say it out loud .

 

*** sobbing ****

 

Pls if you are in an abusive relationship please think about your kids . Pls. I am 52 and this happened when I was FOUR. So if you think your kids won’t remember you’re fooling yourself .

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I think you've been on a thread before where I've mentioned this, so you probably already are familiar with it, but I would try EFT on your specific memory at age 4 and how it relates to how feel now visiting your mother. Hope you and your mom feel better soon.

I am not sure what EFT entails.

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Enjoy your Mother, forgive your non-dad/others and allow joy into your life.

 

Hugs

 

I would love to. I am just really struggling this week . My mom had the fall three weeks ago ,my cat had surgery last week and he is still recovering and I have one child in my daycare that’s really difficult that was here all day for three days instead of before and after school . Last week my husband told me he refuses to adopt our great nephews so we lost him . When previously he was all gung ho for the idea . It is really difficult for me to handle many things at once . There are days I grit my teeth just to get through the day . I really don’t handle extreme swings of emotion very well . It makes me physically sick . And my mom is the light of my life . When anything happens to her I go a bit nutso . And of course it brings up crappy memories of my dad .

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If your mom is the light of your life, then go visit her in the hospital. Go against your fears, do it for her.

 

Your dad hurt you and your mom when you were 4. Do not let the memories of his abuse hurt you and your mom again, when you are 52. DO not let his abuse win again, or define your actions, especially when it is about your mom.

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If your mom is the light of your life, then go visit her in the hospital. Go against your fears, do it for her.

 

Your dad hurt you and your mom when you were 4. Do not let the memories of his abuse hurt you and your mom again, when you are 52. DO not let his abuse win again, or define your actions, especially when it is about your mom.

 

My mom isn’t in the hospital. She is at home. I have to wait for my cat recheck Friday. My husband will be away and need someone to check on my son if I go.

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Iydm

Maybe you answered this already in another thread..., but how old were the nephews and were they with you?

My great nephew is 18 months he lived with my mom and step dad ( his bio great grandpa) until a few days ago. When they found out a week ago my mom broke her wrist and back looking after him ( 3 weeks ago she fell) and finally went to a dr last week. She had to call CAS pick him up. He went to his grandmother’s house ( my step sister and her daughter , the mom) .

 

Anyway his fate is decided in court next Tuesday .

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You really do have a lot on your plate. Things to think about: Would just talking to your mom on the phone be possible? Is that difficult, too? Does she really expect you to leave your son with someone so you can visit her, or is that a burden you are placing on yourself? Even at 52, you are allowed to take care of yourself, emotionally. I assume you feel guilty for not doing all of the things you feel like you "should" be doing, but if you just can't do it all, don't. I'm talking from my experience of depression as well as losing both of my parents at 16, then living with an aunt and uncle. I know that I "should" be treating my aunt as a mom and communicating with her as much as other daughters and mothers. I just can't. It is too much for me emotionally. Sometimes it takes so much energy to get through a day, that I don't have the energy to interact with someone else, even an aunt that has loved me as best as she can. She knows that it is hard for me and never blames me - I do that to myself enough, which ironically makes it that much harder to call because I feel so guilty.

 

Your signature actually mentions one of my favorite things that Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Rest for my soul. I love, love that.

 

 

 

 

The New International Version. (2011). (Mt 11:28–30). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

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You really do have a lot on your plate. Things to think about: Would just talking to your mom on the phone be possible? Is that difficult, too? Does she really expect you to leave your son with someone so you can visit her, or is that a burden you are placing on yourself? Even at 52, you are allowed to take care of yourself, emotionally. I assume you feel guilty for not doing all of the things you feel like you "should" be doing, but if you just can't do it all, don't. I'm talking from my experience of depression as well as losing both of my parents at 16, then living with an aunt and uncle. I know that I "should" be treating my aunt as a mom and communicating with her as much as other daughters and mothers. I just can't. It is too much for me emotionally. Sometimes it takes so much energy to get through a day, that I don't have the energy to interact with someone else, even an aunt that has loved me as best as she can. She knows that it is hard for me and never blames me - I do that to myself enough, which ironically makes it that much harder to call because I feel so guilty.

 

Your signature actually mentions one of my favorite things that Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Rest for my soul. I love, love that.

 

 

 

 

The New International Version. (2011). (Mt 11:28–30). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

My mom would never blame me ,no. She would never want me to risk anything. If I could not come she would be ok with that. My son is an adult but he is Autistic and sometimes needs help with executive functioning issues . Or he could be afraid if an unusual circumstance happens. I have a girl friend here who has an adult Autistic daughter so she can make sure he is ok and he could go to her place.

 

My kitty got a bill of much improving health. 🥰. He just needs one more recheck next Friday. Then all being well he needs no more checks.

 

So I think I am going to go see my mom just for today and come home tomorrow morning.

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Went and saw my mom for 24 hours. 🥰 And I am back home again. She’s in significant pain from the fractured vertebrae but it has to heal so there’s not much to be done . They have given her Dilaudid 1 mg so she can sleep at night but it’s not a strong enough prescription and she only sleeps about four or five hours .

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Went and saw my mom for 24 hours. 🥰 And I am back home again. She’s in significant pain from the fractured vertebrae but it has to heal so there’s not much to be done . They have given her Dilaudid 1 mg so she can sleep at night but it’s not a strong enough prescription and she only sleeps about four or five hours .

 

Thank you so much for sharing with us after your visit. I am so sorry that your mom is in such pain. I really hope that the four or five hours of sleep sustains her through the day. Good luck to your family regarding your great nephew tomorrow as well.

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