What's the next step above spanking?

My apologies if this is too much for the forum, I honestly just don't know where else to ask this anonymously.

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks. We've talked about sexual fantasies and stuff, and she's expressed interest in being tied up and spanked (but in a sensual way, not too hard). Which is great, that's my speed.

Tonight we were talking sexually, and we got to a point where she said that she needed to be punished. In the fantasy she's already nude, so I replied with a bit about bending her over and spanking her.

She said that she didn't think it was going to be enough for her to learn her lesson, I would have to come up with something else.

Ermm...

Maybe I'm just not that imaginative, I don't know, but I honestly didn't know how to reply to this.

She wants to be spanked, but not too hard... so I would think that suggesting a belt would be too much.

She's never commented on anal, so saying something about that might go way overboard... or it might be exactly what she had in mind, I have no idea.

We're still new and having fun, so I don't want to come across as boring and unimaginative... but alas, it appears that I'm boring and unimaginative. So if a girl told you that she needed to be punished and spanking wasn't enough... where would you go next?

Have you met in person? Is this a paid service you're "talking to"?

Tonight we were talking sexually, and we got to a point where she said that she needed to be punished. In the fantasy she's already nude, so I replied with a bit about bending her over and spanking her.

Smack her silly.

Lol..just kidding.

I'm not the person to ask.

I don't know. Have you already had sex in real life?

Well it's a difficult question because we just have no idea what she'd want....Why don't you ask her more questions? It's very difficult to know what people want sexually without actually knowing the person and especially without talking to them about it. I think communication is key in physical intimacy.

Buddy as this is new territory to you , switch it on to her and role play with her telling you what she would do ....then you can get a better feel for how far she will go .

This is just talk yes ? If it is real life stuff you need to talk about it and get your selves a safe word incase one of you goes to far .

I think she just wants to be the bad girl and you tie her up ( with anything ) like you could pretend you just got in from a day at the office to find she as been *very bad * so tell her to get on her knees and tie her hands behind her back with your tie , well she in on her knees ..so ..................untill her punishment is over ...spanking can be with anything , but there are many different paddles to use ( google is your friend ) or over your knee for a good old telling off ...

You could also blindfold her and tell her to wait until you decide what the punishment will be ..build the tension a bit ...

I need to stop ..I feel like I am having sex infront of everyone , but hope you get the picture .

Well it's a difficult question because we just have no idea what she'd want....Why don't you ask her more questions? It's very difficult to know what people want sexually without actually knowing the person and especially without talking to them about it. I think communication is key in physical intimacy.

This is what you need to do in all honesty !

Buddy as this is new territory to you , switch it on to her and role play with her telling you what she would do ....then you can get a better feel for how far she will go .

 

This is just talk yes ? If it is real life stuff you need to talk about it and get your selves a safe word incase one of you goes to far .

 

I think she just wants to be the bad girl and you tie her up ( with anything ) like you could pretend you just got in from a day at the office to find she as been *very bad * so tell her to get on her knees and tie her hands behind her back with your tie , well she in on her knees ..so ..................untill her punishment is over ...spanking can be with anything , but there are many different paddles to use ( google is your friend ) or over your knee for a good old telling off ...

 

You could also blindfold her and tell her to wait until you decide what the punishment will be ..build the tension a bit ...

 

I need to stop ..I feel like I am having sex infront of everyone , but hope you get the picture .

I like it when connoisseurs join this kind of threads!!!

Ehh tell her she's going to have to do some *hard* time if she can't learn her lesson, but first you'll have to confiscate her before she's taken in. So yeah, suggest to tie her up with your clothes, the sheets, or your belt. Say you'll have to make her learn, or something along those lines. Ice cube "torture" comes to mind. Or playfully ask her "what should I do with you?". Make it fun, good luck!

Have you met in person? Is this a paid service you're "talking to"?

