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Thread: PTSD related rant

  1. #1
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    PTSD related rant

    My mom recently broke her wrist and back in a fall. I want to go see her this weekend. However , when I even come to think of it I just feel like I need to throw up . It reminds me of one of my very first memories. Unfortunately one of my first memories is of abuse to my mother and myself. When I was four my mother had fallen down the basement steps carrying my brother. She had broken her tailbone . She sent me running to go find my dad . Unfortunately at the time he was screwing the neighbour and kept telling me to “F off stupid , you’re bugging me. “ I remember feeling so helpless and ineffectual being four. I couldn’t help anybody . And my mother had to crawl up the basement stairs clinging onto my brother .

    Even thinking of going makes me wretch and my IBS is horrible but at the same time I want to be with my mom .

    I know no one can give me an answer . But I just had to say it out loud .

    *** sobbing ****

    Pls if you are in an abusive relationship please think about your kids . Pls. I am 52 and this happened when I was FOUR. So if you think your kids won’t remember you’re fooling yourself .

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    Gold Member mines's Avatar
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    Ugh I'm so sorry, this is so heartbreaking. I can't even imagine. I feel bad for your mom. I feel worse for you - age 4 - makes me sick to my stomach. ((HUGS))

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    I think you've been on a thread before where I've mentioned this, so you probably already are familiar with it, but I would try EFT on your specific memory at age 4 and how it relates to how feel now visiting your mother. Hope you and your mom feel better soon.

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    Enjoy your Mother, forgive your non-dad/others and allow joy into your life.

    Hugs

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    Originally Posted by HealingLight
    I think you've been on a thread before where I've mentioned this, so you probably already are familiar with it, but I would try EFT on your specific memory at age 4 and how it relates to how feel now visiting your mother. Hope you and your mom feel better soon.
    I am not sure what EFT entails.

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    Originally Posted by Lester
    Enjoy your Mother, forgive your non-dad/others and allow joy into your life.

    Hugs
    I would love to. I am just really struggling this week . My mom had the fall three weeks ago ,my cat had surgery last week and he is still recovering and I have one child in my daycare that’s really difficult that was here all day for three days instead of before and after school . Last week my husband told me he refuses to adopt our great nephews so we lost him . When previously he was all gung ho for the idea . It is really difficult for me to handle many things at once . There are days I grit my teeth just to get through the day . I really don’t handle extreme swings of emotion very well . It makes me physically sick . And my mom is the light of my life . When anything happens to her I go a bit nutso . And of course it brings up crappy memories of my dad .

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    Thank you. Hugs.
    Originally Posted by mines
    Ugh I'm so sorry, this is so heartbreaking. I can't even imagine. I feel bad for your mom. I feel worse for you - age 4 - makes me sick to my stomach. ((HUGS))

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    I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope you feel much better very very soon!

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    Gold Member East4's Avatar
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    If your mom is the light of your life, then go visit her in the hospital. Go against your fears, do it for her.

    Your dad hurt you and your mom when you were 4. Do not let the memories of his abuse hurt you and your mom again, when you are 52. DO not let his abuse win again, or define your actions, especially when it is about your mom.

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    Originally Posted by East4
    If your mom is the light of your life, then go visit her in the hospital. Go against your fears, do it for her.

    Your dad hurt you and your mom when you were 4. Do not let the memories of his abuse hurt you and your mom again, when you are 52. DO not let his abuse win again, or define your actions, especially when it is about your mom.
    My mom isn’t in the hospital. She is at home. I have to wait for my cat recheck Friday. My husband will be away and need someone to check on my son if I go.

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