My friend wants to meet my other friends

I have this friend i met over 20 years ago. We were both starting high school then. We lost touch when we went to college and then reconnected when a mutual friend came to visit. At the time we reconnected we were both at similar stages of our lives. Since then she has married and has 2 children. Since she got pregnant and she hasn't been as available as she used to be. I don't have children and I am still single. We don't have as much in common but we still hang out about once a month to catch up on each others lives. We have been doing this through a Games night at her house. That way she doesn't have to find a babysitter and all that.

For the last couple of games nights she has been suggesting that I invite more of my friends. I can hear the frustration in her voice when I make excuses. We went out for brunch last Sunday and she tried to corner me on it. The truth is that because I'm childless my social circle is very different than hers and I don't think that my different friend groups would like each other. I would be surprised if they got along. Plus a lot of my friends are much older than me so i feel that hanging with my 30 something friends just highlights the age gap. On top of that most of my newer friends are bootstrappers and she inherited the very nice house she lives in along with other income generating properties.

I know what its like to realize that you don't have a lot of friends. Its how I felt for a while. At the same time I kinda feel like trying to introduce her to my other friends would be a disaster. I don't want to say that I don't think my friends would like her

I mean, rather than prejudging how others would see her or whether or not they'd be jealous of her, why not simply ask some of them if they'd be interested in game night. Not everyone is, but those who are might well have fun. Let your friends sort out for themselves if they like her or not and if they want to come back again or not. You are all adults. Also, you don't have to bring around everyone you know.

Really, she's gotta lay off unless she wants you smacking her with a truth she likely doesn't want to hear. It's one thing for her to be warm and let you know you can bring some friends. It's another for her to push the issue. If you legit would like them to come to the game night but are afraid it wouldn't be their jam, then I agree with DF in that you should simply invite them and let them make the choice themselves. If it's a matter of you preferring to keep the circles separate, then stick to your guns. It's not your responsibility to recruit more members into the Church of Game Night. If she doesn't want to take the hint, you'll just have to let her know you like it the way it is with just the current group / you and her and hope she takes it well.

One of the things I've realised over the years is that you never really know how people are going to get on together. Maybe your friends would like her; maybe they wouldn't, but you don't know until you try. Issues like the age gap may be less important to the others than it is to you, and it's possible they wouldn't care either way about her house. Years ago I had a relationship with a musician who had recently packed in an executive career, and he was convinced that I, as a bohemian arty type, wouldn't get on with his former work colleagues. It was a load of rubbish!

If you really don't want them to meet her, then tell her that you value your 1:1 relationship and bringing along other people would spoil it for you. Otherwise, invite them to a Game night - rather than explicitly inviting them to meet her - so at least if there is any initial awkwardness there will be something else to focus on.

I get it. I really do. I have different friend groups... I have one group of socially awkward but brilliant “geeky” friends who I adore and another group of super trendy, outgoing “party” friends. They have met - and while they are polite to each other (of course) - they just don’t “get” each other. Actually, the “geeky” friends are much more warm and welcoming than the “trendy” friends to be honest.

It’s fine. I’m sure you know your friends well. If you don’t want to invite them, don’t invite them.

Instead, why not hear what she’s trying to say? I think what she’s saying (in a round about way) is that she misses having a friends group and she is looking for your help to spark that for her a bit (but she’s being a bit lazy about it). Why not ask her to join a once-a-week fitness class together? Or a cooking class? Something inexpensive maybe on the weekend when her husband is around. This would kill two birds with one stone - it would strengthen your friendship and help her (and you!) get out there and meet new people... :)

I have two separate circle of girlfriends and they are very different.

I've just learned to extend the invitations and let them decide for themselves if they fit it or not.

I don't think it's my job to be the gate keeper for grown women and anticipate their reactions to it all.

They are adults and they are perfectly capable of making choices without my running interference.