I feel bad..

So I feel like I messed up. My long distance friend/ex and me started talking again about a year ago. I had full understanding that she was in a new relationship. One that hurt to see. Before we started talking again I took a break from her for 18 months. I was ok with talking again because I had convinced myself that I knew I had no chance of getting that back or even wanting it now that she's been with new people. So it was alright.. pretty normal catch up conversations. Then as the months went on I started to notice she was being flirty.. flirty Snapchat pics. My instant reaction to these was no reaction.. rooted in my brain that this could lead to pain if I do it back. Plus she had a boyfriend. I'm not doing that.

Then as the months continued I started to get the feeling that she still likes me (long distance would never ever work and already tried). She was being flirty again.. telling me about problems with her boyfriend and eventually splitting with him. Now because of that she started talking to me more frequently.. and i started remembering the old times, imagining how great things might of been. Not healthy.

Again though my auto response was to ignore any types of feelings I have for her because they were not realistic and we could hurt eachother again. So after about 4 weeks of her being newly single I start seeing her Snapchat stories (I was previously blocked from seeing those). So we were talking a lot.. remeniscing. Then the conversations got a bit more frisk. And that's where I knew this might be going back to the old days.. but again I was torn. Rejecting feelings and not responding in the ways imagine she wanted me to. Trying to be numb to it all.

I do kind of want her and I know kind of is not good enough. She's great but all these poor past memories hurt me and bring up resentment and not wanting to talk to her..then I really wish I could talk to her. It's a silly mess in my head.

So one night were going back and fourth and she says if I was there we would go to this place together..do this and I'd take you home with me and never let you go.. and that really made me feel good but also sad because it won't happen.

Less than 24 hours later she starts posting pics/vids of her and some guy. Very close together and she is calling him bae.. love hearts n all. And that was it. All the past memories and resentment came rushing back into my head. "Liar. Knew it. Nothing changes. Same pattern. This is BS."

I blocked her from Snapchat. Unfollowed on other social media. I was angry. Acted while angry.

Now it felt good at the time to do this. Good. I don't have to see that garbage anymore, why should I have to. Why would she say something like that if she is dating other guys (I assume).

And I haven't spoke to her since. Been about 3 months. Nothing from her end and nothing from mine. The part where I feel bad is because I left with no explanation and lately it's eating at me.. like wow she's gonna think you're a coward now and lose whatever respect she did have for you.

So I find myself in this dilemma kind of.. do I say sorry? Even though I feel like it was justified to be angry. Or do I leave it alone and just get on with things until this feeling no longer lingers.

It risks opening dialogue up again and I really don't want to feel like I'm going to see something I don't want to. Like yes..she probably has moved on. Again. And I don't wanna know about it..

It's so weird having these nice feelings about someone and then switching them to anger.

Someone shake me lol

No, don't apologize.

She wants attention, strung you along. You did the right thing by blocking her, she knows what she did, leave it alone.

This is a prime example of why you cannot be friends when there are feelings.

Move on. Stay no contact and block her on everything.

She was messing with you for attention, She is a mind*ck.

No, leave it alone and focus on God, yourself and other important things in your life. Opening the door of communication will only allow her back in your life for her to keep playing with your emotions and you don’t want to keep doing that to yourself.

What she chooses to do with other men is her perogative as long as she isn’t stringing you along by flirting with you. Even if she isn’t flirting with you but is dating someone else and it bothers you, I think you have to do yourself a huge favor and the shut door on her so that whatever she does in her personal life doesn’t affect you since you still have feelings for her.

Do your best to maintain your self-respect because if you loose that, she won’t have any for you either. Good luck!

That stinks! I have to tell you, something similar happened to be recently where a guy I was friends with started chatting with me again, sent me pics of him, was flirting a bit, then when I sent him a fun selfie of me, he just never replied and I haven't heard from him since. It's been about 2 weeks. Unlike your situation, neither of us are posting pictures of us with someone else on social media; he is single and I am single, But it hurts when someone reaches out and engages with you, then pulls away. I don't get why people do this. Especially "friends" or whatever they are.

I think unfortunately what you need to do is not contact her, but that's very hard, isn't it?

One thing you don't need to do is say sorry like you asked...And yes you are justified to be angry -- don't ever feel bad or apologize for how you feel. But it's up to you on what you want to do. If you really want to get closure, and its really eating you up, you may want to call her and ask why she said that to you if she is with someone else. Who knows, maybe the whole thing with her picture with the guy was just miscommunication. Sometimes you need to take social media with a grain of salt. Don't believe everything you see. The only thing I can think of is, if she has done this a lot in the past, then maybe you don't want to reach out. But if this is the first time this has happened, then maybe you should get in touch just to clear the air.

Thanks for the replies so far ya lovely bunch. I needed these.

It's tough as I'm sure everyone knows. I feel harsh but it feels like the only way I'm gonna get my message across. Gotta stay strong and just let it bleed out till I don't care (again) lol

A blip. She obviously can't feel the same way if she's doing her own thing, so yeah.

Wow. I was just going to block her on my Twitter and thought I would have a nose. The usual bad idea lol. It's fine though cause I know what to expect.

Turns out she already had a new boyfriend while she was sending me the odd flirtatious messages/pics. Basically kept me along for the ride while she got rid of her ex and found a new guy. Weird.

What was kinda funny is that she talks about loyalty in some of her posts. Hypocrisy much.

It's like she was just completely oblivious to my feelings and what we once had. Seems now it was just a catch up to pass the time to her. This is also her 5th relationship in 4 years. Doesn't like to waste time apparently.

And she is very much in love with this man. He is her soul according to her posts. Well good for her and good for me. I can just get on with my life now without everver having to think what if or maybe again.

Quite the relief. Some people really are bizzare 😲

The way I see it, she was flirting with you to feel validated. Sad as it is, for many of us, we engage in flirting and even relationships bec we want to feel good about ourselves, instead of truly appreciating the other person.

I think it’s best to cut off ties. You focus on you. And when the time is right, invest your time in someone who’s interested in YOU and not what emotional validation they can get out of you.