Hahaha :-P Yes, we have met in person, but haven't actually had sex yet. And no, it's not a paid service... a surprise itself in this day, when the majority of girls I've matched with online are prostitutes in disguise or "sugar babies" (which is basically a prostitute in disguise) :'-(

Well it's a difficult question because we just have no idea what she'd want....Why don't you ask her more questions? It's very difficult to know what people want sexually without actually knowing the person and especially without talking to them about it. I think communication is key in physical intimacy.

Same here! lol I have no idea what she'd want, either... it's tricky in that position, I'm expected to guess correctly, with no real direction, without spoiling the mood.

We've had a few sexual conversations, but she gets shy and embarrassed easily so I have to catch her at just the right time. She definitely has a bad-girl side that she's dying to explore! Which is awesome :-D But it's tough to get her to talk about things when she's not horny, and when she is then she doesn't want to answer questions, she wants me to take charge and make her submit. She had just recently told me her fantasy of being tied up and spanked, but got super embarrassed about it immediately!

Thanks for the advice, @pippy longstocking and the rest! Any other suggestions, feel free to bring them on... I'll check back :-)

Not wanting to spoil the mood but you don't know her very well and the last thing in this day and age is for you to tie her up without getting it in writing. Don't be doing any rape fantasy stuff with her either until you know the relationship is solid and she won't turn a sex romp into charges against you.

In the meantime, maybe ask if she would like to watch some dom/sum porn together and if she's up for that, discuss what's taking place and perhaps you'll see what turns her on. If she doesn't want to then have the discussion about what she means by "doing better than that."

Since this hasn't been said here yet I will throw it out there... do you have a local fetish scene in your city? We do in ours and while it is underground (for obvious reasons) I managed to find it through some trusted sources of information. There are clubs and parties you can go to and learn about this sort of thing... maybe it's something you can suggest for you and her to do together and then see what catches her eye?

You do have to be discerning about these parties though... look for ones with very clear rules about consent, attire, safety, privacy, etc.

Hahaha :-P Yes, we have met in person, but haven't actually had sex yet. And no, it's not a paid service... a surprise itself in this day, when the majority of girls I've matched with online are prostitutes in disguise or "sugar babies" (which is basically a prostitute in disguise) :'-(

 

 

 

 

Same here! lol I have no idea what she'd want, either... it's tricky in that position, I'm expected to guess correctly, with no real direction, without spoiling the mood.

 

We've had a few sexual conversations, but she gets shy and embarrassed easily so I have to catch her at just the right time. She definitely has a bad-girl side that she's dying to explore! Which is awesome :-D But it's tough to get her to talk about things when she's not horny, and when she is then she doesn't want to answer questions, she wants me to take charge and make her submit. She had just recently told me her fantasy of being tied up and spanked, but got super embarrassed about it immediately!

 

 

Thanks for the advice, @pippy longstocking and the rest! Any other suggestions, feel free to bring them on... I'll check back :-)

Oh hon this was so me when I left my first marriage . Shy but inside I was a bad bad naughty girl who wanted punished . Not too hard but still punished . Fortunately I met someone who fulfilled that for me. He would tell me to call him daddy and he would spank me . Then he would pin down my wrists and bite my thighs . Oh yeah . I didn’t know what I wanted at all so the first time he bit my thigh was a startle and a turn on . He’d pleasure me and then intermittently bite my thighs . Or talk dirty to her in detail , telling your how she’s going to have to take her punishment like a good girl , you’re going to punish her with your long hard rod lmao. It sounds like she wants you to dominate . Make sure you have a code word for when or if something is too much . Talk about it after too and cuddle . Always cuddle after . There such a thing I can’t remember what it’s called but like a post sub syndrome after a person has been dominated that can feel kind of depressing and scary . And it’s kind of surprising if you never experienced it or expected it before . So make sure to cuddle and talk after and make sure she’s ok . She won’t know she needs that if shes new to this . I know I didn’t but make sure you remember